A Super Screwed Up and Dramatic Story

[broken2828]

I met a girl at work about ten months ago. She was beautiful, shy and nerdy. I'm overweight but easy on the eyes, and I'm an extremely confident, alpha male type. She had a boyfriend when we met. I flirted a bit with her and it escalated. I know, a dick move on my part. She ended up kissing me at work, and we went on a date. She denied it was a date to justify her two timing, but it was a date. We went on several.

 

We were developing feelings for each other and I was pressuring her to leave him. He had suggested they see other people but freaked out when she readily found someone else and he hadn't (duh, dude). He didn't spend enough time with her. He knew about me, but I don't know how much. He is my opposite in every way. I know I was probably some sort of rebound. He's beta, I'm alpha. He's fit, I'm fat. He's aloof and cold, I'm passionate and very caring and attentive. He's a goodie goodie, I have sort of the bad boy appeal.

 

Soon, she left him for me. We moved fast. We spent all our time together. I treated her like a queen. I was basically the perfect boyfriend. I made her laugh constantly. I told her she was beautiful all the time. We had so many inside jokes, funny little traditions, sweet couple stuff. We would both go without sleep to see each other. Text constantly. She's very needy, and I fulfilled her neediness in every way. Again, I know this was probably a rebound.

 

Her behavior bothered me, though. She maintained contact with him. I wouldn't have had a problem with that, except it seemed almost like an emotional affair. She would call him their pet names from while they were dating. He was always begging and being a little twerp. I tried to scare him off. I was extremely rude and even somewhat threatening to him. I loved her more than he did. I treated her better. I wanted him to go away.

 

She also flirted with other guys quite a bit. I'm not sure if it was unintentional, or she just liked the attention. She LOVES male attention. It doesn't matter if the dude is old or ugly, she glows when she's being pursued. That's gross to me.

 

The flirting and talking to her ex bugged me. I wasn't going to tolerate it, and told her as such. This led to quite a few fights. It was the only thing we ever fought or argued about, ever.

 

Her parents are insane. Literally. They've been diagnosed, her father as narcissistic and her mother, well, everything else. They hated me. They're extremely christian, as is her ex, while I'm an atheist. They would call her and yell at her, lecture her, call her crying and saying they failed as parents because she was seeing me. They got her little sister to call her and tell her she missed her ex. This interference culminated in her overbearing mother flying from where they live with her sisters to break us up and get her back together with her ex.

 

Her family took her to see him and pressured her to get back with him. I was about to move in. After her family left, I caught her calling him pet names, sleeping with his sweatshirt, and arranging to go to church with him. I broke it off. She cried and cried. She was on her knees sobbing. I sobbed with her. I told her I had warned her, that she was hurting me, that she needed to choose me over him and be done with him or be done with me. I spent the night with a girl who had been pursuing me while I was with her, didn't have sex but just cuddled away my sadness. The girl I spent the night with is beautiful, too. The next morning I woke up early and drove to the church that they had arranged to go to together. My ex wasn't there.

 

I went to her apartment and said that I'd like to continue to try to work things out. My emotions were high. She found out about me spending the night with the other girl. I screwed up and begged, just a bit. When she said no I said fine, and walked out, angry she had strung me along and used me.

 

I didn't speak to her for over 60 days. No contact whatsoever. She sent a few texts here and there for the first week or two. I either didn't respond or responded with one word. I got another job. I got with another girl. Another former coworker of ours, another bombshell. They didn't like each other. Somehow my ex found out we were together. Apparently she got jealous. She showed up at my work a few times, but I wasn't there. My new coworkers told me about it. I broke up with my rebound, because she was unfaithful and treated me pretty badly. I don't think my ex knew.

 

One night, my ex showed up while I was at work. I was shocked to see her after all that time. Her shoulders were slumped, she was extremely sad and quiet. I said hi casually and politely, made a bit of small talk, and walked away. She lunged to watch me walk away. All the body language pointed to her still wanting me. I thought that maybe she had been missing me.

 

I waited about a week, debating contacting her. Finally I did so. I asked her why she had looked so sad when I had seen her. She said she was just tired. I said I happened to be at the grocery store, which is near her house, and that I'd like to stop by and catch up. She said she wasn't home. She said some other time perhaps, and then sent several messages trying to set up a time. I was kinda ambivalent. She was very eager. Over the next few days she called and texted frequently. I responded somewhat infrequently.

 

She dropped by my work again, shortly before I was getting off. She was making eyes at me and so when I got out, we sat in her car and talked for an hour or two. She kept saying how good I looked, over and over. I said I had hurt my hand and she offered to massage it. She hugged me. She asked about the other girl. She kept asking if she made me happy. I said I'm the only one in charge of my happiness. She flirted in her weird, awkward way. She kept painting a scene that her life was horrible. Sob story after sob story. She had no social life, she was failing her classes, she didn't have money for food or her medicine, her dog was dying, she was alone. She said she'd love to have someone. I asked about her and her ex, she said they were still friends.

