bigdog93 Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 I havent talked to an old crush in almost two years and I feel bad about how things went and I want to text her to explain. heres the story below My junior year of college I had class with this girl who i thought was the prettiest girl I had ever seen. We flirted basically all semester and had different class projects to do but we would send a ton of time talking during the times we set up to do the projects, we would text really frequently just to talk. We both were in relationships at the time (she was a sorority sister of my GF but they did not know each other really) so it was just playful flirting and stuff, but we got a lot really well and I could tell she as really into me as well. I could not stop thinking about this girl, I can not get her out of my head even 2 years later. At the end of the semester, a girl who was mutual friends with my GF and the girl in my class came over (same sorority). We were drinking and she said how much the girl in my class liked me, she thought i was awesome and really hot.. I was drunk as well and told her friend i thought basically the same thing about her.. Eventually my GF found and and freaked out that I said that (which is probably reasonable considering that was a very bad/stupid thing to do) and basically made me ignore her for the last year of college/ delete her on social media etc.. Two years later I still can't get this girl out of my head. She is single now and I am on and off with my girlfriend but i believe it is ending soon. I really want to text this girl and just tell her I'm sorry for how things went. I still can't get her out of my head two years later and would love to be with her, but I'm on the west coast, she is in texas working and it just wouldn't work. Am I crazy for wanting to randomly text her just like apologizing for the situation and just tell her it has been bothering me? I literally have not really talked to her since. I would see her sometimes parties but my GF was always there and would freak out if I tried to go talk to her or something, but we would make eye contact from across the room and stuff. Would it be really weird if I texted her? Only thing is that I can't stop thinking about her but idk if she feels the same way or doesn't even think about it anymore.. I feel like if i texted her it would give me some closure on the situation, but I don't want to come across as weird.
MiddleManMike Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 I would find it weird if somebody texted me 2 years after something happened to apologize. Then again I do not need apologies from people they are just words. Actions speak louder Just my 2 cents 1
Versacehottie Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 I havent talked to an old crush in almost two years and I feel bad about how things went and I want to text her to explain. heres the story below My junior year of college I had class with this girl who i thought was the prettiest girl I had ever seen. We flirted basically all semester and had different class projects to do but we would send a ton of time talking during the times we set up to do the projects, we would text really frequently just to talk. We both were in relationships at the time (she was a sorority sister of my GF but they did not know each other really) so it was just playful flirting and stuff, but we got a lot really well and I could tell she as really into me as well. I could not stop thinking about this girl, I can not get her out of my head even 2 years later. At the end of the semester, a girl who was mutual friends with my GF and the girl in my class came over (same sorority). We were drinking and she said how much the girl in my class liked me, she thought i was awesome and really hot.. I was drunk as well and told her friend i thought basically the same thing about her.. Eventually my GF found and and freaked out that I said that (which is probably reasonable considering that was a very bad/stupid thing to do) and basically made me ignore her for the last year of college/ delete her on social media etc.. Two years later I still can't get this girl out of my head. She is single now and I am on and off with my girlfriend but i believe it is ending soon. I really want to text this girl and just tell her I'm sorry for how things went. I still can't get her out of my head two years later and would love to be with her, but I'm on the west coast, she is in texas working and it just wouldn't work. Am I crazy for wanting to randomly text her just like apologizing for the situation and just tell her it has been bothering me? I literally have not really talked to her since. I would see her sometimes parties but my GF was always there and would freak out if I tried to go talk to her or something, but we would make eye contact from across the room and stuff. Would it be really weird if I texted her? Only thing is that I can't stop thinking about her but idk if she feels the same way or doesn't even think about it anymore.. I feel like if i texted her it would give me some closure on the situation, but I don't want to come across as weird. ok, sigh here's the thing if you want your apology to hold any legitimacy, you need to get things sorted out with your current gf. To say, 'I'm sorry I blocked you on social media and stopped talking to you--my girlfriend made me do it or I did it out of respect for my gf".....and then the reality is that you are still with your gf, you will sound like a flake, not truly sincere and kinda full of it, wishy-washy, dishonest, whipped and like an opportunist at the same time. Basically it's not cool. You can't cover your bases and have this girl lined up for something in the future with what you've already done to her and coming at her under these circumstances. Do you really want closure (overrated!) or more like you want to get back in good with her for something in the future? I think it's the latter--especially due to the current rocky situation with your gf. The most respectful and upstanding thing you can do is break up with the gf. There is nothing there anymore. And if you were doing those things behind her back but then kinda bending to her will rather than just making a difficult but necessary decision back two years ago, you really aren't meant to be together. It sounds like your current relationship doesn't make you feel good about yourself. That's why you do dishonest things, then bend to maybe a dominating gf begrudingly and fantasize about this girl as some idealistic escape plan. So first break up with this gf. Then of course, reach out to the girl from 2 years ago, apologize and let her know why you did what you did. If your actions then and now, show respect for relationships and that you are not full of it by playing both sides, she might just accept the apology. And then things could go from there. And never, never underestimate the girl network again. The fact that you thought two girls in the same sorority wouldn't find out about your shenanigans is naive. Doesn't matter how close or not close they are. It's usually just a matter of time. Good luck 1
VeveCakes Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 1. Nothing happened, you just stopped talking. 2. You have a gf. Deal with#2, and if you still want to contact her, just say hi, but don't go into more details unless you start hanging out...which you already expressed would not happen due to distance. Time to put this one behind you.
