Liquinn Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Is looking back at old messages re-living it?
Xiomn Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Is looking back at old messages re-living it? What's the point, what good can come from it? Should this be in Coping forum?
Author Liquinn Posted December 5, 2015 Author Posted December 5, 2015 Not sure to both. It's interesting looking back on things, I guess.
livingon Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 No because after reading the old messages, I reconnected with him who turns out to be an entirely different person. No longer the same, he wanted nothing but sex.
Author Liquinn Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 The girl said I did meet said: "I don't show many people my feet to be honest with you" ah well. It's in the past now.
Author Liquinn Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 =] Is looking back at old messages re-living it?
EricaH329 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 What's the point, what good can come from it? To me, when I revisit old messages between an ex and I, I find myself realizing certain things. The way I handle arguments, the way I approach people I care about, etc. It's more of a learning experience for me. To see where I came from, and what things need to be changed. So, in response to your question, I think a lot of good can come from it if you are doing it for the right reasons. Maturity comes with the realization that the way you handle things, sometimes isn't the best. To answer the OP - I don't believe it's re-living the situation. After time passes, you're able to look at it from an outside perspective.
Author Liquinn Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 To me, when I revisit old messages between an ex and I, I find myself realizing certain things. The way I handle arguments, the way I approach people I care about, etc. It's more of a learning experience for me. To see where I came from, and what things need to be changed. So, in response to your question, I think a lot of good can come from it if you are doing it for the right reasons. Maturity comes with the realization that the way you handle things, sometimes isn't the best. To answer the OP - I don't believe it's re-living the situation. After time passes, you're able to look at it from an outside perspective. Looking back at the messeges between me and this girl (she didn't seem at all that nice) but at the time I thought she was... is keeping them a good thing? It's like looking at it from an outsides perspective now. I guess it's nice to look back on them.
smackie9 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 Re-living it? no, but it does make me realize I have a very different perspective.
EricaH329 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 Looking back at the messeges between me and this girl (she didn't seem at all that nice) but at the time I thought she was... is keeping them a good thing? It's like looking at it from an outsides perspective now. I guess it's nice to look back on them. Whether to keep them is up to you, but looking at them while you're still trying to mend a broken heart (unsure of what your situation is) isn't a good idea. I don't look at messages, texts, emails, etc. from ex's without being fully over them. It's not conducive to moving on. Also, as i've previously mentioned, your intentions behind reading them are what's most important. If you are reading them longing for her, not a good idea. But if you are over whatever it is the two of you had, reading them would be a good way to realize your flaws and strengths - and use that knowledge to better yourself.
Author Liquinn Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 (edited) Whether to keep them is up to you, but looking at them while you're still trying to mend a broken heart (unsure of what your situation is) isn't a good idea. I don't look at messages, texts, emails, etc. from ex's without being fully over them. It's not conducive to moving on. Also, as i've previously mentioned, your intentions behind reading them are what's most important. If you are reading them longing for her, not a good idea. But if you are over whatever it is the two of you had, reading them would be a good way to realize your flaws and strengths - and use that knowledge to better yourself. I still have messeges from a girl called Jenn from the US which I used to read all the time. She told me who I was in terms of what I like and she helped me accept it... there comes a time to move on. 2/5 (5th February). =[ Should I block Jenn on Facebook? Idk what to do and another girl is one who I talked to online and we met but it was "odd" - looking back I know better now. Edited December 6, 2015 by Liquinn
carhill Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 IMO, part of life's journey as a human with memory is reflecting upon that journey, with an eye on the present as the controlling medium in the journey, meaning the past existed, what happened happened, it was real and accepted and now is now. If looking at old messages evokes healthy feelings and perspectives, well that's your path. Someone else may find it counterproductive. Myself, my experience is more with stuff from my past marriage. We had a good life and some good times and, even if it didn't last a lifetime, it was valuable and valued while it lasted and those are the tone of the memories in general. My style is experiencing life as a continuum and seeing value in the journey. Sure, some parts suck. However, some parts are memorable and in a positive and uplifting way. We each choose how we process the journey and the messages. 1
Author Liquinn Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 (edited) "But you are so right that clicking by typing and talking, isn't a true indicator that you are going to click in real life, for you never truly know who this person is, until you do meet. But I also think that if there is an 'emotional attachment' beforehand and a 'real' emotional attachment has developed, then flaws can be overlooked and are overlooked.." So this would be the case even with Jenn (who seemed so nice... accepting who I was in terms of what I like). Hmmmmmmmm... 2/5 was almost a year ago now. :/ I prefer to keep old messeges for some reason... hmmmmm... Jenn was so nice at the time =/ I don't want to post them here aha I'm going to block Jenn on the 5th (the first anniversary) of talking to her - hmmmmmmmm. She was helpful at the time. =/ Weird... how can a guy (me) even think about someone he's never met more than someone he has? So much support online about my fetish - yet I don't feel comfortable with talking about it in person... Jenn said she's happy I accepted my fetish. Now what happens? 2/5, 10:57am Me I will always love feet the same I will always like girls. Nothing or no one is going to change that. 2/5, 10:57am Jenn You aren't a bad person, you're aware that someone could be upset by thinking you're only interested in their feet exactly- and there's nothing that should. Edited December 7, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 8 posts merged ~6
Author Liquinn Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 Why when I read old messages "does it not feel the same" as it did at the time?
brokengirl85 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 Liquinn, What is the purpose of this post? You've already opened another with this question... they've all told you to stop looking at old messages, and that yes, one changes as time passes. what are you trying to prove? what would you like to happen?? 1
EricaH329 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 It's difficult to give advice, when the questions seem to be all over the place with little to no information.
