pcs13 Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 After 4 months I told him either he gives me a title or we should just be friends. He said he liked me a lot but wasn't in a position to start calling me his girlfriend. I've prepared myself for this but still feel a little bit hurt. We decided to meet up one last time and I've never felt so close and comfortable with him like that before. We laughed a lot and he told me how he felt about me which was nice. I'm really sad now and have to keep reminding myself he doesn't like me enough to call me his gf. I decided to take a break from dating people. He still wants to talk to me everyday and said I'm his best friend. I feel like I'm friendzoned
lord193 Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Sorry to hear that . You should talk with him about that ASAP.. and if he treats you as a friend and you want a relationship you should move on then. But maybe he is shy and awkward for him to say that you are his girlfriend.. this rarely happens but it might be the case.
Author pcs13 Posted December 5, 2015 Author Posted December 5, 2015 I'm just really hurt right now and trying not to make anything stupid. There is a girl he is casually talking to and said he felt guilty doing so. I stalked her facebook and found out he liked many of her posts. It hurts a lot because he never liked my posts. I'm so tempted to tell him that but it will make me look need and stupic. I feel like he's used me for 4 months and actually only saw me as his best friend who he is attracted to and having sex with and that girl is his kind of girl because tbh we have nothing in common.
Versacehottie Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 ohhh sorry to hear that. My advice is as SOON as you are able start dating. If you take a "break" under these circumstances you are letting yourself be the victim. Have fun, do light casual dating. Tell people you want to take things slow. I would not be liking that whole FB thing either. Social media can be harmful if you read too much into it. I don't think you are wrong to be upset though as he has admitted he is talking to someone else and dragging his feet about moving forward with you. That's a no-go. Actually you need to see this in most positive light possible. Your value actually just went UP in his eyes. Doesn't mean you will end up together. But he was stalling about calling you his gf and talking to others because he thought he could without consequence and didn't find you compelling enough not to. You just showed him there was consequence and you don't find him compelling to put up with that sh*t. Honestly think about it like that and it will boost your confidence not destroy you. Good luck 4
lilmissjava Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 It is not a good idea to be friends with someone you have feelings for. You need to find someone who is able to give you what you want and have a mutually respectful relationship. You deserve that much, not being strung along for 4 months.
Surfergirl87 Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 I'm so sorry, I've been there. Allow yourself time to grieve-cry, be sad, vent to friends, then get out and distract yourself. Be busy-work out, go out, try not to think about him. I know it's hard but you will be OK. Do not contact him for at least 2 weeks. I also think if he really does like you and sees you are no longer in his life, he will come back and want to be yours.
Myragal Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Why would you want a title? In previous threads you mention little connection, you are insecure, talk little, etc. Why would you want to be his 'girlfriend'? If tomorrow he got on his knees and said 'let's be a couple', why would this be something positive? It would just lead to more months (perhaps years) of the same feelings You'll end it and then hope he 'sees the light'. You know what this is a recipe for more unfullfilment. 1
kendahke Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 He still wants to talk to me everyday and said I'm his best friend. I feel like I'm friendzoned Don't do this. It won't prompt him to change his tack and start wanting to call you his girlfriend. All it will do is to wear your esteem down. You dont' want to be his friend: you want to be his girlfriend. As Anne Boleyn said to Henry Tudor when he wanted her to be his mistress: "Queen or nothing". Yeah, I know that ended badly for her, but we're not talking about history. It's about knowing your worth and what you won't settle for just to be in someone's life. 2
Eighty_nine Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Do not stay friends with him. Not only will you not heal, your pain will probably get worse as he talks to other girls, etc. it will be much harder at first, but then much, much easier than staying in touch would be. I've been in this situation with a lover/friend. He would've gone on with our arrangement forever but it wasn't enough for me. I cut him out of my life, even though he really was a very close friend. A year later, we began talking again a little. And though it was nice to communicate with an old friend, I have absolutely no romantic feelings for him anymore (although he's hinted that he has a little bit of those feelings left for me). My point is you have to cut him off to heal. But unlike what others here might say, if you and he really are friends, you don't have to be out of touch forever. Wait until you don't feel romantically toward him anymore (and it'll happen, believe it or not) and you can try reconnecting as friends.
Author pcs13 Posted December 5, 2015 Author Posted December 5, 2015 Why would you want a title? In previous threads you mention little connection, you are insecure, talk little, etc. Why would you want to be his 'girlfriend'? If tomorrow he got on his knees and said 'let's be a couple', why would this be something positive? It would just lead to more months (perhaps years) of the same feelings You'll end it and then hope he 'sees the light'. You know what this is a recipe for more unfullfilment. I knew he wouldn't give me that, but I still had to try. I felt that a title would help us to open up with each other but he was right, it would make the opposite thing. And now I realize we're just not for each other. If he said yes, that could have been something because in the end we felt a lot closer. But anyway it ended.
Author pcs13 Posted December 5, 2015 Author Posted December 5, 2015 I knew he wouldn't give me that, but I still had to try. I felt that a title would help us to open up with each other but he was right, it would make the opposite thing. And now I realize we're just not for each other. If he said yes, that could have been something because in the end we felt a lot closer. But anyway it ended. Thank you everyone for the positive vibe. I said I would take a break from dating because I've never actually single since I was 16. I want to take some time for myself only. Have you ever felt like everything just fall on your lap right after you decide you don't need anything. So this morning I broke things off with him (ex no.1), then later ex no.2 wanted to talk to me to confess his love (he left me then I met ex no.1), and then later I met a really nice guy that's actually my type and we talked and just click right away. He tried to kiss me but my ex no.1's friends were. I'm worried they would think of me in a wrong way.
kendahke Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 does it really matter what the friends of ex#1--who doesn't want you as his girlfriend--think? For whom are you living your life--you or people who really don't matter? 1
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