Nimue Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 (edited) So, here's the thing... I don't understand how one can spend their time with their s/o. At least someone like me. I still live with my parents, so I can't invite someone over to do cute stuff together. I'm broke, so there's not a lot I can do outside the house either. I'm not much of a talker, so the guy has to do most of the chit-chat, which makes me feel I'm boring (I probably am) I just don't want to "hunt" for someone with a house and money, and an endless talk ability usually comes with a huge ego... The funny thing is, I've had two relatively long relationships and still haven't figured it out. For example, the talk thing. With the one guy we sang a lot to cover the awkward silence, but we didn't exactly have pro voices so I can't do this with everyone. The other guy's favorite topics were social criticism and whining about stuff, which bored me as hell after some months. What does one usually talk about? I have no idea... Getting my own house and money is on the to-do list, but I'm currently focusing on my studies... Which requires a ton of time too, so it's either following my dream or going out to meet people. And I cannot live without my dream. To make things harder, I'm shy and have ADHD, so it's hard to "play the game" (a cute guy hit on me between lessons, but I were useless in keeping the conversation going...). Maybe I'm doomed to live alone forever? Edited December 3, 2015 by Nimue
d0nnivain Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 Focus on your studies then get a job. Consider taking a Speech Comm class or joining a group like ToastMasters. Both focus on public speaking but they are great confidence builders to help you over come shyness. Join clubs & activities at school. That will expand your social circle & be a great resume builder. Find places to be relatively alone with an SO . . . like a coffee shop or park bench. The more intimate places for activities you can't do "alone in a crowd" will come later.
Vilgefoz Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 So, here's the thing... I don't understand how one can spend their time with their s/o. At least someone like me. I still live with my parents, so I can't invite someone over to do cute stuff together. I'm broke, so there's not a lot I can do outside the house either. I'm not much of a talker, so the guy has to do most of the chit-chat, which makes me feel I'm boring (I probably am) I just don't want to "hunt" for someone with a house and money, and an endless talk ability usually comes with a huge ego... The funny thing is, I've had two relatively long relationships and still haven't figured it out. For example, the talk thing. With the one guy we sang a lot to cover the awkward silence, but we didn't exactly have pro voices so I can't do this with everyone. The other guy's favorite topics were social criticism and whining about stuff, which bored me as hell after some months. What does one usually talk about? I have no idea... Getting my own house and money is on the to-do list, but I'm currently focusing on my studies... Which requires a ton of time too, so it's either following my dream or going out to meet people. And I cannot live without my dream. To make things harder, I'm shy and have ADHD, so it's hard to "play the game" (a cute guy hit on me between lessons, but I were useless in keeping the conversation going...). Maybe I'm doomed to live alone forever? I am reading your toughts. Trust me, all you just wrote is result of your melancholy, bad mood and most likely, nothing is real. When we feel bad, we think bad. You had your relationship, that means you are interesting person. Are you diagnosed with ADHD or are you just overthinking again? I assume you are young person who faces tons of insecurities. It's probably useless to talk sense to you, so just simple reccomendation: stop thinking, focus what is important. everything else will come by itself.
Author Nimue Posted December 4, 2015 Author Posted December 4, 2015 (edited) Thanks for the tips, donnivain :D Vilgefoz - I am not that young (I'm 28), BUT I've had huge social problems till few years ago, and I've spend too much time living shut in my house, so I lack experience. Now I'm a normal shy person, but I technically have the brain of a young adult on this area And I can't help but worry, since in my age I should be able to at least come up with some topics other than the cliche "where do you live-what are your hobbies-what movies do you like". Seriously, I can seem super confident when we stay on these, but afterwards I go mute! I were diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, and I weren't treated much thus suffering from heavy symptoms for many years (I mean, that's how I know the diagnosis was right) Now I'm waiting for a new diagnosis to know where I stand. It's quite more mild now, though, most of the time I can use some tricks to focus. But it did wear down both of my past relationships. Edited December 4, 2015 by Nimue
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