HansonGirl Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 I feel like i'm being unreasonable because I feel like this one friend of mine is getting on my nerves, supposedly my good "best" friend, so now everything she does irritates me. I had a skype call with her during which she kept twirling her hair on the screen, and I wanted to be like "can you PLEASE stop doing that, it's annoying." But i didnt because i felt like that would be out of line, and I felt like it isn't right I am planning my trip for the holidays to my hometown - where she lives - and i merely asked her if she'd want to go to this one particular restaurant on a specific day, and to let me know if not because i'm gonna ask around. I didn't want to ask my other friend until I heard from the first friend, so i followed up like twice and i was like ok, i am taking that as a no. That, in and of itself wouldn't be SO bad, but during the skype call she kept whining and complaining that she asked the guy she started dating if he wanted to do this particular activity and he hasn't responded. that's simply unacceptable to her. So basically she can do it, but how dare he do it to her. I said, well maybe he didn't want to do this particular activity or couldn't and it'd be easier to just ignore it than to say no, which i think is extremely rude. Then she kept whining about it and how mean that was of him. So i said, well isn't that what you did when i asked you about that restaurant? And she whined, "oooh i just hate saying nooooo." and then she tried to justify it saying well she and the guy had sex so therefore he cannot do that to her. Um ok... I just can't get past the fact that she can't like see that the person is only doing the same thing she does. and this perhaps would not have been so bad if there hadn't been a series of bad experiences with her, pretty much every single time i've seen her in the past year. For instance our mutual friend organized a get-together before another friend's wedding where this friend said she'd be at. it was nice because we were all in from out of town. when i am on my way to the get-together, i texted her to see if she had arrived yet. she responds that she got these tickets to this rave-type event so she's going to that instead. so she does that and when i'm at the get-together i learn that she didn't even bother to tell the friend who organized it that she wasn't coming. she didn't contact her at all, and the organizer friend was wondering aloud where on earth she was. I had to tell her, listen i don't think she's coming. I know she didn't do that to ME, but i thought that was rude it's not even worth it to like go through everything because then it just becomes a list of grievances. let's just say that every time I talk to her i find it very irritating. and although i asked her about the restaurant, i don't plan on making any plans with her this holiday season because she's clearly a flake. and the scary thing I have thought is that if i had a serious boyfriend, i'd be afraid to bring him around her because if she found him attractive she'd seek validation from him, and if she drinks too much (pretty much guaranteed) she has cheated on her own boyfriends in the past and she flirts with other girls' boyfriends, and even gets with them. It's never been a CLOSE friend's boyfriend but it really really scares me to think that she is capable of that. I guess it bothers me because this is a close friend for a long time, and i don't want to let go i suppose. I don't know what to do.
Survivor12 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 So, why is it that you wanted to have lunch with her in the first place?
Author HansonGirl Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 So, why is it that you wanted to have lunch with her in the first place? I actually asked myself the same thing. Because time passes between these incidents, and I ALWAYS forget. And i think i always think it's going to be different each time. but the hair-twirling convo about the guy took place after the invites, the same day. she was responsive, but conveniently ignored the part of the text about the invitation. i am right now thinking of these other things about her that bother me. it seems wrong to me, to think of all these mean things about someone just because i'm irritated at them. I mean do any of you do that? it seems like unfair almost.
lchf Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 Man I have "friends" like this too. Drives me ****ing insane. A few female friends of mine (which are now demoted to just acquaintances) always flake on everything, and right at the last minute which I just cannot understand. In fact the majority of people I know are flaky. Everything seems up in the air with them. I'm working real hard to find a new bunch of friends.
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