The never ending break up

[jhg45]

My ex and I broke up a year and a half ago. We dated for 5 years but we both knew that the breakup was coming. He was the one to initiate it. After we broke up I became depressed and basically obsessed with getting him back. For the past year and a half we have been hanging out and booking up on and off. I am always the one that initiates and he makes it perfectly clear that he has no interest in getting back together.

 

I don't understand why I subject myself to this when I am the one that initiates it. I have tried to stop talking to him and once we don't talk for a while I end up texting him again. He makes it perfectly clear that he doesn't care about me and he just puts me down the whole time I talk to him and whenever I see him. Reading what I am writing I realize how pathetic I sound but I really just don't know how to move on. This has turned into an obsession and I feel like my life has been on hold. I have cried, begged, pleaded, and am constantly looking at his social media. I really have become the crazy ex girlfriend and I don't know what to do or how to stop my behavior. Yesterday I saw him and we got into a fight and told me he never wants to talk again. I am embarrassed by my behavior and do not know how to stop this. Any advice?

[LadyStark]

Hi Jgh,

 

Firstly, I am really sorry that you're going through this and I know that 99% of people that try to advise you on this matter are going to tell you that you are the only person that can change this situation for yourself. I do not mean to be harsh or blunt in any way, and believe me I'd be a hypocrite as I too am allowing a man that I love to treat me like s***.... but therein is the crux.. we are allowing these men to treat us like crap. Unfortunately we can and will probably continue to make excuses for them until we see their behaviour for what it truly is.. them having no respect, love or feelings for us. But no amount of me, your family or friends can make you see it.. you won't see it until you see it and I can't tell you when that will be.

 

Please do not feel bad, five years is a really long time, and I am unsure as to your age but if you're young then possibly the thought of being without him is very very daunting. And so you would sooner have him in your life in any capacity than none at all? I am not a psychologist, but I would expect that maybe you have low self-worth, not sure whether this would be caused by the break-up or was pre-existing when you were together.

 

I think you should have a good old think about whether you really, really want to get back with this man. He seems to have no respect for you whatsoever, in fact I would bet that he talks to you in such a vile way so that you believe what he is saying and therefore ensuring that you stay depressed and thinking you're not worth more than he is giving you at the moment.

 

I think if this were me, I would test the waters and go cold turkey not contacting him at all, see what he does. It will be difficult, believe me and you'll probably panic that you're somehow pushing him away. You'll worry all the time you're not talking about how he's feeling, what he's doing.. I am doing the exact same thing myself by the way, so I can tell you it's absolutely awful.. but it can be done. I think he will contact you... eventually.

 

I hope things in other areas of your life are good; do you have friends, a job, family around? I have read a lot of posts here today and thus far yours is the only one that I felt able to comment on. I hope it's helpful, but probably not as I said the only one who can change your behaviour is yourself and that's so hard to do.

 

feel better

[mightycpa]

My ex and I broke up a year and a half ago. We dated for 5 years but we both knew that the breakup was coming. He was the one to initiate it. After we broke up I became depressed and basically obsessed with getting him back. For the past year and a half we have been hanging out and booking up on and off. I am always the one that initiates and he makes it perfectly clear that he has no interest in getting back together.

 

I don't understand why I subject myself to this when I am the one that initiates it. I have tried to stop talking to him and once we don't talk for a while I end up texting him again. He makes it perfectly clear that he doesn't care about me and he just puts me down the whole time I talk to him and whenever I see him. Reading what I am writing I realize how pathetic I sound but I really just don't know how to move on. This has turned into an obsession and I feel like my life has been on hold. I have cried, begged, pleaded, and am constantly looking at his social media. I really have become the crazy ex girlfriend and I don't know what to do or how to stop my behavior. Yesterday I saw him and we got into a fight and told me he never wants to talk again. I am embarrassed by my behavior and do not know how to stop this. Any advice?

Recognition is Step 1. Sounds like you're there.

Caring is Step 2. Sounds like you're almost there.

It is difficult for me to empathize, but you are definitely letting your heart dictate your behavior. Time to put your head in charge, which is not easy. You will fight yourself tremendously.

 

That's the way it is. You have to learn how to be strong.