 

Last night she texted me saying she needed help. She said she had a bad day at work and just wanted to get trashed. I drove to her house and we went out for dinner and drink at a bar. She had one beer and we shared two appetizers. I went back to her house and looked in her fridge. It was full of food. Her supposedly dying dog was jumping around, excited to see me.

 

We went into the bedroom and kissed. I think she kissed me, I can't remember. We hugged. We made out. I asked her to be with me again. She said no. That she couldn't make me happy and give me what I need. We laid down to cuddle. She showed me a sad love song about missing someone. She said it reminded her of me. I showed her one that reminded me of her. The lyrics are "I could make you happy, I could make you love me. I could disappear, completely". It's the perfect fit. We cried all over each other. Mostly me. We held each other. I kissed her neck and she was extremely turned on. I kissed her neck, nibbled and whispered in her ear. She was extremely aroused and covered in goosebumps. She told me how much I had always turned her on, how she was much more attracted to me than to her ex.

 

I asked why we couldn't be together, because I felt there was something she wasn't telling me. She told me she had promised her ex that she wouldn't date anyone for six months, and he would tell her at the end of that six months if they could be official again.

 

I immediately and angrily got up and left. I told her that I knew I had been right about her, that contacting her had been a mistake, and that she had never really loved me. I told her if she had loved me like she had loved him, her life would be happier and stormed out. She said please don't leave like this again. I said goodbye.

 

I know this all sounds crazy. You're probably all thinking we're both terrible people, but her ex really did neglect her and treat her sort of badly. You're probably thinking I should run away and never look back again. And you're probably right. But I want her back. There's just something so intoxicating about her. So, when you tell me what an idiot I am for wanting her, please include some advice on what I can do to get her back. Please.

[Injen]

This girl is stringing you along because as you described her, she longs attention. Her boyfriend is obviously not giving her the attention she wants so she goes to you. She loves her boyfriend way more than she loves you. Right now you are her second option, and you don't want to be option number 2. Even while you guys were together she was doing things that you didn't like, such as flirting. If you feel like you love her too much just to give up. Tell her that it's either him or me. You'll get your answer sooner than waiting 6 months and be another rebound.

[mightycpa]

You fat ****! Holy cannolli! You tell that ****ing girl that if she really wants your big fat ass, that she needs to renege on her promise, and let her ex deal with that problem.

 

That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard, which means that either you're the stupidest guy ever, or she's the stupidest girl ever, or both.

 

You big fat ****ing stupid mother****er. Wasting our time with this! Holy ****!

 

Before you freak out at me over my hate for stupid ****, how old are you? Like 13?

[clam]

You fat ****! Holy cannolli! You tell that ****ing girl that if she really wants your big fat ass, that she needs to renege on her promise, and let her ex deal with that problem.

 

That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard, which means that either you're the stupidest guy ever, or she's the stupidest girl ever, or both.

 

You big fat ****ing stupid mother****er. Wasting our time with this! Holy ****!

 

Before you freak out at me over my hate for stupid ****, how old are you? Like 13?

 

Now honestly, is all this vitriol really necessary?

[broken2828]

You fat ****! Holy cannolli! You tell that ****ing girl that if she really wants your big fat ass, that she needs to renege on her promise, and let her ex deal with that problem.

 

That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard, which means that either you're the stupidest guy ever, or she's the stupidest girl ever, or both.

 

You big fat ****ing stupid mother****er. Wasting our time with this! Holy ****!

 

Before you freak out at me over my hate for stupid ****, how old are you? Like 13?

 

Ha, i'm not going to freak out at ya, homie. But youre not gonna like my answer.

 

I'm 29, she's 21.

[d0nnivain]

Between the age gap, her immaturity & religion this doesn't have long term potential. You want to win. You don't seem to care that her picking you screws up her life with her family & messes with her head in the sense that you don't believe what she believes. She may very well reject her family & her religion but she has to do that because she wants to not because some guy (you) told her to.

[broken2828]

I don't agree with your assesment. She is fine with dating a non believer, it's her disfunctional family that is manipulating and pressuring her out of it. Our religous beliefs don't interfere with our relationship.

 

I do care. I voluntarily stepped out of the way so she could be with him. But he's not taking care of her and she's miserable. I told her if she wanted to pick him i'd still be here for her, because right now she needs someone. Or i will leave her be completely if she wants.

Edited December 9, 2015 by broken2828