Author brokengirl85 Posted December 10, 2015 Author Posted December 10, 2015 It would help all of us so much to be more direct and to confront stuff like this when it happens. Bragging to someone you're on a date with about how much interest you get from other people is just plain rude, even if it's a first date. "Women pursue me," may be true, but it's not something you tell a woman unless she's a police officer and you are actually hiding from a mob of women who want to hurt you. Correcting grammatical errors? That can be done in a very joking manner, especially if you've been talking about pet grammar peeves, and one of you makes a grammar boo-boo right in the middle of complaining about other people's grammar. Then it's funny. To merely correct you as a child is, again, just plain rude. Rudeness should be called out immediately. You don't have to make a scene, but "why are you behaving so rudely toward me?" is a perfectly reasonable response to rudeness. And unless you get instant and sincere apologies, get up and walk out. I wouldn't worry about guys continuing to be on the dating site. Women do it too. You only know he's active because you too log in and see when was the last time he was there. But not complimenting you or expressing obvious interest is a huge red flag. You'll be better off with someone else. Don't waste your time. I know it's sexist to say it, but I think the guy should always be the one more into the girl than vice-versa, and he just doesn't sound into you. But next time a guy is rude to you, nail them on it. Don't let them get away with it! Good luck. When he corrected me, he did it in a polite way. I'm not used to get corrected by anyone, but I didn't feel offended. I felt worse when I saw his look of disapproval when the bread slipped out of my hands. It's true that I like him. I cancelled a date with another guy who's Wednesday because I didn't feel like to go on dates with other people. Yet, I could find a date easily if I wanted. It's not I'm a bombshell, in any means, but I'm cute and fun. But, how do you know I'm more into him that him into me? I made ZERO effort to get a date with him, not in the first date, not in the second date, and not in the third date, for sure. I ignored him a couple times when he texted me, I started to sound as dry as he was initially when texting, I ever initiated, I didn't sound interested by texts...so why do you affirm it's me the one who's more interested?
Kamille Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 Stop overthinking this. You have a date with a hot guy. Go. Enjoy. Respect yourself. Have fun. 1
losangelena Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 Stop overthinking this. You have a date with a hot guy. Go. Enjoy. Respect yourself. Have fun. SAME Who cares what a bunch of strangers on a web forum think—stop worrying about this so much. 1
Author brokengirl85 Posted December 10, 2015 Author Posted December 10, 2015 We have just been there and done that. And want u to avoid the mistakes. But if u already have decided what u wanna do... then go ahead. If this thing is making u anxious enough to come and post and ask others what to do then that in itself is a red flag that something is not right. Rest is up to you. And I appreciate all kind of suggestions, just not the rude ones. Having a different opinion is what makes this forum so rich. Ironies and negativity only darkens it.
Author brokengirl85 Posted December 10, 2015 Author Posted December 10, 2015 SAME Who cares what a bunch of strangers on a web forum think—stop worrying about this so much. I do care about your opinions you might be strangers but your voice and oppinions always make me think. I'm kind of scared to go meet this guy tomorrow. I don't know what his intentions are, I know he's replied a bunch of questions that said he's looking for sex. That's the truth, I just went over his questions this morning. So, to be honest, I shouldn't expect too much. Still, his actions reflected otherwise our previous two dates. I just don't get this. Or maybe I don't want to get this. We will see tomorrow, when I say no if he proposes me to have sex, what his next steps will be.