[jhg45]

Hi Jgh,

 

Firstly, I am really sorry that you're going through this and I know that 99% of people that try to advise you on this matter are going to tell you that you are the only person that can change this situation for yourself. I do not mean to be harsh or blunt in any way, and believe me I'd be a hypocrite as I too am allowing a man that I love to treat me like s***.... but therein is the crux.. we are allowing these men to treat us like crap. Unfortunately we can and will probably continue to make excuses for them until we see their behaviour for what it truly is.. them having no respect, love or feelings for us. But no amount of me, your family or friends can make you see it.. you won't see it until you see it and I can't tell you when that will be.

 

Please do not feel bad, five years is a really long time, and I am unsure as to your age but if you're young then possibly the thought of being without him is very very daunting. And so you would sooner have him in your life in any capacity than none at all? I am not a psychologist, but I would expect that maybe you have low self-worth, not sure whether this would be caused by the break-up or was pre-existing when you were together.

 

I think you should have a good old think about whether you really, really want to get back with this man. He seems to have no respect for you whatsoever, in fact I would bet that he talks to you in such a vile way so that you believe what he is saying and therefore ensuring that you stay depressed and thinking you're not worth more than he is giving you at the moment.

 

I think if this were me, I would test the waters and go cold turkey not contacting him at all, see what he does. It will be difficult, believe me and you'll probably panic that you're somehow pushing him away. You'll worry all the time you're not talking about how he's feeling, what he's doing.. I am doing the exact same thing myself by the way, so I can tell you it's absolutely awful.. but it can be done. I think he will contact you... eventually.

 

I hope things in other areas of your life are good; do you have friends, a job, family around? I have read a lot of posts here today and thus far yours is the only one that I felt able to comment on. I hope it's helpful, but probably not as I said the only one who can change your behaviour is yourself and that's so hard to do.

 

feel better

Hi LadyStark! I definitely agree with you that the only person that can help me in this situation is myself. I realize that my ex does not have feelings for me anymore and he is basically just using me for hookups, but I think the thought process in my mind is that I care about him so much that having him in any capacity is better than nothing. I have decided to initiate the no contact..it has only been a few days but it's really hard!

 

I am 23..I do have friends and family around. It is just so hard to picture myself with someone else and I just can't see it happening. I know this isn't true. I want to move on and be over this. I feel like I have stopped living my life for the past year because I have been so focused on someone who doesn't even care about me anymore. Its pathetic to feel like this!

[makemineamac]

Wow, feel really bad for you here.

 

But as others have said, you're not helping yourself by hooking up with him. You 'do' know that as you said, and you have to realize that 'having him in any capacity' - basically, using you when you offer yourself to him - should be unacceptable to you. You're better than this, aren't you?

 

I'm such an old guy compared to your short 23 years, but there are things you can do to help.

 

Making a list of reasons why you wouldn't want to be with him might be a start.

 

The first item on that list might be why you would want anything to do with someone who completely lacks respect for you.

 

If you were back in a relationship with this guy, just how 'healthy' and 'longterm 'would that relationship be? I can tell you it would be neither.

 

So, you have the opportunity here to open yourself up for something new. Something for you. You deserve it. You care - that's a really important attribute that someone new will love, appreciate and respect.

 

I always repeat this line that someone once told me when I was in a similar position of constant longing for someone who did not want me, and who ultimately would be bad for me anyway. (Nor were they deserving of my love.)

 

That line is: "This all ends when you say it does."

 

In your case, it could mean you decide that NOW will be the end to this pain that you are subjecting yourself to, this endless cycle of texting him for a response, validation, whatever it is. It's your decision to make!

 

That line made a world of difference for me and helped me shift focus from her to me. I was still a wreck for awhile after that but I no longer poured all this energy into thinking about her endlessly, and started to work on making me a happier and healthier person. And it worked!

 

I hope you find that moment or line that speaks to you soon. You deserve to be happy and have someone that loves and cares about you.

 

We shouldn't really be friends with someone who does not treat us with the love, and respect we deserve. You need to stop talking to and interacting with him for your own health.

 

Here'a a great article to read: Revisted: After The Breakup ? Hold tight to your self-respect & stop trying to be friends with the ex that mistreated you! | Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue

 

I wish you well. And one more thing, you can do this!

[jhg45]

Thank you so much for sharing this article. It really spoke to everything I have been going through. I really do ask myself why I would want to be with someone who has no respect for me and I don't have an answer. I also know that we will never have a relationship and it will never go anywhere. I realize this is basically just an obsession because I am so fearful of moving on and being with someone new. I know that I need to complete cut him out of my life because this is so toxic. Although I have said this a million times I'm really trying to do it as of now. I need to do this for my health.

