What would you do with this guy?

[katiegrl]

Someone suggested I'd ignore him and move on.

 

What's your advice?

 

I think you need to do whatever is right for you.... but as a sidenote and in reading your original post again.....

 

>>"he told me people call him don draper...

I am a huge Man Men fan, and Don Draper, while extremely charming, handsome and successful... is a major womanizer, cheater... and some have even deemed him a sociopath.

 

The fact that people see him as Don Draper.... would set alarm bells off for me.

 

Your call though.

 

Good luck!

[Michelle ma Belle]

Don Draper or not, anyone who has the nerve to correct my grammar regardless if it's my native language or not is a HUGE turn off.

 

Who does that anyway??

 

Pretentious. Controlling. Judgmental. Cold. No thanks.

 

 

OP, save your dignity. This guy has trouble written all over him.

[dobielover]

Ok I had to google Don Draper. I see nothing wrong with this guy, and I would continue seeing him.

 

He was a womanizing, serial cheater and pathologically emotionally unavailable and damaged alcoholic. There's tons wrong with the character, and if he relates to him at all, or if people think he's anything like him, that's reason enough to run.

[Maggie4]

He was a womanizing, serial cheater and pathologically emotionally unavailable and damaged alcoholic. There's tons wrong with the character, and if he relates to him at all, or if people think he's anything like him, that's reason enough to run.

 

Oh! Ha ha I didn't know. I only saw the photos and read the first line, so at least I know it is a fictional character and not the name of an entertainer. So this is a bad guy!

[QueenDafine]

The fact that you keep reflecting and wondering about this guy shows how much you're more invested in this, even if you KNOW he's not good. It's actually a pretty common tactic in well seasoned players; they confuse their women as a trap, I mean you've spent all this time thinking about him, trying to figure him out when really that's exactly what gets someone interested in the first place. And the biggest thing here is your own gut instinct and intuition which you should ALWAYS trust. And it should come naturally after you've been broken by someone already, so you should know some warning signs.Let some other woman become his victim and don't let him have the satisfaction of fooling you. Not worth your time.

[Qboro90]

Someone suggested I'd ignore him and move on.

 

What's your advice?

 

I gave you a ton of advice lol... In a nutshell? Do whatever you feel like, honestly. Don't think about anything else.

 

If you feel like talking to him..... Text him.

If you want to go out with him again.... Text him and ask "I think either Italian food or Movie night for date #3... Make it happen"

 

The flip side option is to just embrace the kind of girl you are. Odds are you're a bit insecure and probably come off as being to forthcoming and trusting during the early stages of dating. Revealing personal details about yourself, discussing past heartbreaks , things like that.

You're going to have to keep dating and figure out why/how you can stop doing those things in order to find a healthy relationship. Or possibly just finding someone who embraces those qualities. There are guys out there who would love having a girl open up and trust them and want exclusivity early on. Gonna be honest tho, they're prolly not going to be very handsome doctors or stellar player types. But you may be the kind of girl who needs to learn the hard way before adjusting and changing how you think.

 

Might date 3 more *******s who you chased and let manipulate/lie to you before saying enough is enough. Then maybe randomly meeting a guy who is incredibly sweet and adores you and you're the one being chased for once and you can see what standards you should've bad your entire life.

 

So moral?

1. Slow down, realize these guys aren't your boyfriend and you can't treat them like they are or expect them to treat you that way.

2. Simplify- don't think about what he might be thinking. You'll never guess that. Just go with what you think. Wanna talk to him? Send him a cute snapchat and go from there.

[brokengirl85]

I gave you a ton of advice lol... In a nutshell? Do whatever you feel like, honestly. Don't think about anything else.

 

If you feel like talking to him..... Text him.

If you want to go out with him again.... Text him and ask "I think either Italian food or Movie night for date #3... Make it happen"

 

The flip side option is to just embrace the kind of girl you are. Odds are you're a bit insecure and probably come off as being to forthcoming and trusting during the early stages of dating. Revealing personal details about yourself, discussing past heartbreaks , things like that.

