Author oregon0011 Posted December 5, 2015 Author Posted December 5, 2015 I am just trying to clarify' date=' is her current profile picture or cover photo of him?[/quote'] Not her current. When you open her page, there are 10 "profile" photos on the left that are all with him. I guess I have never encountered this before, as people would usually delete these from their front page. She claims she cannot just totally "kick him out of her life" because he has nobody else. But at the same time she is "falling for me" So seeing the photos make me think she is less than honest, and still might really be into him. But apparently she can't be because he used to hit her etc.
losangelena Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Not her current. When you open her page, there are 10 "profile" photos on the left that are all with him. I guess I have never encountered this before, as people would usually delete these from their front page. She claims she cannot just totally "kick him out of her life" because he has nobody else. But at the same time she is "falling for me" So seeing the photos make me think she is less than honest, and still might really be into him. But apparently she can't be because he used to hit her etc. OK, well, to me, this does sound like she has something on an unhealthy attachment to an unhealthy person. No one is obligated to keep an abusive person in their lives because they for whatever reason "have nobody else." At the end of the day though, you can't really control how she feel or how honest she is about her feelings. All you can do at this juncture is decide if this is a kind of woman you want to hitch yourself to, if you're willing to be with someone who carries unhealthy attachments with her. I think you can probably do better.
strawberryshortstack Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Not her current. When you open her page, there are 10 "profile" photos on the left that are all with him. I guess I have never encountered this before, as people would usually delete these from their front page. She claims she cannot just totally "kick him out of her life" because he has nobody else. But at the same time she is "falling for me" So seeing the photos make me think she is less than honest, and still might really be into him. But apparently she can't be because he used to hit her etc. So what you're seeing are just the photos that are set to be viewable by the public, since all profile photos are, and remain so even after the current profile photo has been changed. This is nothing to worry about. All this means is that since you are not friends with her, you aren't able to see all the photos she's put up since (that didn't make it to profile photo status) that would have pushed those out of the viewable range. I don't take photos of someone down just because they're no longer in my life, but it doesn't mean that I'm still carrying a torch for them.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Not her current. When you open her page, there are 10 "profile" photos on the left that are all with him. I guess I have never encountered this before, as people would usually delete these from their front page. She claims she cannot just totally "kick him out of her life" because he has nobody else. But at the same time she is "falling for me" So seeing the photos make me think she is less than honest, and still might really be into him. But apparently she can't be because he used to hit her etc. What is the most recent date she added or used a photo with him as her profile picture?
Author oregon0011 Posted December 5, 2015 Author Posted December 5, 2015 So what you're seeing are just the photos that are set to be viewable by the public, since all profile photos are, and remain so even after the current profile photo has been changed. This is nothing to worry about. All this means is that since you are not friends with her, you aren't able to see all the photos she's put up since (that didn't make it to profile photo status) that would have pushed those out of the viewable range. I don't take photos of someone down just because they're no longer in my life, but it doesn't mean that I'm still carrying a torch for them. I understand. I guess the online thing is odd to me. I think even if I was having a girl over the first time I would look around to make sure photos of my ex aren't all over. But with things like social media it is a different story for some.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 What is the most recent date she added or used a photo with him as her profile picture? Was it in the past four months, ten months?
Author oregon0011 Posted December 5, 2015 Author Posted December 5, 2015 Was it in the past four months' date=' ten months?[/quote'] No. You are right. I checked and was over a year ago that that were her main profile photo.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 No. You are right. I checked and was over a year ago that that were her main profile photo. Well that is good thing. If it was more recent that would be a bigger problem. Maybe it is time to connect with her on Facebook and make it official. Get the camera of out and start your own collection of lovers profile pictures. Soon enough, her ex will disappear from sight. You will assert that you are her man now and everyone will know it.
supersot Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 She claims she cannot just totally "kick him out of her life" because he has nobody else. But at the same time she is "falling for me" Honestly this post was pointless without this pertinent info. What else do you know about their relationship, and how did you ever get out of her what was stated above? What was the context of that conversation?
Author oregon0011 Posted December 5, 2015 Author Posted December 5, 2015 (edited) Honestly this post was pointless without this pertinent info. What else do you know about their relationship, and how did you ever get out of her what was stated above? This is what I know. The ex: Dated 4 years. Lived together. Army vet. Kind of mentally "messed up" from it I am guessing. He started using drugs, hit her, stole her money etc. so she moved out. Now according to her, she is not into him romantically at all. But feels bad for him as he is all alone. No friends, family, mental issues etc. so she goes to see him , help him etc. About once a week. So the recurring problem is that she is constantly stressed about this person. Will he become homeless. Will he die. Will he get a job etc. As for her and I, we have amazing chemistry on many levels. She wants to continue to see me, but says she cannot just totally forget him and cut him out of her life. Hence I believe her sort of pushin me away at times. But after a day or two she texts me how much she misses me etc. she feels I am "too good" for her. And isn't sure how I feel about her. She says she is conflicted and confused as she doesn't know what to do. She is falling for me, but can't neglect him for me. I would also say she sort of is very regimented. As in not spontaneous. Sort of careful to not get to close. Edited December 5, 2015 by oregon0011
Maggie4 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 Be careful with this one. Sounds like she's more comfortable with someone who needs her because that makes her feel more secure. You're independent so she thinks you're too good for her. If this is her pattern of choosing her partner, it may not change easily. 1
Author oregon0011 Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 Be careful with this one. Sounds like she's more comfortable with someone who needs her because that makes her feel more secure. You're independent so she thinks you're too good for her. If this is her pattern of choosing her partner, it may not change easily. This is what it seems like. She basically even said that to me. But interestingly, if I "disappear" she becomes close. If I let her know I like her she is scared and backs off.
Maggie4 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 This is what it seems like. She basically even said that to me. But interestingly, if I "disappear" she becomes close. If I let her know I like her she is scared and backs off. No doubt she really likes you a lot. But people often don't go for the person that's best for them. If they did, we wouldn't see so many relationship problems and heartaches. I guess you can only be patient for now. Maybe in time she will see herself differently, and learn how to have a more equal partnership.
Author oregon0011 Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 No doubt she really likes you a lot. But people often don't go for the person that's best for them. If they did, we wouldn't see so many relationship problems and heartaches. I guess you can only be patient for now. Maybe in time she will see herself differently, and learn how to have a more equal partnership. That's the issue. We like each other a lot. And I am not sure how to proceed. If I let her know, she backs off. If I kind of ignore her she misses me. But at the same time I know she is insecure, and I am the man. So it makes things confusing.
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