LikeButta Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 So, met this girl at my job. She was a costumer (I was only working there for one more week) and she gave me her number. I told her I had a gf, and a few other things about me, to which she said I had all these red flags. I told her that it was weird that she assumed I was into her, then she asked me to text her if I were single. So, as it were, my relationship sucked, and so I wanted to just you know, have a back up/ rebound option available because I was already planning on ending my relationship. Which I have. However, the text messages are strange from her. Halloween day: Me: Hey ___, it's ___. I'll hit you up if my situation changes, you seem like a cool girl! If yours changes and you want more of a friend, feel free to give me a text or something too. Take care. Her: I guess I just don't want a situation where if we decide to be physical at all I don't want to get stalked and threatened by your gf or ex gf. Or whatever your situation is.... You seem like a cool dude, and I'm interested in getting to know you better. Me: Lol, I totally understand. No worries. In about a month, I'll be completely uncomplicated. I'll see you around until then. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fast forward, I broke up with my gf a little more than a week ago. Went in for a coffee at my old job and saw the girl just as she left. So I sent her a text: Me: Way not to say hi, ____! Her: Who is this? Me: ____. I just saw you leave the ___. Her: Clearly you didn't make an effort to say hi. Plus I'm pretty sure I asked twice for my number back the last time we spoke.... so maybe you should take a hint. Me: I don't remember that. The last time we spoke was the day you gave me your number. Don't be so surly. Her: Dude, leave me alone. -------------------------------------------- I literally want to just text her that she's a crazy bitch, but that makes me look crazy. Why did she flip out here? She never 'asked for her number back'. I am so confused. Like, annoyed and confused. I'm annoyed because I didn't deserve the blow off, I don't think. And confused because I want to avoid this again in the future. At what point did she ask for her number back? And what does that even mean? I never talked to her from that last text until now when she told me she'd like to get to know me better, but in PERSON asked me not to text her unless I was single the day of those first texts on Halloween. Is she mad that I waited the whole month like I said it would take? Is she mad that I didn't flirt with her during this time? Is she mad that I didn't say hi to her in person (I didn't notice her until I was sat down and all my ex coworkers were talking to me) Like seriously, where does she get off acting like I'm some crazy stalker. She was like nuts. I hope really want to tell her off, but I'm venting here as to not send her another text and really look crazy.
MidwestUSA Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 She didn't want to have anything to do with you while you had a girlfriend, and she certainly doesn't now. She's assuming if you'd break up with a girl to get with her, you'd do the same to her down the road. Don't text her; she's not the crazy one. It's pretty disgusting to have a backup/rebound chick in the wings; she didn't think you'd actually follow thru with it. Yuck. 3
Author LikeButta Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 She didn't want to have anything to do with you while you had a girlfriend, and she certainly doesn't now. She's assuming if you'd break up with a girl to get with her, you'd do the same to her down the road. Don't text her; she's not the crazy one. It's pretty disgusting to have a backup/rebound chick in the wings; she didn't think you'd actually follow thru with it. Yuck. I didn't break up with my gf to be with her, you mis-understood. My relationship sucked and was ending. I was just in a complicated situation for a month. I had already begun the process of breaking up. This girl gave me her number on a whim just because I am nice to people and she thought I was into her. It's not that I was or wasn't. I wasn't available and not single, but it was changing.. but not for her.
MidwestUSA Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 I didn't break up with my gf to be with her, you mis-understood. My relationship sucked and was ending. I was just in a complicated situation for a month. I had already begun the process of breaking up. This girl gave me her number on a whim just because I am nice to people and she thought I was into her. It's not that I was or wasn't. I wasn't available and not single, but it was changing.. but not for her. I was using your own words 'backup/rebound option'. Whether you put it to her that way or not, she knew it. 1
kendahke Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 I wanted to just you know, have a back up/ rebound option available because I was already planning on ending my relationship. Which I have. that's good that you ended it because it wasn't working. However, your statement here says you were looking for someone to use and it sounds like her perception is spot on and she knows well enough to know that you being one week out from a relationship that hadn't been working isn't what she wanted and she let you know. I get you're all in your feelings because she peeped your game, but she's not being crazy by telling you that. She may have very well told you that, but you weren't listening to her--you were trying to get her to get with you. Right now, you need to be about resolving your issue with your recently ended relationship, not trying to lure someone else into your unresolved mess. 1
callingyouuu Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 Me: Lol, I totally understand. No worries. In about a month, I'll be completely uncomplicated. I'll see you around until then. After receiving the text above, she likely deleted you from her phone. She doesn't know your situation about how your relationship is falling apart. So from her perspective, you're asking her to wait a month for a guy she barely knows in case he hypothetically breaks up with his girlfriend. Doesn't make a lot of sense, so I don't blame her. Her responses when you ran into her again don't exactly line up with your story, so possibilities are that 1) she forgot who you are after getting rid of your contact info and is confusing you with someone else or 2) she remembers you but is disgusted with how your last interaction went, and she genuinely wants you to leave her alone. Either way, just leave it and move on. 2
Author LikeButta Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 that's good that you ended it because it wasn't working. However, your statement here says you were looking for someone to use and it sounds like her perception is spot on and she knows well enough to know that you being one week out from a relationship that hadn't been working isn't what she wanted and she let you know. I get you're all in your feelings because she peeped your game, but she's not being crazy by telling you that. She may have very well told you that, but you weren't listening to her--you were trying to get her to get with you. Right now, you need to be about resolving your issue with your recently ended relationship, not trying to lure someone else into your unresolved mess. Yeah, but no where in her texts had she said "Give me my number back" and the last thing she did in person, before those text, was that she gave me her number on her own accord. Maybe she did see that I wasn't serious, but she didn't say she was looking for love when she gave me her number- she actually said she just ended a 8 month relationship as well. At any rate, she didn't need to be rude when I haven't done anything disrespectful towards her. I waited, at her request, until I was completely clean out of my last relationship to text her. If she doesn't want to be rebound, she could come up with a way to do it that is polite and not deluded with an unhinged perspective of what events have transpired. At anyrate, **** it I guess, I don't care about her, I'm just more annoyed by the aggression.
