What would you do with this guy?

[brokengirl85]

That's just it tho.... You're not going to know anyone's intentions!! No one is going to be able to tell you what you want to hear at this point, doesn't matter what guy you're dating or how you met them.

What do you want him to say that would make you comfortable and happy to continue seeing him? Specifically I'm asking what you'd like to hear that would calm you down and satisfy you.

 

You wanted to know his intentions on date number 1!!! Nobody is going to come out and tell you..."I'm deleting my OLd profile, you're the one!" This soon . You're being unrealistic. And you're also getting advice now from people who are making it an actual fact that he's dating multiple people... You have No idea if this is true or not! It might be, it might not be. He might be talking to other girls, he might not. He might be keeping them as options in case things with you end and he wants another option. You might be option #1 and getting the only free time that he has in his busy work schedule... Ever think or look at it that way?

 

You also have no idea how much money he makes or what his financial situation is so the people who are tellin you that the fancy expensive dinners are no big deal are misleading you. I'm in the medical industry and deal directly with all kinds of surgeons, ortho, spine, cardiologists, oncology and I can tell you that most doctors are in debt from all their school loans until their mid 40s at the very least. Not saying they aren't making money, but the money they make in their 30's isn't as much as you think at all, and most of it goes to their loans anyways. Don't make assumptions and generalize things you have no idea are true or not.

 

Additionally, you haven't done anything with him to where he should feel like he owes you exclusivity right now. You don't initiate conversations with him or reach out at all to show him you're interested in him as a person or his life, you don't even ask about the date being on or not until an hour beforehand. Could he have confirmed earlier? Sure. But maybe he was looking for you to express some kind of excitement or express you were looking forward to it at some point during the week. Ever consider that? He's taken you out 3 times.. Asks you out again... Then doesn't hear from you until the night of the date, last minute. If I were him I would think you are completely disinterested and a bit socially awkward based on all this. You haven't slept with him so he doesn't owe you the respect that goes along with that to stop talking to and seeing other women. Why would he stop online dating with what you've done with him and conveyed up to this point?

 

 

You are hung up on appearing to be "desperate" and "initiating" communication. This is crippling your interactions and dating possibilities. Anyone who will think you're desperate for texting them first isn't going to end up dating you long anyways so you shouldn't care about hitting them up. The guys who do want to date you long term won't care who texts first and will appreciate actually hearing from you instead of having to pull teeth to get you to talk to them.

 

As a guy, after I take a girl out and pay for 1,2,3 dates.... Hell yes I like and appreciate it when she texts me and sees what I'm up to or how I'm doing. The whole point of dating is to find someone who you like and who likes you right? This guys keeps taking you out on dates so he must like you at some level , that's a given. It's even more visible due to the fact you have only kissed him and he keeps asking to take you out because it shows he's not just trying to hit it once and quit it otherwise he would've pushed for more on the first date.

 

Personally, I think that this guy would be a weirdo if he took down his OLD profile and stopped talking to other woman at this point after 3 dates with you and minimal communication and transparency from you in between.

 

But we'll go through this whole fiasco again in a day or two when he texts you and you change your mind again.

 

just letting me know he wants to see me again before third date ends.

Or a call after. Or a text.

Or not being online 5 minutes after the date ended.

Is this much to ask??

[Qboro90]

Exactly. He's a well known doctor. Extremely well known, even outside the medical community. Why is he acting like a jerk??

 

He's not acting like a jerk actually. If you read my replies above that would be explained.

[katiegrl]

Exactly. He's a well known doctor. Extremely well known, even outside the medical community. Why is he acting like a jerk??

 

None of what you write indicates he is a *jerk*.

 

Not that into you perhaps ...or maybe he is (or was) into you...but your guarded nature, uptightness and inability to simply relax and enjoy yourself tuned him OFF.

 

Does not make him a jerk BK.....you need to get over that.

 

A man is not a jerk just cause he doesn't act like you expect him to or loses interest...or has a different style of dating.

[insert_name]

Exactly. He's a well known doctor. Extremely well known, even outside the medical community. Why is he acting like a jerk??