Author Liquinn Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 It's difficult to give advice, when the questions seem to be all over the place with little to no information. How do you mean?
TheTraveler Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 OP, what is your opinion of women who walk like a duck and have large, flat bottom feet?
EricaH329 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 Here's your first question: Is looking back at old messages re-living it? Which is a valid question, but then you follow it up with: The girl said I did meet said: "I don't show many people my feet to be honest with you" ah well. It's in the past now. This came from left field. The girl you met with? What girl? What's in the past? And this was your first post that hinted towards you having a foot fetish (which was not established) and made no sense given the original question about reading old messages. I still have messeges from a girl called Jenn from the US which I used to read all the time. She told me who I was in terms of what I like and she helped me accept it... there comes a time to move on. 2/5 (5th February). =[ Should I block Jenn on Facebook? Idk what to do and another girl is one who I talked to online and we met but it was "odd" - looking back I know better now. So here you are implying that you still haven't moved on from this girl Jenn (who is new in this thread). The question about blocking her came from left field as well, considering there is *no* information regarding your relationship with her, or the other girl for that matter. Looking back you know better now? Better what? You seem to be having a conversation that no one is able to follow. It's almost as if we should know this information without you telling us? "But you are so right that clicking by typing and talking, isn't a true indicator that you are going to click in real life, for you never truly know who this person is, until you do meet. But I also think that if there is an 'emotional attachment' beforehand and a 'real' emotional attachment has developed, then flaws can be overlooked and are overlooked.." So this would be the case even with Jenn (who seemed so nice... accepting who I was in terms of what I like). Hmmmmmmmm... 2/5 was almost a year ago now. :/ I'm so confused as to what you mean here. You seem to be putting a bit of a conversation you've had with someone we know nothing about. I'm going to block Jenn on the 5th (the first anniversary) of talking to her - hmmmmmmmm. She was helpful at the time. =/ Helpful at the time? Why not anymore? And why the need to block her? Again, not enough information for us to go on. Weird... how can a guy (me) even think about someone he's never met more than someone he has? Again, little to no information provided for us to give you an accurate bit of advice. Jenn said she's happy I accepted my fetish. Now what happens? What happens with what? Your fetish? Jenn? The messages? This is all over the place, and basically zero information to go off of. You started with the question: Is looking back at old messages re-living it? And ended with: Jenn said she's happy I accepted my fetish. Now what happens? EDIT: You have to remember that none of us know your situation personally. We don't have the information that you have. You have to tell us, in order for us to be able to understand where you're coming from.
Author Liquinn Posted December 7, 2015 Author Posted December 7, 2015 (edited) Why did seeing a pair of female feet in black daps not do anything for me? Is it because I prefer bare feet? How do I move on from Jenn? Hmmmmmm. What happens next? Here's your first question: Which is a valid question, but then you follow it up with: This came from left field. The girl you met with? What girl? What's in the past? And this was your first post that hinted towards you having a foot fetish (which was not established) and made no sense given the original question about reading old messages. So here you are implying that you still haven't moved on from this girl Jenn (who is new in this thread). The question about blocking her came from left field as well, considering there is *no* information regarding your relationship with her, or the other girl for that matter. Looking back you know better now? Better what? You seem to be having a conversation that no one is able to follow. It's almost as if we should know this information without you telling us? I'm so confused as to what you mean here. You seem to be putting a bit of a conversation you've had with someone we know nothing about. Helpful at the time? Why not anymore? And why the need to block her? Again, not enough information for us to go on. Again, little to no information provided for us to give you an accurate bit of advice. What happens with what? Your fetish? Jenn? The messages? This is all over the place, and basically zero information to go off of. You started with the question: Is looking back at old messages re-living it? And ended with: Jenn said she's happy I accepted my fetish. Now what happens? EDIT: You have to remember that none of us know your situation personally. We don't have the information that you have. You have to tell us, in order for us to be able to understand where you're coming from. I miss Jenn who told me about my foot fetish... so what happens now? How do I move on from her? I do miss her and the fact she helped me accept who I am. What do I do? We spoke in February (5th) - let me know if you have any suggestions. Well Jenn made me accept who I am (which is good) but what happens now? I promised her no one would change who I am as a person. And nothing has. I miss her and who she is as a person. What happens next, though? Edited December 7, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 5 posts merged ~6
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