Lovingsomeone2013 Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 I'm looking for some insight on something and possibly how to approach it or whether it's worth approaching or not. My boyfriend and I are friends on Facebook and more recently I notice he's been on Facebook, often times coinciding with me having sent him a text and him having not responded. I brought this to his attention twice in the past and both times he had excuses. He says he's not an active Facebook user and one of the things he had said at one time when I asked him about this was that he was not on Facebook so he doesn't know why it would show that he was. I've read enough to know that the Facebook time stamps aren't always accurate, but I'm not sure how inaccurate they are either. I also have read that sometimes other websites or apps. if connected through Facebook can make you appear as though you're active on Facebook even if you may not actually be on Facebook. This is something that's highly annoying to me, but it's also something that I'm not sure how to deal with, because I want to believe that he's not always on Facebook as he says, but I'm not so sure how that would be the case if showing he is as often as it does. I'm not exactly sure the best way to handle this. I've gone back and forth with whether I think it's worth even bringing up again, or if it's something I just let go. It's not the issue of whether he's on there or not, that I don't care about, it's the fact that when I've sent him a text and he's not responded, but then I see he's active on Facebook that's what grates on my nerves.
PegNosePete Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 Stop stalking him. If you're not happy with his text response times, address that in isolation. 5
Author Lovingsomeone2013 Posted December 3, 2015 Author Posted December 3, 2015 Not stalking. It's blatantly visible when you can see the person in your chat bar to the side of your screen ... it's right there to see without having to look.
hippychick3 Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 It's really none of your business when he is on Facebook and when he isn't. You bringing that subject up is going to push him away. You will come across as a crazy girl. As pegnosepete said, address the texting you back issue separately. And if you're upset about him not responding to you immediately (rather than several hours), don't say anything. Texting is not like a phone call. People have lives that are happening while texting. 1
introverted1 Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 Not stalking. It's blatantly visible when you can see the person in your chat bar to the side of your screen ... it's right there to see without having to look. It's not stalking in the true sense of the word, but it is a little obsessive to use social media as a way to gauge whether your bf is responsive enough. He either is or he isn't; it shouldn't matter whether he's on FB. Keep in mind, too, that, if he leaes FB open but isn't using it, he will show up as online. I ended up turning off chat for all my friends for just this reason -- I'd walk away from my laptop but still appear to be "on" since I did not explicitly log out of FB. Social media is not good for relationships. 1
stillafool Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 It's not the issue of whether he's on there or not, that I don't care about, it's the fact that when I've sent him a text and he's not responded, but then I see he's active on Facebook that's what grates on my nerves. Maybe the reason he doesn't respond right away is because he is busy on FB. Just wait for him to get back to you. Does he have to respond immediately to your texts?
PegNosePete Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 ... and why don't you just send him a FB message instead? When I'm at work I can respond more easily/quickly to social media than texts because it's a window on my screen rather than getting the phone out my pocket and being obvious to everyone that I'm texting.
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 Social media is not good for relationships. Truer words have never been spoken. 1
mammasita Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 Is your text important? Do you need an answer right away? If it is, call him. If not, let it go. Sure you're not stalking him, but the behavior will come across as stalkerish.
truth_seeker Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 FB should really be for only family and friends. Once you start adding people you're dating or randoms (I don't how some people have over 1,000+ friends on Facebook) you're asking for trouble.
truth_seeker Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 Sure you're not stalking him, but the behavior will come across as stalkerish. I don't see her being stalkerish at all. More like a control-freak.
clia Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 I'm sorry, but what is the problem? You're upset he's using Facebook?
Gaeta Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 I have the perfect solution. Log OUT of FB and live your life in the real world. 2
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