[xuanqi1988]

I'm on the same boat, except the break up was recent. Threw myself at him once after the break up, only to hit a wall. Then I cried so hard in front of him, until he gave me a hug and we had sex. I actually felt so **** afterwards despite the fact that we texted for a couple of days after like nothing had happened. I feel as though every time when I initiate contact, create drama or asks his friends about him, I lose some respect for myself and so does he for me. I hate him for making me feel so little but in fact I am the one belittling myself. We both gotta stay strong and work through this. WE CAN DO IT! :love:

[Captivating]

This is the symptom of withdrawal. For some it is very profound/pronounced.

We all experience this after the breakup for various degrees. This is why we are up here on LS trying to find answers and help from others who are dealing with the similar

heartache.

My suggestion would be to stop stalking him, you absolutely need to cancel him from your friends list or block him. Unfortunately we cannot make someone love us, want us if they don't. Your behavior pushes him further away. Things will get better slowly ! You need to occupy yourself! Talk to supporting friends, go to the gym, books, new hobby, new experiences, pick out some healthy recipes, start to cook everyday Whatever keeps you busy.....help out others up here on LS with your opinion for their problems....it is rewarding. Derail your focus onto yourself, improve yourself and grow! Keep talking to us! You are not alone !!

[darkbloom]

I feel this post so much.

 

It's going to hurt like hell. And you're going to obbsess over it a lot. But you have to make a painful decision. Stop talking to him. Cold turkey. Block and delete his number. Block him on all social media. Make it impossible for yourself to cave and talk to him when you're feeling especially weak. You have to take your power back. You deserve someone who wants to have a relationship with you and doesn't use you for a hookup when you're emotionally fragile.

 

I was able to stay NC by coming to this site everytime I wanted to break and writing my feelings out. I read other people's threads when I'm feeling low and it helps when I can give them advice.

 

You can do this.

 

Hugs.

Edited December 8, 2015 by darkbloom

[LadyStark]

Hi LadyStark! I definitely agree with you that the only person that can help me in this situation is myself. I realize that my ex does not have feelings for me anymore and he is basically just using me for hookups, but I think the thought process in my mind is that I care about him so much that having him in any capacity is better than nothing. I have decided to initiate the no contact..it has only been a few days but it's really hard!

 

I am 23..I do have friends and family around. It is just so hard to picture myself with someone else and I just can't see it happening. I know this isn't true. I want to move on and be over this. I feel like I have stopped living my life for the past year because I have been so focused on someone who doesn't even care about me anymore. Its pathetic to feel like this!

 

Hey,

 

I hope that you are feeling better since this post and managing to stay strong? Do you feel better a tiny bit now that you have made the decision to initiate no contact? Sometimes I think that we feel so s*** in these situations because we just hand over control of a whole manner of things to another person. It's a bit like.. here have my heart, my mind, all my energy.. do what you like with it. I don't know why we do it.. we were happy before these people, logically we will be happy after. But it never ever feels like that, it feels like the end of the world.

 

I totally understand about the having him in any capacity is better than none at all. An ex of mine finished things between him and I after about six months.. and he offered to remain friends. Of course in my head I thought he was just saying let's be friends because he was secretly in love with me and was going to ride in on his white horse and declare undying love for me. Can you imagine my surprise when he then proceeded to actually be my friend?!? Well, two and a half years post break up... we are STILL friends, talk every day and it's not weird at all. But at the time I agreed to being friends even though I wanted more because at the time anything was better than nothing. I suppose that is my really long-winded way of saying... we have all been there, and this kind of thinking generally (although not in all cases) isn't a good thing. In my instance I gained a very dear friend, in your case having his anything is really doing you no favours, but I think you see this now.

 

And of course it is going to be difficult to see yourself with someone else, you had been together for five years.. then a year and a half of this. He has been such a huge part of your life it's going to be so scary and so weird to not having him there. But scary and new doesn't always mean bad, it can be exciting and challenging and the best thing that ever happened to you. Obviously I don't know the whole story or you as a person, but you seem pretty decent, and like other posters have said you genuinely seem to want to change, and that's half the battle. Cliché as it sounds you are worth more and I hope you realise that. No lying to you things will feel pretty god damned s*** over the next few days/weeks and if you're like me you'll go from being 'I am woman hear me roar' to uncontrollable 'why doesn't he love me' every few hours.. this is normal, don't let anyone tell you it isn't, make sure you feel your feelings if that makes sense. Distractions are great, but sooner or later you have to feel the pain.. and just go with it, it's rubbish but as the saying goes... this too shall pass. In the meantime we are all here to help you.