You're going to have to keep dating and figure out why/how you can stop doing those things in order to find a healthy relationship. Or possibly just finding someone who embraces those qualities. There are guys out there who would love having a girl open up and trust them and want exclusivity early on. Gonna be honest tho, they're prolly not going to be very handsome doctors or stellar player types. But you may be the kind of girl who needs to learn the hard way before adjusting and changing how you think.

 

Might date 3 more *******s who you chased and let manipulate/lie to you before saying enough is enough. Then maybe randomly meeting a guy who is incredibly sweet and adores you and you're the one being chased for once and you can see what standards you should've bad your entire life.

 

So moral?

1. Slow down, realize these guys aren't your boyfriend and you can't treat them like they are or expect them to treat you that way.

2. Simplify- don't think about what he might be thinking. You'll never guess that. Just go with what you think. Wanna talk to him? Send him a cute snapchat and go from there.

 

 

I know you did and I thank you. It's been really valuable for me

 

I'm living my life regardless of this guy. Believe me, I have more serious problems right now. This is the least serious (maybe because of this I keep my attention here Mmm)

 

I'm active in online dating and he's not contacted me, so that's it

[Qboro90]

I know you did and I thank you. It's been really valuable for me

 

I'm living my life regardless of this guy. Believe me, I have more serious problems right now. This is the least serious (maybe because of this I keep my attention here Mmm)

 

I'm active in online dating and he's not contacted me, so that's it

 

 

Even that though ... You don't have to be so definitive with something like this... He spoke to you Sunday... Today is Monday..He's not required to talk to you every day nor should he. You're not his gf. You saying "that's it, it's done" after a single day should show you how sensitive your emotions are and how you need to consciously check yourself and think "is this really a big deal?... I've been out with him twice and spoke to him yesterday... Not gonna throw in the towel because the work week started and he's a doctor so he's obviously very busy... Don't even think about it"

 

If he hits you up, he hits you up and you can pick up right where you left off. Don't give an attitude or sulk until he asks what's wrong. Be mature and able to enjoy the casualness of dating without needing such definitive words or actions from the guy you're seeing.

[Cherryz]

He got alot of red flags but so do you.

 

You just met him. Already kiss him and sebnding him about you want kiss him more is

like telling a guy im horny/or im open to it now.

 

You dont know this guy and you ddnt give the situation time so you could

see and know who he really is.You are already giving him a 10 and kiss and this and that.

 

Do you know there are all kind of people online and in this world?

Players,woman hater, or people with eggo issues that just do this things as a game because they think they "figured out" how woman think.

You also have people that present all nice and rich and blah blah, once they get you you become their home shelter and money bank!

 

And being easy or naive or fast in believing and doing things will make you a easy target.

If first date made you feel bad, why waste any time on this guy?

Block him and move on. And learn from this.

Dont be easy to kiss cause that change things in your mind and make it hard for you to think clear. (it is a way that can fast forward falling inlove) even if its clearly not a good match atall!

 

So its better to focus on getting to know each other , true activity's ect.

[brokengirl85]

He got alot of red flags but so do you.

 

You just met him. Already kiss him and sebnding him about you want kiss him more is

like telling a guy im horny/or im open to it now.

 

You dont know this guy and you ddnt give the situation time so you could

see and know who he really is.You are already giving him a 10 and kiss and this and that.

 

Do you know there are all kind of people online and in this world?

Players,woman hater, or people with eggo issues that just do this things as a game because they think they "figured out" how woman think.

You also have people that present all nice and rich and blah blah, once they get you you become their home shelter and money bank!

 

And being easy or naive or fast in believing and doing things will make you a easy target.

If first date made you feel bad, why waste any time on this guy?

Block him and move on. And learn from this.