 

I think its unfair to say he is acting like a jerk. It soubds like he has at least conducted himself well onnthe dates and has not pushed you into anything. He is still single so he has every right to be online after your date. Whilst I agree with Qboro that you can't know his motives its still very unlikely he is on that site just trying to find people to play a casual game of 'words with friends' with. At the very least he is looking to make some sort of connection with people that obviously aren't you. As brutal as it sounds if you were say, Angelie Jolie, would he be on that site (for whatever reason) or spending the time blowing up your phone because he is worried that the goose that laid the golden egg could be whipped away from him at any moment? People with a casual attitude towards you usually do so because they either have better options or they think they have worked out what your options are.

 

Sadly you can't control this behaviour, all you can do is ask yourself whether you are happy with this situation and with him *potentially* speaking to and dating other women. It sounds like you aren't. After only 3 dates it is very difficult to broach the subject of how you feel because it risks you coming off as very clingy, so really you are left with either accepting it and resolving that youbare going to win him over and if you don't then well, good riddance to him or taking this into your own hands and exercising the only amount of control that you have by backing away gracefully and fading out yourself.

Edited December 12, 2015 by insert_name

[Qboro90]

just letting me know he wants to see me again before third date ends.

Or a call after. Or a text.

Or not being online 5 minutes after the date ended.

Is this much to ask??

 

So he was going to go to a hotel but he noticed you got a little uncomfortable so instead he made sure that you didn't have to do that and took you to the beach where you could sit and enjoy the romantic nature of being on the sand, by the water, looking at the night sky which would be a less intimidating and anxious setting for you.....That's actually a considerate thing to do and shows he's not making you do anything.

 

He literally does all the things you listed above. You just aren't seeing them. You've been on 3 dates. You haven't initiated any of them. What's that tell you? Tells me that he's saying he wants to see you again. Very clearly.

Since you don't text him first, ever, all of your communication is due to his efforts and texting. That takes care of your 2nd requirement.

 

Not being online 5 mins after the date ends? Seeing as you have no clue what he's doing online this really isn't any indication of anything. He could be going online and checking up on you and bugging out because you're online all the time as well. What if that's the case?

It's not but the point is that his computer activity is such a non issue and you're making it into a huge deal for no reason.

 

I'm betting that your anxiety and pessimism is very noticeable in person and he can tell. But he's still taking you out so he must like something about you. Can you blame him for keeping his options open with how unstable and evasive you've been so far?

[brokengirl85]

He's not acting like a jerk actually. If you read my replies above that would be explained.

 

yes, I did read you reply. I'm leaning towards thinking he's a jerk, that he's not into me, or that he's actually a good guy. so many opinions here and there's no consensus.

 

I feel sad, angry, then guilty because I deleted his number. I'm not expecting him to fall in love with me and marry me on a third date. I was only expecting a little of security.

 

When I'm with him, I can see he's happy. Then I get trapped in his online behavior, and start thinking negatively, and everything falls into pieces.

 

He might not have a clue I need more texting between dates, because I showed him I don't initiate. He really might not have a clue.

And I've been burnt really badly in the past, initiating, setting dates, insisting, replying seconds away to his texts...I REFUSE to do it again.

 

Will he contact me again? I thought this third date was 100% better than our second one. Honestly. And now, feeling like crap again.

[katiegrl]

just letting me know he wants to see me again before third date ends.

Or a call after. Or a text.

Or not being online 5 minutes after the date ended.

Is this much to ask??

 

Those are all fair things to want ....and I feel the same!

 

The difference between you and me though is ....I would use my intuition and determine that such behavior indicates he is not all that into me, and graciously wish him well and walk away.

 

Instead of continuing to date him and agonizing/obsessing about what he's thinking, what his intentions are, deeming him a jerk, etc etc etc.

 

When you feel like crap THIS early on, it does not bode well for what's to come.

 

If/when he calls again, I would suggest you tell him .... while you have enjoyed your dates, this isn't for you, wish him well.....and the move on.

 

Find a guy with whom you are on the same page...with respect to dating styles.

[Qboro90]

The best part of dating and being single is the "not knowing" part of it when you meet someone. The excitement of "does she like me, do I like her" is what makes it fun. You completely do the opposite of that which is why you react this way.

 

Usually people look forward to uncovering the details about someone they're attracted to bit by bit. You however want the whole movie revealed in the first 5 minutes.

