MistaYates Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 I've been cheated on by both girlfriends, i have a small group of friends that i love. But i still feel like everyone does better than me. Like being in better relationships and having multiple girls at their call. I feel like the nice guy that is below everyone else.. Like everyone is cooler than me.. And all out better than me..
smackie9 Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Stop being boring and start to do things outside your comfort zone....live a little, take some risks. 1
Author MistaYates Posted December 5, 2015 Author Posted December 5, 2015 Stop being boring and start to do things outside your comfort zone....live a little, take some risks. i work too much for that.
smackie9 Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 i work too much for that. What the hell does that mean?
Author MistaYates Posted December 5, 2015 Author Posted December 5, 2015 What the hell does that mean? It means i work a full time job and have no time to be "fearless". I get in trouble. Believe me. You read 2 sentences on my situation. Just need a little boost up, thats all.
smackie9 Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 I didn't mean go out and base jump or ride a motorcycle through a ring of fire. 1
ChancesAre24 Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 I've been cheated on by both girlfriends, i have a small group of friends that i love. But i still feel like everyone does better than me. Like being in better relationships and having multiple girls at their call. I feel like the nice guy that is below everyone else.. Like everyone is cooler than me.. And all out better than me.. Having multiple girls at their call absolutely does not make them better than you. Do you have any hobbies outside of work? I work a ton and sometimes feel like I would not have time to date again but I still play tennis and go to movies and do interesting things. The right girl will come along when its time but its good to get out so you can meet new people. 1
Author MistaYates Posted December 5, 2015 Author Posted December 5, 2015 Having multiple girls at their call absolutely does not make them better than you. Do you have any hobbies outside of work? I work a ton and sometimes feel like I would not have time to date again but I still play tennis and go to movies and do interesting things. The right girl will come along when its time but its good to get out so you can meet new people. Thats the thing. I know a lot of people. Go out all the time with my buddies, and talk to a decent amount of girls. If i wanted so badly, i could have a new girlfriend right this second. But i just feel like im not cool enough for them or something... Idk. Being cheated on by both of my girlfriends, is real blow to my self esteem it seems. Just not good enough, is how i think.
smackie9 Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Thats the thing. I know a lot of people. Go out all the time with my buddies, and talk to a decent amount of girls. But i just feel like im not cool enough for them or something... Idk Ask your friends what you could do to increase your game/confidence....they know you better than strangers on a website.
ChancesAre24 Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Thats the thing. I know a lot of people. Go out all the time with my buddies, and talk to a decent amount of girls. If i wanted so badly, i could have a new girlfriend right this second. But i just feel like im not cool enough for them or something... Idk. Being cheated on by both of my girlfriends, is real blow to my self esteem it seems. Just not good enough, is how i think. Im sorry to hear that. That honestly does suck. As odd as it may sound I don't think you should take it personally. Those girls cheating on you just proves they have issues they need to deal with.
Author MistaYates Posted December 5, 2015 Author Posted December 5, 2015 Im sorry to hear that. That honestly does suck. As odd as it may sound I don't think you should take it personally. Those girls cheating on you just proves they have issues they need to deal with. Thanks. I really wish i could believe that. Just feel like if i had something that i obviously was lacking to them, they would have stayed. Despite their cheating reputations. Dunno why i think like that.
ChancesAre24 Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Thanks. I really wish i could believe that. Just feel like if i had something that i obviously was lacking to them, they would have stayed. Despite their cheating reputations. Dunno why i think like that. To me cheaters are sucky people with no boundaries. I mean, you can't just go around life cheating on people and hurting their feelings if you are already in a relationship. And there is no way for you to know they are cheaters ahead of time. Do you think there were any red flags that you ignored?
