BlueIris Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 I never do at the beginning of a relationship, so I wonder if I’m in a tiny minority on this. I always wait to see if the guy asks me out for a date. I’ll give him openings, and say yes to things like, “would you like to go out?” “would you like to get together?” But I don’t then say, “How about Friday at 7 for drinks at Tony’s Bar.” Do you?
losangelena Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 I never do at the beginning of a relationship, so I wonder if I’m in a tiny minority on this. I always wait to see if the guy asks me out for a date. I’ll give him openings, and say yes to things like, “would you like to go out?” “would you like to get together?” But I don’t then say, “How about Friday at 7 for drinks at Tony’s Bar.” Do you? It really depends on the guy. I once saw a guy's profile on OKC and was so taken with it that I messaged him to basically say, "so when are we getting together?" He was game and he actually went out a number of times! Or if a guy does ask, I have no problem saying, "meet me here at this time for xyz." So yes, to answer your question, I guess I do.
Wewon Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 This isn't meant to be bashing or anti-woman, but genuine curiosity. Why does this asking out, at least to this detail of date and time, seem to be such an deliberate issue for women? I can understand wanting to feel desired or wanting him to take initiative, but when you're at the point of coming up with a specific time why does that matter?
losangelena Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 This isn't meant to be bashing or anti-woman, but genuine curiosity. Why does this asking out, at least to this detail of date and time, seem to be such an deliberate issue for women? I can understand wanting to feel desired or wanting him to take initiative, but when you're at the point of coming up with a specific time why does that matter? Because women forever, ad nausea, have been told to LET THE MAN LEAD! I think the hesitation comes from not wanting to seem pushy or overeager, or that we need to give the man something to chase, attain, win over, etc. That's my guess, anyway.
basil67 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 This isn't meant to be bashing or anti-woman, but genuine curiosity. Why does this asking out, at least to this detail of date and time, seem to be such an deliberate issue for women? I can understand wanting to feel desired or wanting him to take initiative, but when you're at the point of coming up with a specific time why does that matter? I remember being told in the 1980's that I should let a guy chase. Now, I've always ignored the advice.....but yes, it's something we're taught.
jen1447 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 Do you? Sure, all the time. I haven't really been actively dating guys in a while but during my on-the-market times it was common.
jay1983 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 They usually just keep contacting and flirting to let me know they wanna meet.
SwordofFlame Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 I think women need to set the date if they've already cancelled once or keeps declining the man's attempts at setting a date. Yes I realize the reason for that could be lack of interest, but in those rare scenarios when that's not the case... 1
Myragal Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 I never do at the beginning of a relationship, so I wonder if I’m in a tiny minority on this. I always wait to see if the guy asks me out for a date. I’ll give him openings, and say yes to things like, “would you like to go out?” “would you like to get together?” But I don’t then say, “How about Friday at 7 for drinks at Tony’s Bar.” Do you? Not the first couple of dates. I like confident men with initiative. These guys will be more specific in what they want to do. I met most men via dance lessons or hiking groups so there is already an activity they suggest. After a couple of dates I will suggest something if I really like him.
Maggie4 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 I prefer to pick the date and let him pick the place.
Snakechammah Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 I had 2 instances where I asked the guy out. One was because the dude busted me with another guy. I went to his office to apologize but he said he'll rather do it outside of work. Then he later texted me to set a date. The day before the 'date', he bailed but asked if I wanted to meet 'next week'. I ignored him (cos I was pissed he bailed on me).... Over the weekend, I regretted ignoring him because I did him wrong in the first place so I texted him asking him out the next week. Bless him, he forgave me and we went out. The other time, I was out with a girlfriend and this guy I was dating texted me out of the blue. I responded "Hey we're going to this place. Wanna meet?" Completely impromptu and the sweet man rushed to meet me there. Had an awesome date where he met my friends. So that's all. I usually let them do the asking haha!
d0nnivain Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 When asked vague Qs along the lines of "would you like to go out sometime?" I would usually respond with a prompt to get the guy to give me specifics. "I'd love to go out with you. What did you have in mind? I have a hectic couple of weeks coming up."
Gaeta Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 I never do at the beginning of a relationship, so I wonder if I’m in a tiny minority on this. I always wait to see if the guy asks me out for a date. I’ll give him openings, and say yes to things like, “would you like to go out?” “would you like to get together?” But I don’t then say, “How about Friday at 7 for drinks at Tony’s Bar.” Do you? Of course you can set the date! After he gave you his invitation ' Would you like to get together' You tell him you'd love to and you are free Friday evening. If he's a gentleman he will ask you where you'd like to go and what time. This is when you set a date Together as per what you like. I hate when a man tells me How about Friday at 7 for drinks at Tony’s Bar without first consulting me at what time I am free and what type of place I like to go. When a man first ask if we could get together this is where i get to decide where and when I'd like to meet and I set the rules. Yes I would love to meet you Friday I know this great cake place on Sun Boulevard. A gentleman will let you pick time and place and not impose on you anything he'd prefer.
callingyouuu Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 I hate when a man tells me How about Friday at 7 for drinks at Tony’s Bar without first consulting me at what time I am free and what type of place I like to go. When a man first ask if we could get together this is where i get to decide where and when I'd like to meet and I set the rules. Yes I would love to meet you Friday I know this great cake place on Sun Boulevard. A gentleman will let you pick time and place and not impose on you anything he'd prefer. This perspective is really interesting to me, since conventional advice urges guys like me to be very specific in asking women out regarding what we had in mind for time and place. Something on the order of "Are you free Thursday after work? Let's go for drinks at McClaren's at 7." It shows initiative and effort on the guy's part, or so I'm told. So I'm curious if more women feel the same way, that they'd refer a more vague, nonspecific request for a date so that they can set the rules.
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