lakerman34 Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 (edited) Hi y'all, Gonna try and keep a LOOONNNNNGGGGG story as short and sweet as possible. So, I've been seeing this girl for 6 months. It started as FWB, but has sort of evolved into a relationship. Recently, we've been fighting and the trust hasn't been there. I think she wants me to use the L word, but I haven't gotten there yet. Every fight seems like it's about to come to an end, but then we make up and the bond is strong. This Thanksgiving, I went home (up north). We kept little contact, and then I contacted her 4 times asking her if she was picking me up. No response. I came back to the city that we live in. 24 hours go by, nothing from her. Then, I call her, asking her why the hell she hasn't been responding to me. She constantly calls me selfish, and essentially told me that she needed a break from my ego. We spoke, fought, and then after a few hours of cooling down, she asks me to come over. She let me know she was still mad at me, but we hugged, and we were intimate, but not as much as we usually are. She mentions that she has been in contact with this guy who she thinks is going to be one of her "spiritual teachers" (she's very into spirituality), and she had lunch with him. When I was there, she was texting him a lot (I fought the urge to look at her phone). Next day, I text her saying that we need to talk everything over to see if this is worth it to us. She seemed relieved that I brought this up. She told me she wanted to "meditate on it" and "jot a few things down." We didn't talk for a couple of days. Then, she texts me excited to let me know that one of her favorite artists was coming in the next couple of months. I told her that was exciting. Then, a few hours later, she texted me to let me know she was going to bed. I told her that I hope she sleeps well, I'm sending good vibes her way, and I hope to see her soon. She sends me a kissy-face emoticon. Next evening, she texts me asking how my evening was. I told her it was OK. She told me she was trying to get herself together as she hasn't been taking care of herself. I tell her if she needs anything, let me know. She thanks me and says, "OH NO! WE DIDN'T WATCH OUR SHOW!" I told her 'I could come over the next day, I'm going to bed, goodnight, I love you.' No response. Next day, she sends me a FB message about psilocybin, then doesn't respond to my reply. The "I love you" kind of slipped, but I think I do. I don't know if I love the idea of her, or if absence just made me grow fonder. Also, not to mention, this "spiritual leader" guy makes me nervous. I have every intention to get on the same page with her. I don't know how though, but I think I'm going to ask her to join me in an official romantic relationship, because we haven't had that conversation yet, and I think the trust may be born from that. Thoughts on any/all of this? Move on or move forward? Edited December 3, 2015 by lakerman34
Gaeta Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 I have more questions than answers. Do you KNOW your issues are about her expecting an ILY? because it sounds like you are assuming it is and you might be off track here. Why she calls you selfish? Don't you think it's because of that she is upset at you? Why sending you something about psilocybin? How does that come into play here?
Author lakerman34 Posted December 5, 2015 Author Posted December 5, 2015 I've sensed in the past that she has wanted me to admit that I loved her, and I talked my way around it. She calls me 'selfish' because, apparently, I never show any interest in her and never ask her how she's doing. It's actually completely untrue. Quite on the contrary, everything we do is because SHE wants to do it (I'm very accommodating to her). I resent it a LITTLE, but for the time being, I'm rather alright with it. I like the food vegan/vegetarian restaurants have to offer. As for the psilocybin -- she tells me I need an "ego death." She's more into the spirituality of recreational drugs rather than their recreational "fun" use. She thinks that my taking shrooms would help me become more self-aware (even though I am already more self-aware than most).
Gaeta Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 As for the psilocybin -- she tells me I need an "ego death." She's more into the spirituality of recreational drugs rather than their recreational "fun" use. She thinks that my taking shrooms would help me become more self-aware (even though I am already more self-aware than most). Oh goodness.....spirituality of recreational drugs? *rolling eyes* I would not be able to deal with that mumbo jumbo belief. The 70's have passed and gone. Let her go through her granola phase with her new 'spiritual teacher' (Her initiation probably implies him humping her - to reach a more self-aware state:sick:
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