Kamille Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 And I appreciate all kind of suggestions, just not the rude ones. Having a different opinion is what makes this forum so rich. Ironies and negativity only darkens it. Yes, and this forum can also get into your head and ruin dating, especially if you are already prone to anxiety. Learn to trust your instincts. Figure out when you don't have enough information. When this is the case, let go of trying to figure things out. This will relieve some anxiety. (And in the case of this guy, I think you don't have enough information and your anxious mind is filling in the blanks). Also, don't forget that it's okay to make mistakes. You're clearly doing something right with this guy. You have a date. Trust yourself to make the right decisions for you. 2
Qboro90 Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 When he corrected me, he did it in a polite way. I'm not used to get corrected by anyone, but I didn't feel offended. I felt worse when I saw his look of disapproval when the bread slipped out of my hands. It's true that I like him. I cancelled a date with another guy who's Wednesday because I didn't feel like to go on dates with other people. Yet, I could find a date easily if I wanted. It's not I'm a bombshell, in any means, but I'm cute and fun. But, how do you know I'm more into him that him into me? I made ZERO effort to get a date with him, not in the first date, not in the second date, and not in the third date, for sure. I ignored him a couple times when he texted me, I started to sound as dry as he was initially when texting, I ever initiated, I didn't sound interested by texts...so why do you affirm it's me the one who's more interested? Can you see a pattern in your behavior? You go out with this guy, who is handsome and successful and your immediate thought is to wonder why he would want to date and go out with you... Despite the fact that you don't know each other and there's a lot of getting to understand and uncover someone's tendencies and character during the first handful of dates, you picked out the very few relatively minor negative takeaways from the date and exaggerated them to being deal breakers when in fact, you don't know this guy at all yet, no ones perfect, and while it's smart to be skeptical, you also can't be forever pessimistic about every little thing you don't understand immediately. Perhaps during this 3rd date you'll see he is a more sarcastic person and his comments about dating other girls wasn't meant in a cocky tone. Maybe you'll find the opposite and he is a player. But it's a nice night and good food, you should just take advantage of that and the opportunity to get to know someone new. Make a conscious effort not to get to high or too low. I can already see you posting on here following the date saying "we kissed and we had a great time but I asked him to drop me off and didn't invite him in. He hasn't texted me today so it's definitely over. I knew something was off". Don't expose yourself to that kind of caring at this point. Your making him out to be a hero one day and a zero the next depending on the communication and vibe you get and how secure you're feeling from day to day. One day you're cute and fun and the next you say you're average and naive. If you know you're naive then you're allowing yourself to continue that behavior. You need to consciously remind yourself to control and balance your emotions. Every nice comment he makes shouldn't melt your heart and open your legs to make you think he's your next boyfriend and you love him. And every hour that goes by where he doesn't text doesn't mean he's out with other girls and playing you. 2
Author brokengirl85 Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 guys, I'd need your help. Date is in three hours and he hasn't confirmed. We haven't talked since Monday. He is online, active. It's not because he's app on his phone, he's talking to someone bc he is always on the top on the list of guys online. I'm not logged in, I can see his activity without even logging in. I have 1 hour drive to our date, and I honestly don't know what to do. I need advice. I will not, by any means, text him to confirm. Any suggestions? thoughts? I think he never confirmed the previous two dates, but I don't remember as I deleted all his texts.
losangelena Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 guys, I'd need your help. Date is in three hours and he hasn't confirmed. We haven't talked since Monday. He is online, active. It's not because he's app on his phone, he's talking to someone bc he is always on the top on the list of guys online. I'm not logged in, I can see his activity without even logging in. I have 1 hour drive to our date, and I honestly don't know what to do. I need advice. I will not, by any means, text him to confirm. Any suggestions? thoughts? I think he never confirmed the previous two dates, but I don't remember as I deleted all his texts. Why not confirm? You need to know if you're still on and you haven't talked to him for a week. Say something like "looking forward to tonight!" Or, "see you soon!" Something lighthearted. By all means, don't drive an hour unless you're sure, but don't not go because you're stubborn.
Author brokengirl85 Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 Why not confirm? You need to know if you're still on and you haven't talked to him for a week. Say something like "looking forward to tonight!" Or, "see you soon!" Something lighthearted. By all means, don't drive an hour unless you're sure, but don't not go because you're stubborn. It's his job to confirm not mine!
StBreton Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 guys, I'd need your help. Date is in three hours and he hasn't confirmed. We haven't talked since Monday. He is online, active. It's not because he's app on his phone, he's talking to someone bc he is always on the top on the list of guys online. I'm not logged in, I can see his activity without even logging in. I have 1 hour drive to our date, and I honestly don't know what to do. I need advice. I will not, by any means, text him to confirm. Any suggestions? thoughts? I think he never confirmed the previous two dates, but I don't remember as I deleted all his texts. Ok BG...that's a long drive and it's very strange that he hasn't contact you...I wouldn't like that at all. I'd text him to say you are running 15 minutes late...you're not confirming so to speak but alerting him to your date and you should get a response like "no worries, see you there...call me when you're close and I'll order you a drink" ... that's a response I've received before when I was running late for a date. In any case, his response will lead you to your next move. Good luck 1
Author brokengirl85 Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 Stbreton, I don't remember he's confirmed our previous dates. No clue. But he's a very uptight person, I don't think he'll flake. If he flakes, I'll block him and never talked to him again. But I'll give him a chance tonight. Ugh.