kendahke Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 You're quibbling about insignificant stuff. Point is: she doesn't want you to bother her. You're a stranger to her: she doesn't owe you courtesy just because you have interest in her. Look at your actions: you had to talk yourself off the ledge from making an hysterical text to her about her mental state. That's not being courteous. perhaps it's more "like sandpaper", since you rubbed her the wrong way. 2
Author LikeButta Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 (edited) After receiving the text above, she likely deleted you from her phone. She doesn't know your situation about how your relationship is falling apart. So from her perspective, you're asking her to wait a month for a guy she barely knows in case he hypothetically breaks up with his girlfriend. Doesn't make a lot of sense, so I don't blame her. Her responses when you ran into her again don't exactly line up with your story, so possibilities are that 1) she forgot who you are after getting rid of your contact info and is confusing you with someone else or 2) she remembers you but is disgusted with how your last interaction went, and she genuinely wants you to leave her alone. Either way, just leave it and move on. Our last interactions where literally those text messages I wrote above on Halloween day. She had been into our store like 5 times before that day and flirting with me each time. That last day I was leaving she brought me cookies and talked to me for like 45 minutes. That is when I told her I was in a complicated relationships situation, and I had not once indicated that I was into her other than not shutting down her attempts at flirting with me. She gave me her number very last thing. So I literally have no clue what she meant about asking for it back, twice. Literally, no clue. And you're right, she doesn't owe me anything as a stranger, other than at least some common courtesy that should be extended to all people. You know, like not inventing fake interactions and treating you like an ******* when I had been nothing but respectful. I was just going to tell her she was delusional and rude. Not have a huge blow up text, as you suggest Kendhake. Edited December 6, 2015 by LikeButta
losangelena Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 I'm sorry, but if I'd gotten this kind of text from a number I didn't know: Me: Way not to say hi, ____! I would probably would have gotten defensive, too. Had you gone up to her and said hello in a friendly manner, or texted her later to be like, "hey, saw you at _____, didn't get a chance to say hi; how are you?" That may have netted you a better result. I get that maybe you were trying to be jokey (were you?), but tone is a very hard thing to read over text, and I would have read it as rude and aggressive. At any rate, she didn't need to be rude when I haven't done anything disrespectful towards her. Except approach her in an aggressive manner ... 3
VengeanceGuidesMe Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 I think she probably got her ego bruised that you didn't flirt with her more or that she mis read you. It sounded more like she was interested in you pushing for more (her comment that he just didn't want a rough situation with your ex gf) and felt rejected that you just friendzoned her at the time. I wouldn't worry man, you're better off not getting involved with someone who has that attitude anyway man. 1
katiegrl Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 Our last interactions where literally those text messages I wrote above on Halloween day. She had been into our store like 5 times before that day and flirting with me each time. That last day I was leaving she brought me cookies and talked to me for like 45 minutes. That is when I told her I was in a complicated relationships situation, and I had not once indicated that I was into her other than not shutting down her attempts at flirting with me. She gave me her number very last thing. So I literally have no clue what she meant about asking for it back, twice. Literally, no clue. And you're right, she doesn't owe me anything as a stranger, other than at least some common courtesy that should be extended to all people. You know, like not inventing fake interactions and treating you like an ******* when I had been nothing but respectful. I was just going to tell her she was delusional and rude. Not have a huge blow up text, as you suggest Kendhake. I think she must have been mixing you up with someone else. If it makes you feel better, text her back and say "You must be mixing me up with someone else.....as you never asked for your number back. But no worries it's all cool, here is my number back ×××××× ...take care." Then block, delete and move on. 2
Author LikeButta Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 I'm sorry, but if I'd gotten this kind of text from a number I didn't know: I would probably would have gotten defensive, too. Had you gone up to her and said hello in a friendly manner, or texted her later to be like, "hey, saw you at _____, didn't get a chance to say hi; how are you?" That may have netted you a better result. I get that maybe you were trying to be jokey (were you?), but tone is a very hard thing to read over text, and I would have read it as rude and aggressive. Except approach her in an aggressive manner ... Well, I guess I didn't think about it like that. Well I didn't see her in the store until a few minutes before she left. And I was considering going to say Hi in person. You're right, maybe it came off poorly then. I meant it very jokingly. Like me saying it with a slight chuckle and in a hugely sarcastic tune, but maybe it came off wrong. Anyway, I guess I'll just let it go and ignore her when she's in this store at the same time as me again. This girl is dead to me now, and if she tries to talk to me again, I'll tell her to take a hike and feel victorious about it. I just feel like something isn't meshing with our previous interaction and this interaction.