Versacehottie Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Well smackie has a point with taking risks (a bit and what you can fit into your schedule). It doesn't even really have to take time; you can expand your personality. Be less safe. I'm not saying the cheating was your fault but if you play things too straight, too by the book there may not be enough charisma there to keep a girl permanently interested or excited. To make it so this is less likely to happen to you again, hedge your bets by improving your personality. Nothing is wrong with the one you have but I'm guessing the girls might be getting the indirect message that you will either always be there no matter what you do or that they can walk all over you. Too safe. Which is why smackie said take some risks. It can be as simple as the next time you meet a girl acting a little bit more like you don't give a f*ck. Not in a jerk way toward her but that you will be fine if things don't work out between you two. Your friends "get" options because they act like they will always have options. Do the same. If you are in the nice guy spectrum all the way nice, it's not going to hurt you to add in a little bit of the bad boy element. And then choose better with your girls. Sometimes it's just who you choose. But here's the thing: did you get any red flags from these girls before they cheated? Like narcissism or that they were slightly using you? See a guy with options would have pulled back or pulled out because he has options. Start living like you have options. That's risk. Good luck
Unsuretrying Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Thanks. I really wish i could believe that. Just feel like if i had something that i obviously was lacking to them, they would have stayed. Despite their cheating reputations. Dunno why i think like that. I was cheated on by my recent ex. We were dating three months, everything was great, then one night he was supposed to be at my place, I went to his place and caught him red handed. It is not your fault. Cheaters cheat because they obviously have mental problems. And trust me, it is nothing you did or didn't do in the bedroom. You can have amazing sex and cheaters will still cheat. Cheer up! You can find a woman 10x better than any of those POS cheaters.
Author MistaYates Posted December 5, 2015 Author Posted December 5, 2015 Well smackie has a point with taking risks (a bit and what you can fit into your schedule). It doesn't even really have to take time; you can expand your personality. Be less safe. I'm not saying the cheating was your fault but if you play things too straight, too by the book there may not be enough charisma there to keep a girl permanently interested or excited. To make it so this is less likely to happen to you again, hedge your bets by improving your personality. Nothing is wrong with the one you have but I'm guessing the girls might be getting the indirect message that you will either always be there no matter what you do or that they can walk all over you. Too safe. Which is why smackie said take some risks. It can be as simple as the next time you meet a girl acting a little bit more like you don't give a f*ck. Not in a jerk way toward her but that you will be fine if things don't work out between you two. Your friends "get" options because they act like they will always have options. Do the same. If you are in the nice guy spectrum all the way nice, it's not going to hurt you to add in a little bit of the bad boy element. And then choose better with your girls. Sometimes it's just who you choose. But here's the thing: did you get any red flags from these girls before they cheated? Like narcissism or that they were slightly using you? See a guy with options would have pulled back or pulled out because he has options. Start living like you have options. That's risk. Good luck Dude i race down highways with thousands of cars in a big black lifted truck. I take risks. Both these girls told me they loved me first, and they both, have begged for me back. But i told them to go **** themselves. I'm not necessarily a bad boy, but im not a nice guy either.
Versacehottie Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Dude i race down highways with thousands of cars in a big black lifted truck. I take risks. Both these girls told me they loved me first, and they both, have begged for me back. But i told them to go **** themselves. I'm not necessarily a bad boy, but im not a nice guy either. LOL, ok first off, I'm a girl, speaking from a girl's perspective. The risks I'm talking about are more in the mind. Good, sounds like you've got it sorted out. Get out there and find another one then and stop feeling like others are better than you---that's your first mistake.
Author MistaYates Posted December 5, 2015 Author Posted December 5, 2015 LOL, ok first off, I'm a girl, speaking from a girl's perspective. The risks I'm talking about are more in the mind. Good, sounds like you've got it sorted out. Get out there and find another one then and stop feeling like others are better than you---that's your first mistake. My last two cheated on me so how could i have that confidence to keep going. Seems pointless by now.
Versacehottie Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 My last two cheated on me so how could i have that confidence to keep going. Seems pointless by now. Ok so you need a moment to feel sad and regroup. That's ok. Find other ways to build your confidence in the meantime. Don't internalize or make it personal about you that these two cheatings happened. However, you should always strive to be your best in dating to stack odds in your favor. But don't blame yourself for what happened. That will just make it a hole that is hard to get out of--like it sounds/feels like now to you. Good luck
Author MistaYates Posted December 8, 2015 Author Posted December 8, 2015 Ok so you need a moment to feel sad and regroup. That's ok. Find other ways to build your confidence in the meantime. Don't internalize or make it personal about you that these two cheatings happened. However, you should always strive to be your best in dating to stack odds in your favor. But don't blame yourself for what happened. That will just make it a hole that is hard to get out of--like it sounds/feels like now to you. Good luck Its terrible really..
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