AlexDominico Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 Last 4 month have been hell.. I met this girl 3 month ago, had 4 dates, great sex once. She went back to Germany. Kept texting, she got a bf 1.5 month after, didnt tell me - i didnt ask, we kept texting. Tried to visit her as didn’t know she had a bf, she always said she was busy, always some excuse. Then I told her am dating a girl and she comes to London few weeks after that. She comes to london for 6 days. Her attitude was to confirm she made right decision dating that guy. First date: friendly coffee, shes really chatty, really happy, really friendly, tells me were friends. Second date: romantic walk in the park. Starts ok. Then she becomes extremely shy around me like never before, can see she’s sort of falling for me, on the way home on train shes playing with her hair and looks extremely confused. Third date – first drinks, finally we talk about people were seeing, she’s been dating guy for 2 month and am dating random girls. Looks very jealous when I tell her that. Then we ice skate, hold hands, spin around, have amazing time. Then go to a club both get drunk, dirty dance a lil no kissing. Both drunk at this point. Outside club she starts crying saying she was so sure she wants to live in Germany but after seeing me shes having doubts. Tells me she likes London a lot as we discussed before but is afraid to leave her family and friends behind in Germany. Also she has a bf. I say he doesn’t really mean much does he? she says no (not sure if shes being sincere) Says shes so confused, and had her life planned but now isn’t sure. Says she knows she needs to make a choice between the two places and two guys. Breaks down crying and hugs me for like 10 minutes then says she wants to go home. We go home, she lives few roads from me, we walk past her street she says she has to go home, am like no lets go mine. She easily agrees. Go mine. She looks very tense. At mine she says “This doesn’t make it any easier” (WHAT DOES THAT MEAN someone tell me??), then she freaks out after 2 minute and says she needs to go home. I walk her back. While hugging goodbye she cries again, we hug a lot for like 10 min, she squeezes me like kid squeeze a parent, I kiss her neck a little, then try to kiss her lips, she says “I feel bad my bf is waiting at the airport”. I say you can stop anytime, we kiss for 3 seconds then she stops. Becomes tense and goes home. (Why didn’t she kiss me for longer if she likes me that much? did she feel bad for bf? Or not into me?) Next day before flight. I set up a goodbye coffee. She looks extremely nervous and shy. Looks sad. Avoids eye contact a little, not sure because of shyness or what. Tells me she revealed too much last night (not sure what part she’s referring to). Tells me shes not sure when shes coming again. Looks a lil emotional, shy and sad at same time. That’s pretty much it. SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT IS GOING ON TO ME! PS she always tells me shes scared to get close, and she tells me shes afraid of ldr because of previous relationship. are these just excuses? or is she emotionally avoidant.
Redhead14 Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 Last 4 month have been hell.. I met this girl 3 month ago, had 4 dates, great sex once. She went back to Germany. Kept texting, she got a bf 1.5 month after, didnt tell me - i didnt ask, we kept texting. Tried to visit her as didn’t know she had a bf, she always said she was busy, always some excuse. Then I told her am dating a girl and she comes to London few weeks after that. She comes to london for 6 days. Her attitude was to confirm she made right decision dating that guy. First date: friendly coffee, shes really chatty, really happy, really friendly, tells me were friends. Second date: romantic walk in the park. Starts ok. Then she becomes extremely shy around me like never before, can see she’s sort of falling for me, on the way home on train shes playing with her hair and looks extremely confused. Third date – first drinks, finally we talk about people were seeing, she’s been dating guy for 2 month and am dating random girls. Looks very jealous when I tell her that. Then we ice skate, hold hands, spin around, have amazing time. Then go to a club both get drunk, dirty dance a lil no kissing. Both drunk at this point. Outside club she starts crying saying she was so sure she wants to live in Germany but after seeing me shes having doubts. Tells me she likes London a lot as we discussed before but is afraid to leave her family and friends behind in Germany. Also she has a bf. I say he doesn’t really mean much does he? she says no (not sure if shes being sincere) Says shes so confused, and had her life planned but now isn’t sure. Says she knows she needs to make a choice between the two places and two guys. Breaks down crying and hugs me for like 10 minutes then says she wants to go home. We go home, she lives few roads from me, we walk past her street she says she has to go home, am like no lets go mine. She easily agrees. Go mine. She looks very tense. At mine she says “This doesn’t make it any easier” (WHAT DOES THAT MEAN someone tell me??), then she freaks out after 2 minute and says she needs to go home. I walk her back. While hugging goodbye she cries again, we hug a lot for like 10 min, she squeezes me like kid squeeze a parent, I kiss her neck a little, then try to kiss her lips, she says “I feel bad my bf is waiting at the airport”. I say you can stop anytime, we kiss for 3 seconds then she stops. Becomes tense and goes home. (Why didn’t she kiss me for longer if she likes me that much? did she feel bad for bf? Or not into me?) Next day before flight. I set up a goodbye coffee. She looks extremely nervous and shy. Looks sad. Avoids eye contact a little, not sure because of shyness or what. Tells me she revealed too much last night (not sure what part she’s referring to). Tells me shes not sure when shes coming again. Looks a lil emotional, shy and sad at same time. That’s pretty much it. SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT IS GOING ON TO ME! PS she always tells me shes scared to get close, and she tells me shes afraid of ldr because of previous relationship. are these just excuses? or is she emotionally avoidant. “I feel bad my bf is waiting at the airport” 1
kendahke Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 She's got a boyfriend and a life in Germany. That's really the bottom line. The reason why she wasn't sweetness and light is because she knew she was cheating on her boyfriend with you. Do you really want to be "that" guy? Cut her loose. Block her number. Find someone who wants what you have to offer. She doesn't. Her behavior pretty much made that plain, but you were wanting what you wanted and couldn't translate. The way you would have known she was all about you was that she would have moved to the UK, she wouldn't have taken up with a guy in Germany and she wouldn't have had a severe case of the guilts the whole time she was out with you.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 “I feel bad my bf is waiting at the airport” Exactly. Nothing else matters, really 1
Maggie4 Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 What do you contribute? She went to London to see you, what have you done? She is talking about relocation, have you considered moving to Germany or at least talked about it? For ldr to work, you have to give her more to go on than just texting. She is right to find someone local. If she was just looking to cheat on her boyfriend, she would have done it on this trip. Probably she wanted to know if you have anything more substantial than hook up and texting to offer her. Meanwhile you are seeing other girls, and you've got nothing to lose. It's different for her.
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