Dont be easy to kiss cause that change things in your mind and make it hard for you to think clear. (it is a way that can fast forward falling inlove) even if its clearly not a good match atall!

 

So its better to focus on getting to know each other , true activity's ect.

These rules...not to do this, and not to do that, not being naive, but not sending mixed signals, contact him and propose a third date, no wait block it and move on, don draper is a womanizer and so does he, he's a liar, no wait he's a good guy. Judgemental or maybe uptight, a player, a nice guy, you should take it easy, better, contact him, no I had to block it, that's right

[brokengirl85]

[/b]

 

 

Even that though ... You don't have to be so definitive with something like this... He spoke to you Sunday... Today is Monday..He's not required to talk to you every day nor should he. You're not his gf. You saying "that's it, it's done" after a single day should show you how sensitive your emotions are and how you need to consciously check yourself and think "is this really a big deal?... I've been out with him twice and spoke to him yesterday... Not gonna throw in the towel because the work week started and he's a doctor so he's obviously very busy... Don't even think about it"

 

If he hits you up, he hits you up and you can pick up right where you left off. Don't give an attitude or sulk until he asks what's wrong. Be mature and able to enjoy the casualness of dating without needing such definitive words or actions from the guy you're seeing.

I'm not definitive, but as time passes I realize he might be a player and he'll text me to string me along and nothing more. How can I know if he's interested or just playing with me?

[Qboro90]

I'm not definitive, but as time passes I realize he might be a player and he'll text me to string me along and nothing more. How can I know if he's interested or just playing with me?

 

No ones going to be able to give you the answer to most of these things. You are the one who knows and interacts with him. Is he a doctor? What days does he work? If he's in a hospital mon-Friday 7-3 then holds office hours and you hang out with him Friday night.... What's that tell you? Not a player right? He didn't have any time to go out and see anyone else during the work week and you're the first person he wanted to see once his office closed for the weekend.

 

You can text him and ask "what's your schedule looking like this week?" Or light and playful "I think I'm catching a cold, might need the dr to visit and prescribe me something".

 

I also don't know what personal info you divulged to him so it's possible you may have freaked him out depending on what you said. But assuming it was harmless and nothing serious then you just need to keep your awareness up during the first few weeks of seeing someone. If they hide their phone or won't let you see who they're texting. He's probly playing you.

 

But just because he says he's busy Saturday going out with a couple friends. That doesn't mean he's a player. Just means he has his own individual life and it's not revolving around you.

[Cherryz]

These rules...not to do this, and not to do that, not being naive, but not sending mixed signals, contact him and propose a third date, no wait block it and move on, don draper is a womanizer and so does he, he's a liar, no wait he's a good guy. Judgemental or maybe uptight, a player, a nice guy, you should take it easy, better, contact him, no I had to block it, that's right

 

 

Hey your life!Not mine. You the one asking for advice.

You can make fun of it. but i guess we will see more of this kind of post from you looking at your reactions.

[blueskyday]

I would put him on the back burner, for all the reasons the other posters have given. He sounds like a player, he's rude and he doesn't focus on getting to know who you are by asking questions about your interests.

 

The biggest red flag I notice is that he tells you how many women are after him. Really? In the future, if a guy says this, you must call him out immediately. Don't act impressed. Yawn and say, "I know what you mean. Guys are always chasing me and asking me out. It gets annoying." Or say "I don't like guys who have big egos and need to feel like every woman wants him. That's boring." Yawn.

 

If you do continue to see him, be yourself. Act interested and excited if that's the way you feel. Don't play games. If the real you drives a guy away, then good riddance. You might just keep a bad guy around too long by feigning disinterest, and you might drive away a good guy who would have appreciated your enthusiasm. ��

Edited December 8, 2015 by blueskyday

[brokengirl85]

Maybe I was wrong about him? Maybe we were all wrong? this cannot be happening to me, can't be possible.

 

He just invited me to a romantic dinner close to the ocean this Friday.