[brokengirl85]

I think its unfair to say he is acting like a jerk. It soubds like he has at least conducted himself well onnthe dates and has not pushed you into anything. He is still single so he has every right to be online after your date. Whilst I agree with Qboro that you can't know his motives its still very unlikely he is on that site just trying to find people to play a casual game of 'words with friends' with. At the very least he is looking to make some sort of connection with people that obviously aren't you. As brutal as it sounds if you were say, Angelie Jolie, would he be on that site (for whatever reason) or spending the time blowing up your phone because he is worried that the goose that laid the golden egg could be whipped away from him at any moment? People with a casual attitude towards you usually do so because they either have better options or they think they have worked out what your options are.

 

Sadly you can't control this behaviour, all you can do is ask yourself whether you are happy with this situation and with him *potentially* speaking to and dating other women. It sounds like you aren't. After only 3 dates it is very difficult to broach the subject of how you feel because it risks you coming off as very clingy, so really you are left with either accepting it and resolving that youbare going to win him over and if you don't then well, good riddance to him or taking this into your own hands and exercising the only amount of control that you have by backing away gracefully and fading out yourself.

 

 

what would be the best way to back away and to fade gracefully?

[insert_name]

The best part of dating and being single is the "not knowing" part of it when you meet someone. The excitement of "does she like me, do I like her" is what makes it fun. You completely do the opposite of that which is why you react this way.

 

Usually people look forward to uncovering the details about someone they're attracted to bit by bit. You however want the whole movie revealed in the first 5 minutes.

 

Thst really is not fun at all unless you really have no investment in the outcome- in which case the chances are that oerson is not for you.

 

If you feel that you have really felt a spark with someone, even worse if you rarely feel a spark, then its one of the worst things in the world to have no security or insight into how they feel. Especially when you can see they are online yet can't know their motives. Trust me, I am going through this at the moment- its awful and I wouldn't wish it on an enemy.

[Qboro90]

Those are all fair things to want ....and I feel the same!

 

The difference between you and me though is ....I would use my intuition and determine that such behavior indicates he is not all that into me, and graciously wish him well and walk away.

 

Instead of continuing to date him and agonizing/obsessing about what he's thinking, what his intentions are, deeming him a jerk, etc etc etc.

 

When you feel like crap THIS early on, it does not bode well for what's to come.

 

If/when he calls again, I would suggest you tell him .... while you have enjoyed your dates, this isn't for you, wish him well.....and the move on.

 

Find a guy with whom you are on the same page...with respect to dating styles.

 

 

I honestly don't think a guy like this exists. There's no one who will be able to read her mind and know how critical of herself and the dates she gets. In order for someone to understand that she would have to explain it and open up on a first or 2nd date, which would undoubtedly result in the guy seeing red flags and losing interest. So it's a catch 22.

 

She's traumatized from a past relationship and carrying it with her in her dating opportunities. It's crippling the chances and sabotaging them before they even start.

 

Look at the facts with this one. She met a very attractive, successful, doctor who initiated the first communication and made the move to ask her out. He didn't push for anything physical on the first date or any date following. Despite her not communicating with him at all he then asked for a 2nd date. Organized and paid for that as well. Then did the same on a 3rd date. And catered to her feelings by going to the Beach and giving her a more relaxed less pressured environment to continue their date. She kept picking his brain asking "what are you thinking," and he honestly told her he was "enjoying the moment"

 

I mean that's the best advice anyone could tell her. Enjoy the moment. This guy might be still logged onto a dating site, sure.

But guess what, maybe he's on there because he really wants to find someone and have a partner to care for and be with seriously. Maybe he's that guy who wants a stable gf and isn't seeing any signs of reciprocity from OP so he has to continue keeping his options open.

 

Most girls try their best to keep dating the successful handsome doctor.... They don't delete their phone numbers after fancy dinners and romantic dates on the beach lol

[insert_name]

what would be the best way to back away and to fade gracefully?

 

Exactly what you have done, say nothing, delete number and hope you never hear from them from them again. I am doing this at the moment, it sucks, but its for the best. I don't want crumbs from the table only to find out that they have met someone they deem better in a few days/weeks.

 

The slight issue with your situation is that it seems your behaviour has been a bit aloof too. In my situation I was chasing so the person in wuestion knows how I feel so their failure to reach out to me shows they have blatantly rejected what I offer.

 

Your sotuation is difficult as it could be argued that this guy does not know how interested you actually are. So him.not following up from this point may not mean he wasn't interested just that he never got enough back from you to think he had any chance if he was to pursue. If you don't have his nunber I guess thats all moot.

 

Think of it as I do- it is in their hands now, let fate take its course.

