HeBrokeMyHeart Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 I was dating a guy a few months ago and things didn't really work out, we both just stopped speaking to each other. Then he messages me a month later, we talk for about a day and thats it. When going through a rough patch I needed some release so I messaged him asking if he wanted to hook up, he was really, really up for it and then because I couldnt meet him on the night he wanted to he got in a mood, I then messaged him a couple days after asking if he was free... no response for two days then a message saying 'maybe'. I by that point had changed my mind about the whole thing and decided against it so I didn't bother messaging back. Now 3 weeks later he randomly messages me: "Still up for sucking my dick?" "Nahh as good as that would be I can't. How's you anyways? x" First of all with the "I can't" message he is obviously seeing someone so why message me anyways? Secondly why randomly send this out the blue? We haven't even spoke for like a month! I don't get what he's playing at? I've ignored him and am not even going to reply to his ****ed up message, however if anyone can help me with what this all was about itd be great help as I am mind****ed at the moment.
Gaeta Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 Help you with what? He is insignificant in your life so why waste brain energy on it? People do that cause they're bored or need attention no more to it. 2
Samhain Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 "still up for sucking my dick?" Jeeeeee-zus! He sounds like a complete and utter tool. But since you've made it clear to him that you were down for "hooking up" he may be testing the waters to see if you still would. I agree with you that the second text makes it sound he has another girl (lucky her, she's bagged a real winner here) but it could also be an ego boost. He's checking to make sure you haven't forgotten him and hoping you're still thinking about him. 3
Author HeBrokeMyHeart Posted December 3, 2015 Author Posted December 3, 2015 Help you with what? He is insignificant in your life so why waste brain energy on it? People do that cause they're bored or need attention no more to it. Your right he is insignificant in my life, I'm way to busy to be dealing with his drama, however its been bugging me all day since I've got it, so instead of caving in and messaging him to get answers I thought id ask you lovely people! I don't care about this guy at all I just want to know what the hell he thinks he was playing at!
Author HeBrokeMyHeart Posted December 3, 2015 Author Posted December 3, 2015 "still up for sucking my dick?" Jeeeeee-zus! He sounds like a complete and utter tool. But since you've made it clear to him that you were down for "hooking up" he may be testing the waters to see if you still would. I agree with you that the second text makes it sound he has another girl (lucky her, she's bagged a real winner here) but it could also be an ego boost. He's checking to make sure you haven't forgotten him and hoping you're still thinking about him. Best thing is to ignore him right? As from just that preview of what he's like he seems like a really ****ty guy all in which I have no time for, I deserve better then that!
hippychick3 Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 Best thing is to ignore him right? As from just that preview of what he's like he seems like a really ****ty guy all in which I have no time for, I deserve better then that! Not only ignore him, but delete his number. When a man stops texting or calling you, he isn't interested and you should no longer allow him in your life. Please don't give yourself to men who haven't earned it. You are better than that and deserve better than that. 1
introverted1 Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 Don't message guys asking to hook up if you don't want to receive similar messages in return. 2
Satu Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 You need to be more particular about the kind of person you allow into your life. Aim higher.
katiegrl Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 I by that point had changed my mind about the whole thing and decided against it so I didn't bother messaging back. Now 3 weeks later he randomly messages me: "Still up for sucking my dick?" "Nahh as good as that would be I can't. How's you anyways? x" First of all with the "I can't" message he is obviously seeing someone so why . That has got to be one of the disrespectful things a guy could ever say to a woman (unless they're in a long standing relationship and that kind of "dirty talk" is normal for them)... But for him to text you that without having seen or talked to you in a month is disgusting. I can't even believe you responded at all.... ick ick ick. Agree with introverted....if you don't wish to receive disrespectful and disgusting comments like that....then don't ask guys if they want to "hook up" with you. You reap what you sow. 3
ExpatInItaly Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 Don't message guys asking to hook up if you don't want to receive similar messages in return. This. I don't get why you're so confused OP. You messaged him when you wanted action. Now he's doing the same. This isn't complicated. 1
basil67 Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 Agree with Expat and Introverted. You've offered no strings sex, so why be offended when he jokes about no strings sex?