 

He could have me without having to invest so much on me. He honestly could. Instead, he's taking the time to plan a romantic evening in a pricey rest.

 

I said yes. My guess is he'll try to sleep with me as it's quite far from home.

[mrldii]

DON'T ORDER THE LOBSTER AT THIS SEASIDE DATE!!!

 

To boot, it's the 3rd date...and you-know-what happens on the third date. If you order the lobster, it's just gotta happen...it's *like* you owe him, or sumpin'-sumpin'.

 

 

It's in The Rules, and sh*t.

[brokengirl85]

DON'T ORDER THE LOBSTER AT THIS SEASIDE DATE!!!

 

To boot, it's the 3rd date...and you-know-what happens on the third date. If you order the lobster, it's just gotta happen...it's *like* you owe him, or sumpin'-sumpin'.

 

 

It's in The Rules, and sh*t.

 

I'll not sleep with him. I need to figure out a way to run once the dinner is over.

[TheTraveler]

I met him on okcupid.

 

Background:

He's a 10. Sorry for being this superficial, it's just to give you an idea. (he told me people call him don draper)

He's been active on okcupid all this time

 

The bolded and what you wrote as his background. I had to laugh.

 

Edited December 9, 2015 by TheTraveler

[brokengirl85]

The bolded and what you wrote as his background. I had to laugh.

 

 

Glad I made you laught my guess is you think he's fake or a player, or a creep. Don't you?

Should i fear he's s serial killer? A psychopath?

 

But what if he's not. Can't really be?

[TheTraveler]

Glad I made you laught my guess is you think he's fake or a player, or a creep. Don't you?

Should i fear he's s serial killer? A psychopath?

 

But what if he's not. Can't really be?

 

The Don Draper of 2015 spends all day and all night on an online dating site.

 

[dobielover]

Maybe I was wrong about him? Maybe we were all wrong? this cannot be happening to me, can't be possible.

 

He just invited me to a romantic dinner close to the ocean this Friday.

 

He could have me without having to invest so much on me. He honestly could. Instead, he's taking the time to plan a romantic evening in a pricey rest.

 

I said yes. My guess is he'll try to sleep with me as it's quite far from home.

 

He's loaded, it's not an investment in you. It's a meal.

[Maggie4]

Mmm... these escargots are so plump and juicy!

Hang on to the bread this time

[StBreton]

"Conversation was ok but he ignored some of my topics of conversation which was awkward but this also happened in the first date"

 

Don't let him get away with this on your romantic dinner date...you could say "I'm sorry, I think I missed your response on such and such...can you tell me again"

 

Study up on fork usage and don't even touch the bread.

 

Tell the guy you have a very early morning and can't stay out too late ... don't let yourself get played.

[blueskyday]

Enjoy yourself! Order the lobster, savor two glasses of the best wine. Eat the bread, order desert and enjoy the gift of gab. Talk, laugh. Enjoy. Then say good night and go home alone.

[Lois_Griffin]

I'm active in online dating and he's not contacted me, so that's it

He's done you a favor. I'm not sure why you can't see that.

 

Any self-important ass who needs to brag to me about all the women who constantly chase him and all the 'options' he's got on the dating site - because through NO fault of his own his parents gave him good genetics - is someone I wouldn't waste another minute with.

 

I value myself much more than to settle for being just another fool gravitating around this lothario feeding his never satisfied ego and hoping he'll notice me in the crowd and throw me a crumb of his attention. What a joke. And you should value yourself more as well, BrokenGirl.

 

The egotistical ass obviously needs his ego fed on a continual basis because he's constantly trawling on OKCupid, so afraid he might miss another ego kibble from the women orbiting him. Honestly? I wouldn't be surprised at ALL if he had managed to message one or two women on the dating site when he excused himself from dinner to use the men's room on both your dates.

 

I repeat. He did you a HUGE favor by not asking you out again. You just can't quite appreciate that just yet.

 

But you will.