[katiegrl]

Qboro, I am getting the sense you are asking BK to compromise her values, her needs..twisting herself into a pretzel to accommodate "his" multi-dating style...or overlooking the fact he may not be all that into her.

 

I am a woman, and trust me, whenever a man has been into me, he does not act the way this guy is acting.

 

She is right to be self-protective here ...it is HER heart on the line. Not yours, not mine, but hers.

 

She is miserable dating this guy, anxious and insecure. His dating style or the fact he may not be that into her is causing her a lot of inner turmoil.

 

Maybe she would be this way with any guy, but as she said, and I concur, it's those little things a man does that show us he cares that make all the difference.

 

Like a quick text or call between dates, confirming the date at a reasonable hour, not 30 minutes before the date, not hopping back on line immediately after the date is over (geez)....letting her know he is interested and would like to see her again....these are all things men do when they care. Again, my experience and many other women I know.

 

No one should be miserable and anxious this early on. She needs to move on. Not twist herself around to accommodate HIS needs!

 

BK stay true to yourself and just move on.

Edited December 12, 2015 by katiegrl

[TheTraveler]

So much investment and feelings for one guy you met online and went on 3 dates with... This thread is too much.

[Kamille]

I very strongly feel that the "into you/not into you" philosophy has done more damage to dating than any other philosophies. It's meant that a lot of my friends have developed a lot of crazy expectations about how a man should act after meeting them for the first time.

 

Instead of focusing on having their own lives and expecting relationships to reveal themselves in due time, these women date with anxiety.

 

Brokengirl is doing this. She wants a fairytale, a man who will be so into her after spending 3 evenings with her that he will put his whole life aside and come on strong.

 

Some men come on strong. Fear them. It's been my experience that the men who come on strong really quickly tend to lack balance in their own lives.

 

I'm not saying you should ignore your intuitions. Something is keeping you from feeling at ease with this guy. What I'm saying is that you should focus on developing techniques so you can date with less anxiety.

 

 

 

 

I asked what was he thinking, he said: "I'm enjoying the moment" and you?, he asked. I said I was enjoying the moment as well.

 

 

But one part of me was not. I can't waste anymore of my time and efforts in a guy that is not clear. Nor by text, nor when we meet. He is just, as he said, enjoying the moment. And I don't really know if I like him right now. All this behavior makes me like him less. This player behavior, I mean. Because I think he is playing.

 

 

Why did you lie about how you were feeling? What's wrong with expressing yourself?

Edited December 12, 2015 by Kamille

[insert_name]

Yeah it doesn't sound like she needs to get her baggage out on the table on date 1, just establish whether the other person is seeing anyone else or is the sort of person who does that.

 

Its a fair and casual enough question and a fair enough need for someone to want to date someone who will give them their full attention for the duration of their liasion. Of course the typical riposte to that is 'well they could lie!' Of course they could and some no doubt will, but you can usually spot these people as time goes on because their words and their actions usually lose their consistency and details of their plans usually end up contradicting. Plus they will usually disappear for days on end between messages/dates while its someone else's turn to get their attention.

 

The only thing I would say to the OP is good luck finding an attractive doctor who isn't multi-dating. That is unfortunately a given, I would have thought.

[brokengirl85]

Exactly what you have done, say nothing, delete number and hope you never hear from them from them again. I am doing this at the moment, it sucks, but its for the best. I don't want crumbs from the table only to find out that they have met someone they deem better in a few days/weeks.

 

The slight issue with your situation is that it seems your behaviour has been a bit aloof too. In my situation I was chasing so the person in wuestion knows how I feel so their failure to reach out to me shows they have blatantly rejected what I offer.

 

Your sotuation is difficult as it could be argued that this guy does not know how interested you actually are. So him.not following up from this point may not mean he wasn't interested just that he never got enough back from you to think he had any chance if he was to pursue. If you don't have his nunber I guess thats all moot.

 

Think of it as I do- it is in their hands now, let fate take its course.

 

I'm sorry about your situation. I know how it sucks. I've been the pursuer in the past and still now I'm hurting when I think about him.