Author brokengirl85 Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 Sorry, didn't see your previous post and answered. If I'm running late, I'll text him. I don't like the fact he's not contacted me and he's online talking to others. How disrespectful can that be??
StBreton Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 (edited) Stbreton, I don't remember he's confirmed our previous dates. No clue. But he's a very uptight person, I don't think he'll flake. If he flakes, I'll block him and never talked to him again. But I'll give him a chance tonight. Ugh. Well...you could call the restaurant and ask if there is a reservation under his name if you don't want to do the "running late" text ... what's the harm in texting this to him...and then only being 10 min late or something innocuous That's a 2 hour drive solo if he doesn't show...I'm more protective of myself I guess. You guys are casually dating...what he does on his own time is his business (re: him being online right now). What did people (like me) do before OLD? We didn't have cell phones, we didn't have FB...we hardly knew anything about each other...ah the simple old days...yet we had fabulous dating lives. Edited December 12, 2015 by StBreton
losangelena Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 It's his job to confirm not mine! C'mon. :rolleyes:
truth_seeker Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 Ok BG...that's a long drive and it's very strange that he hasn't contact you...I wouldn't like that at all. I'd text him to say you are running 15 minutes late...you're not confirming so to speak but alerting him to your date and you should get a response like "no worries, see you there...call me when you're close and I'll order you a drink" ... that's a response I've received before when I was running late for a date. In any case, his response will lead you to your next move. Good luck This is good advice.
Author brokengirl85 Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 C'mon. :rolleyes: You don't think this way? I'd have thought that, by the third date, we'd be more comfortable with each other. Following my instincts, I do trust he'll be there. However, I'd have liked him to reach out for me. Yesterday would have been perfect. Or today before three. It's definitely not my job to confirm. It's him the one he invited me.
losangelena Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 You don't think this way? I'd have thought that, by the third date, we'd be more comfortable with each other. Following my instincts, I do trust he'll be there. However, I'd have liked him to reach out for me. Yesterday would have been perfect. Or today before three. It's definitely not my job to confirm. It's him the one he invited me. I think it's your "job" to make an informed decision about what do to. It's your time—do you really want to drive two hours for nothing? I agree that it'd have been NICE if he'd confirmed, but he hasn't and here you are.
katiegrl Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 Ok BG...that's a long drive and it's very strange that he hasn't contact you...I wouldn't like that at all. I'd text him to say you are running 15 minutes late...you're not confirming so to speak but alerting him to your date and you should get a response like "no worries, see you there...call me when you're close and I'll order you a drink" ... that's a response I've received before when I was running late for a date. In any case, his response will lead you to your next move. Good luck ^^This....and if he does not respond at all....then don't go and move on. Please let us know! On pins and needles here!
katiegrl Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 BG.... how did you guys leave it on Monday? Did he say he'd be in touch before the date? Very very odd that you have not heard from him all week. If you don't feel comfortable texting him (or calling him) with what St Breton suggested....then don't go. I'm with you.... IMO he really should be contacting you....assuming he's interested. I would not be feeling good about this at all. If it were me, combined with everything else, the fact he is on the site as we speak when you have a date scheduled in ONE HOUR for which he has not even bothered to confirm with you (especially since you have to drive an hour to get there).... I would just move on.
Author brokengirl85 Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 He just confirmed. I'll update when I'm back
StBreton Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 He just confirmed. I'll update when I'm back Good news...even if at the 11th hour. Have a great time on your date!
Author brokengirl85 Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 Just got home. Dinner was great. Lobster. Then we went to the beach and we talked and kissed. And that was all. He said nothing about wanting to meet me again, he didn't even suggested to have sex, I was a little disappointed because I was ready to say no So yeah, nothing happened. Date went good, we talked about things. Just things. Who knows what this guy wants. Maybe he's bored and wants a friend to talk and kiss? 1
Author brokengirl85 Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 (edited) And here he goes again, he's online again, from the moment we say goodbye. Crap, I'm honestly clueless. I mean, is he bored? Because dinner was expensive and he invited me again. Wth? Couldn't he just wait at least ten minutes to go online? Edited December 12, 2015 by brokengirl85
StBreton Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 And here he goes again, he's online again, from the moment we say goodbye. Crap, I'm honestly clueless. I mean, is he bored? Because dinner was expensive and he invited me again. Wth? Couldn't he just wait at least ten minutes to go online? Well if the guy is that restless, seems he can't wait. Doesn't bode well...who else do you have in the pipeline?
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