 

x

[burnt]

I realize that my ex does not have feelings for me anymore

but I think the thought process in my mind is that I care about him so much that having him in any capacity is better than nothing.

 

I want to move on and be over this. I feel like I have stopped living my life for the past year because I have been so focused on someone who doesn't even care about me anymore. Its pathetic to feel like this!

 

That's what I read from your original post too--that you realize it's over, you realize you need to move on, but emotionally you're stagnant.

It's not easy. I'm sorry for what you're going through.

 

I do have friends and family around.

 

And that's your best assets right now. Force and plan activities around them, anything to make you stay active both physically and mentally--hobbies, exercises, walking, hiking, hanging out--anything and everything that you like to use to shield your mind from constantly thinking about him.

[xuanqi1988]

Hey,

 

I hope that you are feeling better since this post and managing to stay strong? Do you feel better a tiny bit now that you have made the decision to initiate no contact? Sometimes I think that we feel so s*** in these situations because we just hand over control of a whole manner of things to another person. It's a bit like.. here have my heart, my mind, all my energy.. do what you like with it. I don't know why we do it.. we were happy before these people, logically we will be happy after. But it never ever feels like that, it feels like the end of the world.

 

I totally understand about the having him in any capacity is better than none at all. An ex of mine finished things between him and I after about six months.. and he offered to remain friends. Of course in my head I thought he was just saying let's be friends because he was secretly in love with me and was going to ride in on his white horse and declare undying love for me. Can you imagine my surprise when he then proceeded to actually be my friend?!? Well, two and a half years post break up... we are STILL friends, talk every day and it's not weird at all. But at the time I agreed to being friends even though I wanted more because at the time anything was better than nothing. I suppose that is my really long-winded way of saying... we have all been there, and this kind of thinking generally (although not in all cases) isn't a good thing. In my instance I gained a very dear friend, in your case having his anything is really doing you no favours, but I think you see this now.

 

And of course it is going to be difficult to see yourself with someone else, you had been together for five years.. then a year and a half of this. He has been such a huge part of your life it's going to be so scary and so weird to not having him there. But scary and new doesn't always mean bad, it can be exciting and challenging and the best thing that ever happened to you. Obviously I don't know the whole story or you as a person, but you seem pretty decent, and like other posters have said you genuinely seem to want to change, and that's half the battle. Cliché as it sounds you are worth more and I hope you realise that. No lying to you things will feel pretty god damned s*** over the next few days/weeks and if you're like me you'll go from being 'I am woman hear me roar' to uncontrollable 'why doesn't he love me' every few hours.. this is normal, don't let anyone tell you it isn't, make sure you feel your feelings if that makes sense. Distractions are great, but sooner or later you have to feel the pain.. and just go with it, it's rubbish but as the saying goes... this too shall pass. In the meantime we are all here to help you.

 

x

 

Really like your post. How did you manage to stay friends with someone after the break up without getting attached and wanting more? Wouldn't the thought (or fact) that he was dating someone else hurt you?

So at this point, would you say it's easier to remain friends after wards so that you don't feel the sharp pain of cutting someone off completely? I dated a guy for 7 months and he didn't initiate any contact post break up. As much as I know the benefits of NC, I wanted him to be in my life, even as a friend, though I can imagine how hard it would have made it to let him go. In his last text message, he asked me to "get over me and this whole thing". It really stings every time I think about it, as it he puts himself above me and tells me what to do with my life, and that he's 100% moved on already, and the lingering feelings are one-sided.

[LadyStark]

Really like your post. How did you manage to stay friends with someone after the break up without getting attached and wanting more? Wouldn't the thought (or fact) that he was dating someone else hurt you?

So at this point, would you say it's easier to remain friends after wards so that you don't feel the sharp pain of cutting someone off completely? I dated a guy for 7 months and he didn't initiate any contact post break up. As much as I know the benefits of NC, I wanted him to be in my life, even as a friend, though I can imagine how hard it would have made it to let him go. In his last text message, he asked me to "get over me and this whole thing". It really stings every time I think about it, as it he puts himself above me and tells me what to do with my life, and that he's 100% moved on already, and the lingering feelings are one-sided.