 

He knows I'm interested. By the way I act when I'm with him. I look for his kisses, I am curious about him, I ask questions, I thank him for the dinner (ALWAYS), I never pushed him in any way, I never asked him about his online activity, I never asked him to call or text me in any way, but when I'm with him, I'm fully 100% with him. ALWAYS. I'm nice, funny, curious, I try to act sexy, to smile, I'm not a slut (I haven't had sex in three dates!) WTF!! Honestly!! (I'm mad at the situation, not at you )

 

 

It's always on his court. He will realize, as days passes, that I will not contact him (I can't, even if I wanted to). He will realize that I continue living my life. My fear is he will start proposing other kind of dates, and that I'll accept. I need to figure it out how to politely turn him down and move on. It's sad.

[katiegrl]

 

 

***Yeah it doesn't sound like she needs to get her baggage out on the table on date 1, just establish whether the other person is seeing anyone else or is the sort of person who does that.***

 

 

 

Its a fair and casual enough question and a fair enough need for someone to want to date someone who will give them their full attention for the duration of their liasion. Of course the typical riposte to that is 'well they could lie!' Of course they could and some no doubt will, but you can usually spot these people as time goes on because their words and their actions usually lose their consistency and details of their plans usually end up contradicting. Plus they will usually disappear for days on end between messages/dates while its someone else's turn to get their attention.

 

The only thing I would say to the OP is good luck finding an attractive doctor who isn't multi-dating. That is unfortunately a given, I would have thought.

 

First paragraph ... exactly. No one is suggesting he or any guy declare undying love on the first or second date....just what sort of man he is .... and whether he prefers mutli vs. single dating.

 

Agree with the rest of the post too!

 

Frankly, I think it's difficult for multi daters to understand the mentality of single daters....and vice versa....hence all the various and differing opinions on this thread.

[brokengirl85]

I very strongly feel that the "into you/not into you" philosophy has done more damage to dating than any other philosophies. It's meant that a lot of my friends have developed a lot of crazy expectations about how a man should act after meeting them for the first time.

 

Instead of focusing on having their own lives and expecting relationships to reveal themselves in due time, these women date with anxiety.

 

Brokengirl is doing this. She wants a fairytale, a man who will be so into her after spending 3 evenings with her that he will put his whole life aside and come on strong.

 

Some men come on strong. Fear them. It's been my experience that the men who come on strong really quickly tend to lack balance in their own lives.

 

I'm not saying you should ignore your intuitions. Something is keeping you from feeling at ease with this guy. What I'm saying is that you should focus on developing techniques so you can date with less anxiety.

 

 

 

 

 

Why did you lie about how you were feeling? What's wrong with expressing yourself?

 

 

this is a good question. I didn't tell him how I felt because my exact thoughts at that time were: "Yes, me too I'm enjoying the moment, but I feel like you're not that interested and I was wondering why on earth you keep inviting me to these lovely dates, making me think you're in fact into me, but at the end your actions probe otherwise. Are you playing with me? Are you just bored?"

 

And since those thoughts are not appropriate (unless I want the guy to run away and never see him again) I just said: "Me too"

[insert_name]

I very strongly feel that the "into you/not into you" philosophy has done more damage to dating than any other philosophies. It's meant that a lot of my friends have developed a lot of crazy expectations about how a man should act after meeting them for the first time.

 

Instead of focusing on having their own lives and expecting relationships to reveal themselves in due time, these women date with anxiety.

 

Brokengirl is doing this. She wants a fairytale, a man who will be so into her after spending 3 evenings with her that he will put his whole life aside and come on strong.

 

Some men come on strong. Fear them. It's been my experience that the men who come on strong really quickly tend to lack balance in their own lives.

 

I'm not saying you should ignore your intuitions. Something is keeping you from feeling at ease with this guy. What I'm saying is that you should focus on developing techniques so you can date with less anxiety.

 

 

 

 

 

Why did you lie about how you were feeling? What's wrong with expressing yourself?

 

Unfortunately you can tell a person's intent towards you by their actions, not their words and the 'not into you' line is one of the hardest things to hear precisely because it is usually right. Who would risk letting a good partner get away through flaky behaviournthat might turn them off or push them into the arms of someone else?

 

You make an excellent point about men who come on strong- they tend to overwhelm early and then once 'conquered' disappear. So yes in that sense allbthat glitters is not gold and OP needs to be aware.

 

But, how many stories do you read on here or see with your friends where a guy who seems indifferent, sporadic contact, always on the dating site etc eventually turns out to be boyfriend of the year material and the girl ends up in a happy LTR as a result?

 

Very few relationships start out on that sort of footing and why? Because it turns out that he/she actually was NOT that into you after all...

 

As you say, trust your gut- its usually not wrong.