Versacehottie Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 My guess is that he is touchy that you initiated the hookup offer at first and then "couldn't make it". Maybe he thinks you are playing games with him and his ego is hurt. That's why he came back now with the fact that "he can't". Ha! that is the funniest sh*t! Why reach out at all then?!!? Ego, he's trying to have the last word. I know it's hurts and it's is disrespectful of him. But to be fair, as introverted said, if you don't want to receive those sorts of messages don't send them in the first place yourself. Just thinking from a guy's POV, if you dated but the relationship didn't work out, but then you reach out to the guy for hookup only afterward, it's kinda just as disrespectful to him. It's like an insult: hey I don't want to date you but you are good for this one thing. Just because he was really crude in his first sentence (assuming he hadn't said the second), it's not really that different than what you did to him. Sure on the surface maybe your invite to hookup was an attempt to start the relationship back up so you think it's less offensive to him. But he doesn't know your intention. I think what he said was crude and lame but we can't only blame guys when we do the same things. Great that you haven't responded. Keep it like that and it will deflate his little ego. Good luck with the next one. 1
AspenBaldwin Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 He thinks you are desperate enough to want to have sex with him. Real question here is: Are u? 1
Omei Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 Don't message guys asking to hook up if you don't want to receive similar messages in return. Pretty much
Redhead14 Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 I was dating a guy a few months ago and things didn't really work out, we both just stopped speaking to each other. Then he messages me a month later, we talk for about a day and thats it. When going through a rough patch I needed some release so I messaged him asking if he wanted to hook up, he was really, really up for it and then because I couldnt meet him on the night he wanted to he got in a mood, I then messaged him a couple days after asking if he was free... no response for two days then a message saying 'maybe'. I by th'at point had changed my mind about the whole thing and decided against it so I didn't bother messaging back. Now 3 weeks later he randomly messages me: "Still up for sucking my dick?" "Nahh as good as that would be I can't. How's you anyways? x" First of all with the "I can't" message he is obviously seeing someone so why message me anyways? Secondly why randomly send this out the blue? We haven't even spoke for like a month! I don't get what he's playing at? I've ignored him and am not even going to reply to his ****ed up message, however if anyone can help me with what this all was about itd be great help as I am mind****ed at the moment. -- he's just checking to see if you're still there in case he decides he can. Back burner.
frus69 Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 He thinks you are desperate enough to want to have sex with him. Real question here is: Are u? Yes she is, or she won't be making a thread about it.
Redhead14 Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 I was dating a guy a few months ago and things didn't really work out, we both just stopped speaking to each other. Then he messages me a month later, we talk for about a day and thats it. When going through a rough patch I needed some release so I messaged him asking if he wanted to hook up, he was really, really up for it and then because I couldnt meet him on the night he wanted to he got in a mood, I then messaged him a couple days after asking if he was free... no response for two days then a message saying 'maybe'. I by that point had changed my mind about the whole thing and decided against it so I didn't bother messaging back. Now 3 weeks later he randomly messages me: "Still up for sucking my dick?" "Nahh as good as that would be I can't. How's you anyways? x" First of all with the "I can't" message he is obviously seeing someone so why message me anyways? Secondly why randomly send this out the blue? We haven't even spoke for like a month! I don't get what he's playing at? I've ignored him and am not even going to reply to his ****ed up message, however if anyone can help me with what this all was about itd be great help as I am mind****ed at the moment. I messaged him asking if he wanted to hook up I couldnt meet him on the night he wanted I then messaged him a couple days after asking if he was free I by that point had changed my mind She is playing with this guy . . . and he knows it and is "playing" back. He's got the upper hand though because SHE's stressing over it. I am mind****ed at the moment -- you were that way before this moment . . . like Katie said, you reap what you sow. 1
Author HeBrokeMyHeart Posted December 4, 2015 Author Posted December 4, 2015 I messaged him asking if he wanted to hook up I couldnt meet him on the night he wanted I then messaged him a couple days after asking if he was free I by that point had changed my mind She is playing with this guy . . . and he knows it and is "playing" back. He's got the upper hand though because SHE's stressing over it. I am mind****ed at the moment -- you were that way before this moment . . . like Katie said, you reap what you sow. I love how people jump to conclusions on this site. 1) I'm not desperate nor will I ever be, if I really wanted to I could go hook up with any guy I wanted to, simple fact is I don't want too. I messaged him about hooking up in a moment of despair when I needed a distraction from a lot of things that were going on in my personal life, simply wanting a bit of fun away from the stress, the fact that I was drunk most probably didn't help matters. That doesn't mean what I did was right at all, but the following days that followed that I dealt with the stress the best way I could and in fact didn't need to hook up with him for some release, nor was I keen on the idea anymore. 