RBRRaikkonen Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 Apologies if im seen new to the forums, but i do need a bit of help with a senario. So my GF and I have been together for 5 years now (We're both 21) and have a lovely 3 year old daughter. We dont live together because im not medically stable at the moment (Epileptic). Anyways, lately we've been talking about our fantasies. We're both into the idea of an MMF Threesome (Dont know if i should be embarrassed by that, im a straight male), and have consdiered from time to time having one with a best friend of mine. Is this a good idea? The only thing im worried about is that if he was bigger than me, I fear that our sex life wouldnt be the same again because of it. Hes not as sexually experienced as us (Lost his virginity nearly 8 months ago), but has had threesomes/foursomes in that time and he was down for it when i brought it up with him. Any form advice would be really appriciated, thanks.
TheBathWater Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 I personally don't feel it's a good idea to introduce a friend into your sexual relationship. I don't think size should be your concern, but rather that your girl will maintain a connection to him through you and there is a risk of them developing feelings for each other over time. Just no. Don't do it. The best way to go about these things, if you're going to do it, is to bring in someone neither of you know (someone from craigslist, an online site, or a swingers group). Tell your friend you've thought it over and decided it wouldn't be a good idea, and don't let your girl know you've considered him at all. Suggest to her that the two of you find someone neither of you know or will see again. 4
Sparta Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 First of all you don't live with her due to medical reasons. Not a good thing reason why I bring that up is has doesn't have anything to do with medical condition. when you bring A third-party into your relationship, you are now opening it A few things to go wrong and they do. You're opening up your relationship for an affair to happen due to someone really liking the other person it happens trust me more than you know especially you're bringing another. You don't have to worry about him just being bigger you've got all kinds of other scenarios to happen they can develop feelings for each other. You're not there to observe what goes on at night. That's not good buddy cell and there's a lot more. There are a lot of people that engaging that and it goes bad. However there are people that engage in threesomes there swingers and all that and I take my hat off to them because they can do that and not get emotional or caught up in it I know how to separate it will not everyone has that
IronZ Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 Personally I would never do this with a friend. It would make things so weird. Just be careful is all I can say. 1
Author RBRRaikkonen Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 Yea its things like not living there that niggle in my head. I trust her a lot, I know she fully has given her heart to me and shows that really obviously which is why I thought nothing bad would happen, but after reading some threads here I thought id post my own situation. Where I live, its quite difficult to get a hold of a stranger due to craigslist being dead, is there any other sites (UK) that would do it? Thanks for replies guys.
TaraMaiden2 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 It screws with my head when two children mess with their lives this way. You were incredibly young when you got together, and frankly, by most dating standards, still are. The fact you have a child together binds you inextricably, for the remainder of your lives, but - and here's the kicker - neither of you are fully mature yet. And that is plain biological fact. Your brains haven't finished forming, and they won't have, for a few years yet, so thinking about stuff like this is really quite dangerous, because you are apt to act on impulse and will regret it big time, in the long run. Experimenting and discussing fantasies at this young age is a red flag, and I'll tell you why. Because you two are vastly different to the young innocent couple who got together 5 years ago, and what you're trying to do is to spice your lives up, because I honestly believe the attraction may be fading, and that you feel you're becoming distanced. This scares the hell out of both of you because you (together) are all you've ever known - AND you have a kid. The insecurity and uncertainty is screaming off the page. You don't actually live together (why not? You have a child, you're both parents...) You're concerned this guy will be better endowed than you. So you go to a stranger. Who's to say he won't be bigger, better and a more skilled and experienced lover than your friend? You really want a complete stranger screwing your GF? You insist you trust her ' a lot'. That's different to 'I trust her completely and I know nothing would ever take her away from me'. Because you know that wouldn't necessarily hold true. Please abandon this idea entirely. It's fraught with problems, and situations you cannot possibly predict, over which you will have no control. Fantasies are fantasies for a reason. If your GF begins, or keeps insisting she would like to try it anyway, look upon that as a red flag, too. Something in the dynamics of your relationship is inevitably changing. Change is not always bad. It cannot be avoided. Change develops and moves on, it's progress. But the way you're going, it would be terribly unhealthy. 1
basil67 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 Whose idea was it? Good question. If it was the girlfriend's idea and the best mate is up for it..... Suspicious
TaraMaiden2 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 It's unclear. The OP did include this in his first post: ....We're both into the idea of an MMF Threesome (Dont know if i should be embarrassed by that, im a straight male), and have consdiered from time to time having one with a best friend of mine.... So currently, it is just guesswork, but yes, if she originally tabled the idea making the fantasy a reality, that's a big red flag right there, too..... 2
PogoStick Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 Yea its things like not living there that niggle in my head. I trust her a lot, I know she fully has given her heart to me and shows that really obviously which is why I thought nothing bad would happen, but after reading some threads here I thought id post my own situation. Where I live, its quite difficult to get a hold of a stranger due to craigslist being dead, is there any other sites (UK) that would do it? Thanks for replies guys. OKcupid would get you swamped with offers. Make a female profile, state in it that you're a couple looking for a male, for a 3 some only. You'll have 100 guys to choose from.
TaraMaiden2 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 ...Yeah. Who will then back of at 100 miles an hour when they find this fishing 'female' is nothing of the kind. Where do people get these dumb ideas...?! :laugh:
Author RBRRaikkonen Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 It was my idea originally. He just seemed down for it.
Glitters Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 It was my idea originally. He just seemed down for it. Is she all up for it? What does she feel about it ? Not a good idea,IMHO
TaraMaiden2 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 It was my idea originally. He just seemed down for it. I will ask you again: Are you honestly willing to put yourself in a place (both physical AND emotional) where you will be seeing another man having sex with your GF - and her thoroughly enjoying it? Really? Why at your tender age, when you don't even live with her, would you put yourself in a position of jeopardising the already-fragile situation you guys currently have? Did you not read my previous post to you??
smackie9 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 I suggest you talk this over more with your GF and communicate your insecurities about penis size, her enjoying the sex more from the other person, feeling left out, the risk of the relationship ending, jealousy, infidelity, disappointing her, etc. Also you both need to set clear boundaries and ground rules. If you don't you risk losing the relationship, and trust. It can be a great experience as long as you go in prepared and on the same page. As for your friend, he has way more experience than you think. It's not about time, it's about what he has been doing....threesome, foursomes.....he's way ahead of the game than you two.
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