[brokengirl85]

Unfortunately you can tell a person's intent towards you by their actions, not their words and the 'not into you' line is one of the hardest things to hear precisely because it is usually right. Who would risk letting a good partner get away through flaky behaviournthat might turn them off or push them into the arms of someone else?

 

You make an excellent point about men who come on strong- they tend to overwhelm early and then once 'conquered' disappear. So yes in that sense allbthat glitters is not gold and OP needs to be aware.

 

But, how many stories do you read on here or see with your friends where a guy who seems indifferent, sporadic contact, always on the dating site etc eventually turns out to be boyfriend of the year material and the girl ends up in a happy LTR as a result?

 

Very few relationships start out on that sort of footing and why? Because it turns out that he/she actually was NOT that into you after all...

 

As you say, trust your gut- its usually not wrong.

 

Very true. My gut is telling me that this guy is just not that into me, and he's looking for other options online. I'm proud of myself I didn't initiate with him even once and that I haven't had sex with him.

 

The reason I'm so hurt is because I was expecting him to show some more interest, a text or whatever, but I only felt rejection. Once more. Indirect rejection, but rejection after all.

 

I will turn him down in the event he contacts me again with another of his great dates. Moreover, I will ignore his first text. IF he texts me after that, I either ignore him again (depending on what his text is about) or politely say to him that I'm really busy. end of the story.

 

I'm not comfortable not having the power in this relationship. I don't like not to be in control. and you know what?

 

If he's not that into me, or if I'm not his first option: IT"S HIS LOSS

[katiegrl]

The best part of dating and being single is the "not knowing" part of it when you meet someone. The excitement of "does she like me, do I like her" is what makes it fun. You completely do the opposite of that which is why you react this way.

 

Usually people look forward to uncovering the details about someone they're attracted to bit by bit. You however want the whole movie revealed in the first 5 minutes.

 

LOL.....oh you mean that *uncertainty* feeling?

 

That may be true for you and kamille (since she liked your post), but I HATE that feeling! I don't find that exciting at all...I find it annoying.

 

I would much rather a man be direct about how he feels (he is interested in me and wants to date me to get to know me and see where it goes).

 

This is assuming we both feel tons of chemistry and are both looking for a LTR (generally speaking).

 

I am not into casual dating nor am I into being kept on pins and needles wondering when or if I will hear from him again.

 

Ugh, sorry not for me. To each his own though!

Edited December 12, 2015 by katiegrl

[Kamille]

this is a good question. I didn't tell him how I felt because my exact thoughts at that time were: "Yes, me too I'm enjoying the moment, but I feel like you're not that interested and I was wondering why on earth you keep inviting me to these lovely dates, making me think you're in fact into me, but at the end your actions probe otherwise. Are you playing with me? Are you just bored?"

 

And since those thoughts are not appropriate (unless I want the guy to run away and never see him again) I just said: "Me too"

 

 

I think part of your ambivalence is that you're trying to convince him to be into you while holding your own cards close to your chest.

 

You're trying to make sure he doesn't reject you outright. Which makes sense. No one likes rejection.

 

Last month, I was dating a guy for whom I felt strong attraction. I was confused by his behaviour, however. We had a bad date, at which he hardly looked at me and passed on all my attempts at flirting. At the end of that date, I was pretty sure he wasn't into me. He kissed me, which I found really confusing. I couldn't help myself and blurted: "I can't tell if you liked me". Put on the spot like that, he told me he liked me - but later in text revealed he wasn't feeling enough chemistry.

 

You could see it as me "not having played my cards right". I don't think so. I'm thankful it happened this way and that I was honest about my feelings. It meant there was resolution: he came out and told me how he was really feeling and I finally could move on to find, ah, plenty of other guys who are into me (yes, I am currently multi-dating).

 

You could have straight up come up with: "Well, to be honest, I'm a bit confused about your actions. I was wondering why on earth you keep inviting me to these lovely dates, making me think you're in fact into me, but at the end your actions probe otherwise?".

 

That being said... How did his actions on that night prove that he wasn't into you?

[Kamille]

 

I would much rather a man be direct about how he feels (he is interested in me and wants to date me to get to know me and see where it goes).

 

 

This also means that Brokengirl would have to be direct about how she feels. My read is that she isn't doing that.

[katiegrl]

This also means that Brokengirl would have to be direct about how she feels. My read is that she isn't doing that.

 

Good point and very true!!