2) When I asked him to hook up I was never that crude. Plus people who want to have no strings attached relationships doesn't mean they should be disrespected, they are still a human and anyone who thinks they can treat someone in a bad way regardless of whats going on needs to go and learn how to be a better person. 3) I'm not playing him .... this one actually makes me laugh because I don't have the time to even date let alone put all my time and effort into playing a guy who can take a run and jump anyways. I simply changed my mind and that's as simple as it is.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 I'm still not clear as to why you're mindf---ed, so to speak. You reached out to him looking for no-strings attached hookup. He did the same, albeit crudely. He probably thought you'd be game for it, given that you asked him first. Either way, if you feel disrespected, delete his number. Then there's no chance of that happening again. 1
candie13 Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 Play with dirt and you get dirty. It's exclusively about sex, but you've turned it into something it's not, first deciding for it then going against it, then changing your mind again. This flip flop behavior doesn't change the reality: it's a meaningless sexual exchange. Whatever the reason of his random texting may be, remember the core of your interaction: it's exclusively about sex. No reason to be mindf*cked. He remembers you might give it up easily and wants some more, because between one day yes and one day no, he may still get laid effortlessly and with no strings attached, which is the main point. Some men would go into more trouble to get the same benefit and then get lost. Where's your question, again?
Zippy2000 Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 Youre still messaging a guy who wants you to suck his dick!? Shows what kind of calibre of men you got for. I mean what a gentleman and can you not see this isnt normal behaviour. Would you let someone in real life talk to you that way? NO! So why do it. It comes under sexual harrassment and if you dont nip it in the bud and block him. He`ll continue to do it with other girls. Think hard about that for a sec.
basil67 Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 2) When I asked him to hook up I was never that crude. Plus people who want to have no strings attached relationships doesn't mean they should be disrespected, they are still a human and anyone who thinks they can treat someone in a bad way regardless of whats going on needs to go and learn how to be a better person. bahahaha. Yeah, just keep telling yourself that you didn't do the same thing to him.
Versacehottie Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 bahahaha. Yeah, just keep telling yourself that you didn't do the same thing to him. Agreed. ok, OP, so you aren't desperate overall, just had a moment of "despair" otherwise known as moment of desperation. he doesn't know it was a moment. Basically reaching out to him with a general offer to hookup when the relationship didn't work out is making yourself available for a lesser offer, ie desperation. No way for him (or us) to know if it was a moment or an overall desperation. I don't think you are quite in touch with everything going on in your head because if you could just hookup with anyone, then why not do that instead of go back to him for less. I think a lot of people hold themselves with more self-esteem than that---this is where we are getting the desperate vibe from, whether it be a moment of weakness or just overall desperate. You sound just as offended by the first line of his text (crude one) vs the second (where he is taunting you). If it was the first line only, maybe that's his normal hookup, FWB dirty talk---shoot maybe it's his normal talk as a bf!! Your response of being offended by both lines, to me, show that you wanted to reignite his feelings for you and are disappointed he doesn't have feelings for you and treat you better. That's probably something you need to get used to if you offer yourself up for NSA-attached sex. I don't see why you are so surprised you offered yourself up for a hookup--most of those things go south at some point. Yours before it even materialized. Maybe if you are really looking for just a hookup you need to do it with someone you have no previous ties to. I wouldn't recommend doing it at all because I think the majority of women have a hard time separating emotions and sex but hey, do what you need to do. 1
introverted1 Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 2) When I asked him to hook up I was never that crude. Based on your op, nearly every person who's responded has seen the exchange as crude, as did the guy in question. He responded in kind. So either it's a matter of all of us (and him) "jumping to conclusions" or maybe there is something in how you approached this situation that led to the outcome.
Versacehottie Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 Based on your op, nearly every person who's responded has seen the exchange as crude, as did the guy in question. He responded in kind. So either it's a matter of all of us (and him) "jumping to conclusions" or maybe there is something in how you approached this situation that led to the outcome. hmmmm, deep thoughts. Maybe offering yourself up for hookups only to someone who previously thought of you as gf material is something that lowers a person's value in the other person's eyes and therefore he felt justified to be crude? Just a thought.
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