Versacehottie Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 (edited) I think she is confusing you with someone else OR remembers you slightly but not to the extent that she remembers exactly what transpired (ie the asking for her number back was with some other guy). Either way, I don't think you made quite the impression you thought you did. Sorry. oops to add, she does sound hyper aggressive. maybe you dodged a bullet. Edited December 6, 2015 by Versacehottie 1
losangelena Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 Yeah, now that I'm reading this again, it does sound like she's mixing you up with someone else. What does "asking for my number back" mean, anyway? I don't understand that. That reminds me of a time when a guy I dated for a while sent me his novel manuscript to read via email. Then months later he texted me saying he felt weird about there being copies of it floating around, and asked me to send it back to him. WTF? I sent him back the attachment, but I still have the attachment from his original email ... I was like, I don't think you know how electronic files work, dude. Is this a similar situation? Either way, OP, just give this a big old NAH. 1
WomenWubber Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 She probably feels stupid at this point and is trying to save face. Just forget about her. 1
Author LikeButta Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 Part of me almost texted that back to her, but my name isn't very common. Unless she also confused the names too. And it's possible. I wanted past her last message to me ever, in which she told me she wanted to get to know me better. Yeah, I'm going to move on, but was just hoping to realize what I did wrong so I can avoid it again.
Maggie4 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 No... don't text her, don't tell her off, don't try anything. There is no need to have the last word. You've vented, now call on the non crazy part of you to simply let this go without understanding it. 3
smackie9 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 You don't text a message like that to someone you are interested in.....seriously if someone texted me that I would it to be rude. You both have been negging each other since day one....not sure why any of you would be interested in pursuing anything.
Versacehottie Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 No... don't text her, don't tell her off, don't try anything. There is no need to have the last word. You've vented, now call on the non crazy part of you to simply let this go without understanding it. Yes this course of action is probably best. You have evidence she is a hothead so she will probably find other ways to continue to aggravate you by having trying to have the last word. Sometimes silence speaks very loudly. haha you could always send her screen shots of where she said she wanted to get to know you better, but honestly that will look like you are trying to have a shot with her or that she has gotten to you and you are trying to prove something. I still vote that she is confusing some part of who you are with the interaction you had. People are sh*t with names, haven't you noticed that? Also she could be a diva who expected you when you took the number to jump on it immediately, get out of your situation etc. Some people are narcissistic like that. Not to mention it WAS a little clouded by the fact that you actually still WERE in a relationship:eek: 1
Author LikeButta Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 You don't text a message like that to someone you are interested in.....seriously if someone texted me that I would it to be rude. You both have been negging each other since day one....not sure why any of you would be interested in pursuing anything. I don't follow. I never insulted her and she never insulted me. Isn't that was negging is? Plus, day 1 was our only day of communication other than the superficial interactions at my work when she was my costumer. But you're right, I guess someone who doesn't know who I am could easily take those texts in the wrong light. I'll be more careful about my personality in my texts. Maybe indicate sarcasm where needed.
Author LikeButta Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 Yes this course of action is probably best. You have evidence she is a hothead so she will probably find other ways to continue to aggravate you by having trying to have the last word. Sometimes silence speaks very loudly. haha you could always send her screen shots of where she said she wanted to get to know you better, but honestly that will look like you are trying to have a shot with her or that she has gotten to you and you are trying to prove something. I still vote that she is confusing some part of who you are with the interaction you had. People are sh*t with names, haven't you noticed that? Also she could be a diva who expected you when you took the number to jump on it immediately, get out of your situation etc. Some people are narcissistic like that. Not to mention it WAS a little clouded by the fact that you actually still WERE in a relationship:eek: Thank you, yes. This is my course of action now. And yeah, I no longer have any interest whatsoever in knowing her as a person or romantically now. I don't like people who have that attitude. Thanks for letting me vent here guys and gals. 1
Author LikeButta Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 I don't follow. I never insulted her and she never insulted me. Isn't that was negging is? Plus, day 1 was our only day of communication other than the superficial interactions at my work when she was my costumer. But you're right, I guess someone who doesn't know who I am could easily take those texts in the wrong light. I'll be more careful about my personality in my texts. Maybe indicate sarcasm where needed. Why no edits? customer* 1
SoThatHappened Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 Dude, you just got used/played to boost her ego. That. is. it. Some girls/women just want to see if they can get someone to hit on them, convince them they like him, or just see if he's a stupid monkey willing to do anything she asks. You fell for it. Even dumped your girl for her. She got what she wanted, and now she's done with you. Stop reading into anything.
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