NewLeaf512 Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 Does anyone ever forget their first love, no matter how long in the past it was? Do you still carry the flame? Has any romance since been as full on? My first love was nearly (gulp) 30 years ago. We met when I was 17 and although he was already in his third year of uni which made him seem very sophisticated indeed, he noticed me! We dated for 3.5 years, during which we talked, socialised, he taught me to drive (surprisingly he didn't end up with a tranquilliser addiction), first kisses for me, my debutant, attended concerts, he'd come watch me in horse shows, I'd go to his cricket matches. We never slept together (!!) and as we went to different universities we wrote each other actual letters about 3 times a week. There weren't mobile phones so I'd save my coins for the phone to chat with him! When he broke up with me, I don't think I spoke a word to anyone for more than a month. Due to the age difference, he finished his Masters whilst I was still in uni. His education, ambition and lovely personality was the exact combination to land him a super job weeks after finishing his Masters. His first assignment was in Singapore. It was time for him to move on and start his life (I say now with hindsight) but at the time I didn't understand, begged him to stay, cried buckets, and thought I was dying. It seems like yesterday, he will always be the one I remember with fondness and love and consider the one who got away. 1
avintagegirl Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 I dated my first love about 10 years ago and 8 years after I fell in love with him. He is wonderful man. He was my first real kiss. It was one of those moments I will never forget. He and I were holding hands walking to my car and he pulled me in with one arm and picked me up, spun me around, put me down and gave me the sweetest kiss I've ever had. I had waited 8 years for that one kiss. It was worth it. We didn't date long - ultimately we were too different. He gave me an amazing memory though. 1
LydiaLong Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 I have only vague recollections of old loves. Some relationships were ok; most were disastrous. Until I met the man of my dreams later in life. He makes everyone else look insignificant. 1
Xiomn Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 My first love broke up with me 5 months ago, first kiss, lost my virginity to her and all that. I got over it after 2 months when I started dating. Completely indifferent to it now, although she'll always have a place in my heart, if that's not a contradiction? 1
preraph Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 You are indeed lucky to have had such a great first love. You will always have that and cherish those memories, and no one can or should ever try to take that from you. I never had a "blissful" love. Mine were fraught with challenges, but I value them just the same. 2
sportygirl89 Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 My first love was 6 months shy after being divorced. We dated about 6 months so not long. While it wasn't long, it was very intense. I've not dated since him. I hope I do get date though. However I am also happy being single and focusing on me so I can be 100% for the next guy. He was the first guy I ever saw a future with. I've dated before but this one was different. There is a country song with I got the boy and she got the man. My ex has PTSD and wasn't ready to date and strung me along, now he is engaged to some girl who got the man. I don't think you ever forget about significant others like this.
loverage21 Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Hey everyone, See another example of what I am talking about.
NYWoman Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 I never had a high school crush. My first love was an older man, in his 20's, when I was 19. I chased him, but he wanted nothing to do with me being so young. But I did not give up, and being extremely good looking, I finally caught and married him three years later. The man was all man and a maestro in bed, but what did I know as he was only the fourth man I had been with. Getting into the work force I found that I could have about any man I wanted. My Ex caught me, and walked away forever. I remarried and 20 years later divorced and moved back west with my mother where I had met my first EX. In searching for a new home I found my dream home, but it was not for sale. Two years ago at Christmas, after not seeing my first for almost 30 years, while out having Mexican food with my son and grandkid, guess who walked in with a good looking blonde. He still looks great, it broke my heart what I threw away. Two night later, when taking my grandson out to look at Christmas lights, I discovered that my dream house had a new owner. That blonde is screwing my husband in my dream house.
d0nnivain Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Of all the guys I ever loved, I can't even tell you who I would classify as my 1st love. It was that unimportant to me.
Author NewLeaf512 Posted December 5, 2015 Author Posted December 5, 2015 I never had a high school crush. My first love was an older man, in his 20's, when I was 19. I chased him, but he wanted nothing to do with me being so young. But I did not give up, and being extremely good looking, I finally caught and married him three years later. The man was all man and a maestro in bed, but what did I know as he was only the fourth man I had been with. Getting into the work force I found that I could have about any man I wanted. My Ex caught me, and walked away forever. I remarried and 20 years later divorced and moved back west with my mother where I had met my first EX. In searching for a new home I found my dream home, but it was not for sale. Two years ago at Christmas, after not seeing my first for almost 30 years, while out having Mexican food with my son and grandkid, guess who walked in with a good looking blonde. He still looks great, it broke my heart what I threw away. Two night later, when taking my grandson out to look at Christmas lights, I discovered that my dream house had a new owner. That blonde is screwing my husband in my dream house. Wow that is crazy
understand50 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 I am lucky in that I married my first love, so I never have had to have regrets about the "one that got away". I think, when love does not work out, one would always think about what they could have done better or differently, but I think that pining for the "one that got away" is not healthy. Being with who is you love and who is loving NOW is what you should look too and hope to keep going. My 2 cents......
loverage21 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 Being with who is you love and who is loving NOW is what you should look too and hope to keep going. My 2 cents...... But realize this, I don't want a girl to stay with me because she feels she SHOULD. If she doesn't feel it, she doesn't feel it. Sometimes, even we ourselves cannot consciencely control who we have feelings for. It is either there or it isn't. It goes back to the fact you can be committed to someone yet not love them. It is called an "empty relationship". I know that is sort of an oxymoron because you can't really "relate" to someone you don't have feelings for. But what I mean is that some people are together as bf/gf or husband/wife and label themselves as such when there is a disconnect. I don't want someone to be with me for the sake of a marriage or relationship and not for the sake of me.
Author NewLeaf512 Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 But realize this, I don't want a girl to stay with me because she feels she SHOULD. If she doesn't feel it, she doesn't feel it. Sometimes, even we ourselves cannot consciencely control who we have feelings for. It is either there or it isn't. It goes back to the fact you can be committed to someone yet not love them. It is called an "empty relationship". I know that is sort of an oxymoron because you can't really "relate" to someone you don't have feelings for. But what I mean is that some people are together as bf/gf or husband/wife and label themselves as such when there is a disconnect. I don't want someone to be with me for the sake of a marriage or relationship and not for the sake of me. That's not first love though
loverage21 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 That's not first love though What does that have to do with anything? Love can very well be an illusion. Really, it is a chemical process in the brain.
Got it Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 Oh Newleaf, not you too? Can I forget my first love? No, I married him. I also divorced him. So not the rose tinted memories that you seem to have. Remember after awhile you are painting more of a fantasy in your head than the actual reality of it. And yes, my second love has been far greater, stronger, and more intense and still continuing to build.
2.50 a gallon Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 My first real love was my Ex-fiancé. We were together for about 3 years, even lived together at times. We were very much in love and became engaged about a year after our first date. Enter her just divorced sister, who was determined to break us up as she did not want her younger sister marrying a gringo. Her sister was a constant pain, lying, whatever it took to throw our relationship into turmoil. The Ex kept pressuring me to set a date, which I refused to do until we got things settled with her sister. She finally gave up and broke up with me, and quickly moved out of town. About a year later, she moved back and we ran into each other at a disco club. I still had my old phone number and within a day or two she began calling, wanting to once again explore what we had thrown away. I was once again back into a happy bachelorhood, I had given up on all of the women in the world for just her once. I was no longer willing to give up my multiple sex partners. Forty years later she still has a soft spot in my heart, I truly hope she has had a happy life. But from what I have learned, it has not been so happy, she married a Asiatic, which really set off her sister. They are now divorced, and like me she never had the kids we were planning of having.
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