lch Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 Hi all, I am so lost with what is happening between me and this woman. We met about a year ago, in our mid 20's and became friends for months, hanging out a couple of times a week, texting everyday. We finally kissed after lots of flirting/touching. We kissed every time we saw each other for about a month when she told me she didn't want to be in a relationship. She works 60-70 hour weeks over 7 days and couldn't commit to girlfriend obligations like spending more time together. I said we could take things slow and I knew what I was getting in to. I avoided talking to her for a few days (told her I wanted to meet up and discuss rather than text). Next time I saw her at her work we acted like nothing happened. She made plans to meet up for a meal later that week. We had a good time, I walked her home and asked for a goodnight kiss. She immediately said yes and things continued as normal. That lasted for about two and a half months, talking everyday all day through texts but still only seeing each other about once a week. Things were going good in my eyes, I was happy and the time that we did spend together felt great full of kisses and cuddles. (no sex though). Then last week we went out for a nice dinner (she initiated plans), I paid, drove her home, then I got really aggressive with the kisses (I wanted her bad, it's been over 3 months since our initial kiss and no sex). Texting her the next day I could tell something was off. Then the day following we didnt speak at all which was OK because she was with her parents all weekend. A few more days pass and minimal contact. I text her apologizing if I made her feel uncomfortable and asked if anything was bothering her because this isn't like us to not talk. She said it's not that she's not feeling it (I presume with me) but she doesn't want to text a ton or speak to anyone. She said thanks for being there. We texted back and forth minimally that night but nothing in the following days. Here's what I don't understand. This women is always talking always texting. For the prior 11 months we have communicated in some way (facebook, phone, text, in person or a combination of all) everyday. Now she is suddenly being distant and it worries me. Not only for a potential relationship situation but as a good friend. This is way more hurtful in my eyes than breaking it off completely because I don't know what to think. We have plans for next week but I don't know. She is usually the one who initiates conversation and I can't really figure out what would compel someone to just disappear. Do I make a joke about it? get mad? wait for her to come to me and explain? I've never had someone so abruptly and blatantly cut me out before. I treated her great, with respect and care, I feel like maybe she is doing this to get me to end things so she doesn't have to which I also don't want to play into. That night during dinner we were planning a vacation together (had been talking about it for a week) and discussing Christmas plans for us together. Then the next day boom. ps confused isn't allowed in the title?
Author lch Posted December 4, 2015 Author Posted December 4, 2015 Is this in the right section? I'm new to the forum
lakerman34 Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 Interesting. If she is making plans, I wouldn't assume another guy is involved. I am KINDA in the same situation, in regards to texting. My advice would be give texting a break. This isn't COMPLETELY broken if she's still going to meet-ups and even initiating them. I'd send a text only once in a while (like every other day). Maybe as a checkup text. Relationships are, at times, power struggles. The person waiting by the phone does NOT have the power. I'd suggest letting her initiate conversations. If you feel as if the relationship continues to die down, time to face the inevitable. There is a lady out there that will get EXCITED every time she sees you've texted her. You may need to get rid of this one to allow that one to come into your life.
Author lch Posted December 4, 2015 Author Posted December 4, 2015 Because of her busy schedule I've pretty much let her make all the plans. And she is usually the one who messages me in the morning and all week nothing. We had tentative plans to go for dinner this weekend (she was going to treat me this time) but I haven't heard from her so I've assumed they are off and I made plans to hang out with the guys. As far as other guys, she has lots of male friends, has told me about them, and I joke with her about how guys are constantly hitting on her. So she has plenty of options. I've always been confident in myself that I was the best option so this has never really bothered me. If this is the way things end, the phase out is probably one of the worst ways. And how sudden it happened too. I guess I will wait until next week to contact her and see if we are still on for next Friday.
Author lch Posted December 5, 2015 Author Posted December 5, 2015 I tried talking to her via text and she was still distant and cold. She says she has been in a "leave me along mood all week". Red flag that the end is near?
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