 

Hi Xuanqi1988,

 

I honestly do not know how we managed to stay friends, in fact, no one can, my friends, family are all baffled by it. I mean it wasn't easy, let me tell you, I was so neurotic at first that he was just saying let's be friends to appease his own guilt, but shock and horror I mean he's actually a really, really decent person. I think it was clear that whilst he enjoyed my company a whole lot for him there was no love, whereas I did think I loved him. I think things were less complicated as I never slept with this guy, so transitioning to friends was quite natural. Up until I met someone else I did want more from him and it was easy or me to see what I wanted to see.. so he is very thoughtful and when he would buy me presents (which he does all the time) I would read more into it than him just being a good guy.. that was him showing me how he truly felt. I honestly do not know if during the past two and a half years he has dated others.. I assume so but he has not told me. How would I feel about it? I would feel happy for him, I want him to be happy, but I would worry that he would cease our friendship for the sake of his new girlfriend.. the loss of his friendship would hurt, not the loss of him as a potential partner.. as we don't work like that. So we have now decided to introduce each other as 'this is my FRIEND' if we meet each other's new people, because it's the truth.. we ARE friends.

 

Now at the beginning of the year I started a new relationship, and I was honest from the start that I am sort of BFFs with my ex, and I told the new guy (who is now new ex) that I will not be cutting contact with my ex.. who is now just a friend. It wasn't a problem as he trusted me, turns out new ex is a complete arse.. But that is another story, in fact old ex has been very helpful in making me see that new ex is an arse.

 

I don't know if you can take my story as the rule, I think we are the exception, as although there are times when we don't speak every day I do talk to my friend ex a lot, and the circumstances are different, your ex also sounds like a complete turd. My friend ex is one hundred percent a lovely, genuine and sincere man. The new arse ex hasn't spoken to me in ten days.. and whilst I want to hear from him desperately.. I feel as if in this instance NC is probably best and that sharp pain is for the best.

 

I am sorry that you feel strongly about your ex still, but I think for you NC is best too, as you would hope to rekindle your relationship, I don't feel that you're interested in a friendship just yet. That being said... give it time, maybe you can be friends. Honestly, when I think about my situation though it's just.. it's so strange. When friend ex and I were together I saw less of him than I do now, I spoke to him less.. I mean he's even met my family post break-up.. it is strange.. and I think the lack of sex made it far less complicated. Just to highlight that we obviously had two very different men. Please feel better. x

[CatcherintheRye]

I'm going through a breakup right now as well and, though I know contacting him will not do any good as that has always had the opposite intended effect on him, I still miss him and wonder if he misses me/what he is doing, so I feel you. I'm still in that obsessive state of mind as well, but I'm going to reference my first breakup to hopefully contribute a little.

 

I can tell you that, with my first relationship, it was even harder than now. We were together for two years and the breakup was traumatic for me. I fell to my knees and begged multiple times over the course of probably an hour. We went NC and I made it even worse on myself by constantly checking his email and clinging to the hope he would contact me. Each day was, "oh, he'll contact me soon." It stunted my healing process.

 

I soon began to work on myself. I thought of it as recreating myself in the image of someone who had "absorbed" all of his good traits alongside mine, and became a stronger version of my original myself.

 

Two years later, I don't think about him. I saw him at a restaurant and it was like seeing someone you had one class with in high school and never saw again. People don't lie when they say time heals all wounds. In my opinion, take a time out for yourself. Let him be. You sound like a beautiful person with so much love to give. Love that, one day, you'll pour into a relationship with a man who will respect and love you just as much.

 

You are so worth that kind of relationship and are capable of forming a bond just as strong if not stronger with someone else if you choose.

 

Think of the time spent NC as you becoming more of who you NEED to be in order to maintain a healthy, happy relationship, whether that is with an ex or a new man, it all starts with you being prepared mentally. We were made for this. We are resilient. It's scary to let go, but life is all about taking risks. Let go of the fear he won't be there anymore. He may not go anywhere or he may disappear forever. Only time will tell. Pack up the good things you learned from the relationship and evolve.

 

Remember: Que Sera Sera. Whatever will be, will be. Let things happen. You can only have definite control of your actions.