Versacehottie Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 1. Nothing happened, you just stopped talking. 2. You have a gf. Deal with#2, and if you still want to contact her, just say hi, but don't go into more details unless you start hanging out...which you already expressed would not happen due to distance. Time to put this one behind you. Agreed with the dealing with #2 first. And yes you could just say hi, and then depending on how much you talk and how in depth you get, you can make your way around to the apology and explanation. I think it might be weird to seem like you've been pining for her when nothing "really" happened between you. Might work for a a certain percentage of girls but are you sure she's that type? Basically you need to build your friendship up with her again and the trust that goes with that. In meantime, stop being a wuss and break up with the girlfriend. 1
pteromom Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 Nope don't text her. Now - if you end up breaking up with your gf and decide to text her and try to reconnect, that's cool. But you are still with your gf, so you need to be faithful to her.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 Yes, I would find that weird. 2 years is a long time. She is probably very much over it by now, OP. Also, unless and until you are 100% single, you really don't have any business texting a former crush. Just a bad idea all around.
henderson14 Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 Some might consider it weird but not to me. I never forget a crush and have considered doing the same thing before.
todreaminblue Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 wait until you are free and clear of the relationship you are in....then try and reconnect....to not do this....is not fair on either woman..and pretty selfish.......deb 1
Laxgirl87 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 she's most likely really over it by this point and doesn't think about it. I hope you figure this out, your girlfriend def doesn't deserve this behind her back. And I would be furious if my boyfriend was doing this behind my back
SoThatHappened Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 Yeesh.. Tell a girl with whom you shared nothing of any significance that you're "sorry for how things went" two years ago? If you want her to dig deep down in her brain to remember who you are, then get creeped out by the apology while simultaneously thinking you're a spineless, pathetic, weenie... Then, yes. By all means. Text her an apology and watch your dreams come true with this girl. You have to let us know how it works out though, you know, after you two get married and live happily ever after.
thatmikeguy24 Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 hey man, I would direct message u but not sure how to on here. I went through something similar, and my girlfriend found out as well. It hurt her so bad and I felt so bad. I came to terms with the fact that sometimes a crush, even a big one, is just a crush. I wrote a letter to her as closure and kept it in a box in my room. She may not have gotten the letter but it felt good to put to words stuff that I felt at the time. I was/am dating an amazing girl, better than I give her credit for. I realized that I didn't want to ruin something so great. Often people think they'll enjoy something or someone and not, and realize oh **** it's not worth trashing what I just had. I think ur thinking this way to much, and if your still with your girl, it's not fair to her at all. Chances are the other girl after 2 years doesn't care or has moved on entirely and doesn't think about it. Take it from me, come to terms w it and move on before u make a big mistake by hurting multiple people. U may think u like someone based off of having a class together, but it's a lot easier to like someone from that distance. Basically, let it go & don't text her again. 1
daveanddave93 Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 thats really messed up man, on many levels. first, i think its extremely reasonable for your girlfriend to request that. most girls would have freaked out a lot more and demanded a lot more than what she seems to have. she probably felt real hurt and embarrassed. secondly, if ur gonna continue a relationship.. u have to either come clean to your girl, accept that you won't be getting closure over a situation that literally means nothing, or let it eat u up inside. i think your overthinking to much about this, and that if you texted her, she would be really weirded out and has moved on by now. to me it wouldn't be worth it. if ur going to be in a relationship.. you have to forgive yourself for what happened. things happen for a reason.. if you were meant to be with her, you would be. but ur not, a lot of time has passed, and i would just let it go & stop thinking so much about it.
daveanddave93 Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 the only way to ever let things go and be happy is to forgive urself without needing "forgiveness" from someone about a situation they likely have completely forgotten about by now. otherwise, u have a girlfriend who you are (emotionally) cheating on, lying to, and being deceiving with, u have a nothing situation that for some eason has morphed into a "big deal" and u have the possibility of really ****ing up everyones lives over a girl who isn't part of ur life for a reason
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