al9301 Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 Been talking to this really cool, funny girl for days via text, been getting on really well. Met in person lots of smiling and fun, and spoke about everything under the sun. She mentioned she was stressed with her dissertation, and kept on thinking about, saying she hasn't been doing much work on it for weeks, and its due in the next few months. Said our goodbyes, she said hope to see you soon again or something like that. I texted her earlier (4 or 5 hrs ago) saying had a good time too, and good luck with her reading. Heard noting. Is she busy or not interested?.
Oregon_Dude Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 Only time will tell, friend. Don't text her again until you hear back. IME, even genius girls working on dissertations will text you back within 15 minutes if they like you. They can't help themselves. 1
Author al9301 Posted December 4, 2015 Author Posted December 4, 2015 Only time will tell, friend. Don't text her again until you hear back. IME, even genius girls working on dissertations will text you back within 15 minutes if they like you. They can't help themselves. Hmm, usually took her a hour to reply (that was from the start prior to meeting up). So strange, she said hope to see you soon when she was leaving, if she lost interest.
Oregon_Dude Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 So strange, she said hope to see you soon when she was leaving, if she lost interest.They say all sorts of things they don't mean. For example, the woman I'm seeing who told me she "takes things really slow" just had sex with me on the third date. Which isn't that slow, IMO. Pay attention to what women do, not what they say. 1
SwordofFlame Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 Pay attention to what women do, not what they say. Absolutely agree. Some women are incapable of being mean and are always nice regardless if they actually like you or not.
kassy Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 try not to worry about it. She either does or doesn't want a date and you'll know soon enough. (Easier said than done I know!)
oberkeat Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 The last woman I attempted to date did this. No wonder some women are single: they're too busy playing games and rejecting guys that are putting forth the effort to date them.
kassy Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 The last woman I attempted to date did this. No wonder some women are single: they're too busy playing games and rejecting guys that are putting forth the effort to date them. The last guy I went on a date with did this too... It goes both ways! Hey they might have meant it at the time and changed their minds. Doesn't matter, it's a first date, however they communicate a lack of interest still get you to the same place. They don't owe you a big explanation after one date
Xiomn Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 This just reminded me I haven't worked on my dissertation in over 3 months and it's due in a few months, thanks for the stressful image OP. In all seriousness calm down with the texting man.
newt Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 From my experience, a sign of interest is when she calls or text when she arrives home. The ones I never spoke to again are the ones who did not contact me once they arrived home the same night as the date
LilaMarie Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 I wouldn't have replied to that either bc you didn't bother mentioning hanging out again. I would have assumed you were just being courteous and not interested in me. But that's just me.
newt Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 I wouldn't have replied to that either bc you didn't bother mentioning hanging out again. I would have assumed you were just being courteous and not interested in me. But that's just me. But he did say he had a good time so that usually means someone wants a second date.
Author al9301 Posted December 5, 2015 Author Posted December 5, 2015 Its been 24 hr now. Lost interest or should I write her a new message with something else?. So strange, she appears interested..
xcupid Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Your text to her was weak. Ask her out again. Then you'll know if she wants to see you again.
newt Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Its been 24 hr now. Lost interest or should I write her a new message with something else?. So strange, she appears interested.. I think you should call and set up a date
Rydo Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 She isn't interested. If she was it wouldn't matter if you text her in binary she would have replied.
Empyrea Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Been talking to this really cool, funny girl for days via text, been getting on really well. Met in person lots of smiling and fun, and spoke about everything under the sun. She mentioned she was stressed with her dissertation, and kept on thinking about, saying she hasn't been doing much work on it for weeks, and its due in the next few months. Said our goodbyes, she said hope to see you soon again or something like that. I texted her earlier (4 or 5 hrs ago) saying had a good time too, and good luck with her reading. Heard noting. Is she busy or not interested?. That text doesn't really require a reply, though. It's sounds like you giving her your blessing to go work on her dissertation and to speak later. Give it a rest for a bit, she'll text you when she has time to chit chat and THEN you can ask her out. Or she won't and you can take that as not interested.
Author al9301 Posted December 5, 2015 Author Posted December 5, 2015 That text doesn't really require a reply, though. It's sounds like you giving her your blessing to go work on her dissertation and to speak later. Give it a rest for a bit, she'll text you when she has time to chit chat and THEN you can ask her out. Or she won't and you can take that as not interested. My exact words were "I had a really good time, hope you had to. That accent of yours is pretty charming . Forgot to say good luck with your reading. I didn't mention everything in the first post, not sure if it makes much of a difference now. Its pasted 24 hrs now, since I texted her. Has she lost interest or just busy or?. Should I text her with something else like - hows your day been?.
Empyrea Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 24 hours is really not enough to be able to tell if she lost interest or if she's really busy. Rather try to judge by your date - did she appear to have a good time? Laugh a lot? Eye contact? Maybe even touch your arm a little bit? In any case, definitely don't text her for a couple days. Give her time to wonder, and miss you, and actually get some reading done..
Author al9301 Posted December 5, 2015 Author Posted December 5, 2015 we went from really chatty with silly comments to noting after that date. During the date there was lots of eye contact, laughing and chattier.
Myragal Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Your text was fine but incomplete. You could have added something like 'I really look forward to seeing you again and I really, really hope you feel the same'. Be explicit in what you want. Texts can be ambivalent. Also, as a woman, if I am infatuated with a man, I want to look back on our first date with a man as a bit magical. I want him to be respectful but also indicate somehow that he's nuts about me.
Eighty_nine Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Because she's taken this long to say anything, she probably isn't interested (although it's possible she still is). What I'd do is wait another day and ask her directly if she'd like to do _____ on _____ (day). Be specific. 2
supersot Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 Be direct, and if she doesn't respond, do NOT text again. If she doesn't answer, she is not interested. "Hey, how's your day going? I'd love to check out this [insert specific restaurant/bar/music venue/whatever] Are you free TUESDAY or THURSDAY?" I mean obviously type in whatever days you're free, but give her 2 choices at least..this gives you less chance to be rejected due to her being busy, not otherwise. If you are extremely specific, rather than vague, then she either HAS to respond or...not. If she doesn't, she's not interested.
Myragal Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 I like the above two suggestions. Take control. Be specific. I don't like a man asking 'do you want to do something sometime?' Especially if we have already talked and he knows some of my interests. I like to be able to say 'yes' to a direct question and turn my brain off...let him take control the first couple dates. It's not that we gals don't do anything...I spend 2 hours trying to look 'just right'.
strawberryshortstack Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 My exact words were "I had a really good time, hope you had to. That accent of yours is pretty charming . Forgot to say good luck with your reading. I didn't mention everything in the first post, not sure if it makes much of a difference now. Its pasted 24 hrs now, since I texted her. Has she lost interest or just busy or?. Should I text her with something else like - hows your day been?. As has already been mentioned: you need to ASK HER OUT again if you want to see her again. If you don't, she will assume you aren't interested in seeing her again, and has no reason to keep in contact.
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