Edited December 9, 2015 by CatcherintheRye

[jhg45]

I'm going through a breakup right now as well and, though I know contacting him will not do any good as that has always had the opposite intended effect on him, I still miss him and wonder if he misses me/what he is doing, so I feel you. I'm still in that obsessive state of mind as well, but I'm going to reference my first breakup to hopefully contribute a little.

 

I can tell you that, with my first relationship, it was even harder than now. We were together for two years and the breakup was traumatic for me. I fell to my knees and begged multiple times over the course of probably an hour. We went NC and I made it even worse on myself by constantly checking his email and clinging to the hope he would contact me. Each day was, "oh, he'll contact me soon." It stunted my healing process.

 

I soon began to work on myself. I thought of it as recreating myself in the image of someone who had "absorbed" all of his good traits alongside mine, and became a stronger version of my original myself.

 

Two years later, I don't think about him. I saw him at a restaurant and it was like seeing someone you had one class with in high school and never saw again. People don't lie when they say time heals all wounds. In my opinion, take a time out for yourself. Let him be. You sound like a beautiful person with so much love to give. Love that, one day, you'll pour into a relationship with a man who will respect and love you just as much.

 

You are so worth that kind of relationship and are capable of forming a bond just as strong if not stronger with someone else if you choose.

 

Think of the time spent NC as you becoming more of who you NEED to be in order to maintain a healthy, happy relationship, whether that is with an ex or a new man, it all starts with you being prepared mentally. We were made for this. We are resilient. It's scary to let go, but life is all about taking risks. Let go of the fear he won't be there anymore. He may not go anywhere or he may disappear forever. Only time will tell. Pack up the good things you learned from the relationship and evolve.

 

Remember: Que Sera Sera. Whatever will be, will be. Let things happen. You can only have definite control of your actions.

Catcherintherye,

The story of your first break up made me feel a lot better. I honestly do not even want to get back together with this ex but I think I am just so scared of moving on and not finding someone I connected with like I did with him. I want to be at that point of seeing him 2 years later and feeling like its someone I don't even know!

 

I have started NC and I do feel very relieved not talking to him. Its so hard though! I go from feeling happy about not talking to him to obsessing over what he's doing and if he's thinking about me and if I should text him. Any advice on how you fought feelings like this??

[CatcherintheRye]

Catcherintherye,

The story of your first break up made me feel a lot better. I honestly do not even want to get back together with this ex but I think I am just so scared of moving on and not finding someone I connected with like I did with him. I want to be at that point of seeing him 2 years later and feeling like its someone I don't even know!

 

I have started NC and I do feel very relieved not talking to him. Its so hard though! I go from feeling happy about not talking to him to obsessing over what he's doing and if he's thinking about me and if I should text him. Any advice on how you fought feelings like this??

 

I think I said the same things to my first ex - that I would never find someone like him again. Boy was I wrong, and so are you! You will find someone you get along with even more! It's really scary to let someone go, and honestly I'm trying really hard to follow the advice I'm giving you right now too. It'll be extremely hard for a while, but letting go is a powerful thing in itself. Listen to the song, If I Ever Feel Better by Phoenix. It says, "Now I know there's much more dignity in defeat than in the brightest victory." Sometimes it's necessary to move onto something better and, in your case, accepting defeat after so many attempts at communicating in order to maintain something with him is a must. You deserve much more than it seems he can offer. You tried your hardest, and it's okay that it wasn't enough for him to respect and value you. Someone else definitely will.

 

In my first breakup, though I don't remember the EXACT timeframe too well, the first two or so weeks were a nightmare for me. I would be up and down just as you described. It helped me to slowly release all that negative energy somehow, whether it be through talking to and being with friends/family, talking on LS, revisiting or starting a hobby, pampering myself, helping those in need, etc. I know I talked endlessly about what was on my mind to anyone that would listen (which was probably annoying, but the more rapport I built, the better I held up and eventually felt more confident). I even went out and bought a ukulele and tried to learn it! Give whatever constructive activity you can a try that you think could help! You can go up from here whenever you're ready! Pour your love back into yourself now.

 

Take those waves of negative thoughts in stride (they're normal!) and you will see them gradually lessen. Just getting excited about your future for yourself helps! After all, this trial by fire is going to make you even stronger and even more prepared for every kind of relationship in the future. You'll know a lot more about yourself, since by the end, you will have discovered how strong your willpower actually is!

 

We're in this together; almost everyone here on LS too. Now is the time to find what makes YOU, and you alone, happy.

Edited December 10, 2015 by CatcherintheRye