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Girl has initiated contact last three days, but has cancelled date due to sickness

fmfan08

By fmfan08
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fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

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I met this Spanish girl on an online dating website and we've had two dates, in which she has shown plenty of IOIs like touching, laughing at my bad jokes, asking me questions and getting very close to me in the cinema.

 

After both dates she has contacted me as normal, we've teased one another before I ask her out for the next date, which is always my aim when texting.

 

Last Sunday, we arranged a date for this current Wednesday. The conversation started by me pretending to read her mind, joking that she wanted to have drinks with me then take advantage of me. She replied "Well I'd like you sober to take advantage, you'll have to wait and see what happens". I then arranged place, date and time and she agreed.

 

Now, the last three days she has initiated contact, texting me stuff like "hello!! hows your day going?, "hello naughty boy!! how you doing?" and "Hi naughty ninja how r u?".

 

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Our recent texting went as follows:

 

GIRL: Hi naughty ninja how r u?

ME: I'm as cool as a cucumber :p how about you, cheeky?

GIRL: Hahahah I'm ill!!

GIRL: I got a cold!

ME: I bet this means I'll have to bring a protective mask tomorrow, so I don't catch your cold (n)

GIRL: Or maybe we could change the plans, cause I don't feel too good to go for a drink, except if it's a hot toddy in a place with blankets! Hahah

ME: I was going to take us bowling, no drinks. Should be warm in there if you're up for it, I'll bring my secret special blanket for you

 

(two hours later at 11.30pm)

 

ME: No worries anyway, we can always do this another night.. Just let me know when you're feeling better and up for it

(following morning) GIRL: Yes please! Cause I had fever last night, and I feel terrible!

 

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I should have just sent her that second text, than both, but guess because she always texts multiple times in a row to me, I wasn't bothered with two texts in a row.

 

Do you think she is blowing me off and is uninterested, or genuinely ill? I know people CAN get ill, but I've had similar problems in the past with other girls, although that was a time when I'd be chasing/acting more interested than the girl... Whereas here, this girl keeps initiating, etc but cancels.

Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

Posted
Posted
I met this Spanish girl on an online dating website and we've had two dates, in which she has shown plenty of IOIs like touching, laughing at my bad jokes, asking me questions and getting very close to me in the cinema.

 

After both dates she has contacted me as normal, we've teased one another before I ask her out for the next date, which is always my aim when texting.

 

Last Sunday, we arranged a date for this current Wednesday. The conversation started by me pretending to read her mind, joking that she wanted to have drinks with me then take advantage of me. She replied "Well I'd like you sober to take advantage, you'll have to wait and see what happens". I then arranged place, date and time and she agreed.

 

Now, the last three days she has initiated contact, texting me stuff like "hello!! hows your day going?, "hello naughty boy!! how you doing?" and "Hi naughty ninja how r u?".

 

------------------------------------

 

Our recent texting went as follows:

 

GIRL: Hi naughty ninja how r u?

ME: I'm as cool as a cucumber :p how about you, cheeky?

GIRL: Hahahah I'm ill!!

GIRL: I got a cold!

ME: I bet this means I'll have to bring a protective mask tomorrow, so I don't catch your cold (n)

GIRL: Or maybe we could change the plans, cause I don't feel too good to go for a drink, except if it's a hot toddy in a place with blankets! Hahah

ME: I was going to take us bowling, no drinks. Should be warm in there if you're up for it, I'll bring my secret special blanket for you

 

(two hours later at 11.30pm)

 

ME: No worries anyway, we can always do this another night.. Just let me know when you're feeling better and up for it

(following morning) GIRL: Yes please! Cause I had fever last night, and I feel terrible!

 

------------------------------------

 

I should have just sent her that second text, than both, but guess because she texts multiple times in a row to me, I wasn't bothered with two texts in a row.

 

Do you think she is blowing me off and is uninterested, or genuinely ill? I know people CAN get ill, but I've had similar problems in the past with other girls, although that was a time when I'd be chasing/acting more interested than the girl... Whereas here, this girl keeps initiating, etc but cancels.

 

Give her the benefit of the doubt at least. Other things are good signs. I'd reach out to her soon just to check in on her and then ask her if you can schedule another date for about a week when she should be feeling better.

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fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

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Give her the benefit of the doubt at least. Other things are good signs. I'd reach out to her soon just to check in on her and then ask her if you can schedule another date for about a week when she should be feeling better.

 

I was thinking of arranging a date from Sunday, she doesn't get her new rota until that day. I could message about it sooner, but she'll most likely make me wait until Sunday to check. Should I just banter/flirt with her until then? I was thinking about arranging a phone call for when she is free.

Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

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I was thinking of arranging a date from Sunday, she doesn't get her new rota until that day. I could message about it sooner, but she'll most likely make me wait until Sunday to check. Should I just banter/flirt with her until then? I was thinking about arranging a phone call for when she is free.

 

Eh, she's not feeling well. A few nice texts over the next few days to let her know you're thinking of her should be ok. IN one of them you can say, "hey, give me a ring when you're feeling up to it" or something like that. Leave that ball in her court. It will tell you something if she calls.

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fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

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Eh, she's not feeling well. A few nice texts over the next few days to let her know you're thinking of her should be ok. IN one of them you can say, "hey, give me a ring when you're feeling up to it" or something like that. Leave that ball in her court. It will tell you something if she calls.

 

I won't be using that as I used it in my last text to her. I will check up on her tomorrow though, to let her know i'm thinking of her, without the intent of arranging plans or a full blown conversation. I'll end contact there, until she initiates again like you say. I'll know then.

Ic1 Established Member

Ic1

Posted
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I won't be using that as I used it in my last text to her. I will check up on her tomorrow though, to let her know i'm thinking of her, without the intent of arranging plans or a full blown conversation. I'll end contact there, until she initiates again like you say. I'll know then.

 

If it's a one-way street on texts recently, it's a red flag. You need to leave it to her to show you if she's interested.

 

Her all of a sudden not responding after an excuse of being 'sick'... :eek:

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fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

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If it's a one-way street on texts recently, it's a red flag. You need to leave it to her to show you if she's interested.

 

Her all of a sudden not responding after an excuse of being 'sick'... :eek:

 

She has replied (look at OP). I guess you mean if I get no reply from now on?

Ic1 Established Member

Ic1

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She has replied (look at OP). I guess you mean if I get no reply from now on?

 

She hasn't responded since your dual texts at night, correct?

 

How long ago has it been since she contacted you, and how many texts have you sent her since her last contact?

xcupid Established Member

xcupid

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She's sick, dude. Give her a break.

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fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

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She hasn't responded since your dual texts at night, correct?

 

How long ago has it been since she contacted you, and how many texts have you sent her since her last contact?

 

Yeah she did, she replied the following morning saying "Yes please! Cause I had fever last night, and I feel terrible!"

introverted1 Established Member

introverted1

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She sounds interested.

 

Sometimes, people really do get sick.

Ic1 Established Member

Ic1

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Yeah she did, she replied the following morning saying "Yes please! Cause I had fever last night, and I feel terrible!"

 

And the following morning was how long ago?

 

If it's only been a day or two, you're over-analyzing her. She's sick, and a time out would probably wouldn't be too fun.

Ami1uwant Established Member

Ami1uwant

Posted
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You are thinking too much....

 

People at this time of yr get sick. It happens. Some seem to get sick more often.

 

There may be more concern if you hadn't met face to face and she cancelled 3 times

S.

 

You guys have met a few times and talked between dates...no worries.

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fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

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And the following morning was how long ago?

 

If it's only been a day or two, you're over-analyzing her. She's sick, and a time out would probably wouldn't be too fun.

 

This morning

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fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

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Sent her a text at midday today saying "Hope that you're feeling better. Doctor (my name) suggests drinking ten cups of tea, cuddles and a smile".

 

She replied three minutes later with "I'm feeling better, thank you :D Oh yes, I need some cuddles!"

 

Two hours later, as I was working, I sent her "Then this doctor will do a home visit, and give you one dose of cuddles..."

 

She replied four hours later with "Ooh that would be the best medicine!!".

 

I'm assuming she's taken a while to reply because she could be at work, like I was.. But my gut seems to tell me she isn't interested, whereas earlier this week I seemed positive. Maybe the cancelled date has thrown me off. They always say trust your gut.

 

Am I overthinking? Would she reply like she has if she wasn't interested, even after cancelling? I'm wondering whether to wait until Sunday, or just ask her tomorrow when she'd be next free. I know she isn't the sort to come seeking out plans, that she'd wait on me instead.

losangelena Established Member

losangelena

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I think you're overthinking things a bit, yes. Everyone's different, obviously, but I know I wouldn't respond positively like that to someone I didn't want to cuddle.

 

More than that though, it sounds to me like you're tip-toeing around a bit, trying to feel her out. But as I'm sure you've noticed, that doesn't really do much to alleviate your anxiety. I would recommend being direct. Say something like, "now that you're feeling better, I'd really like to see you again. When do you want to get together?" If she continues to be respond in a way you feel is evasive, then let it go.

 

For the record, I did that exact same thing with my ex when we first started dating. I'd gotten sick, and even when he asked if I'd gotten better, he still wasn't asking me out again, despite ALL the numerous hints I was giving him, so eventually I said, "I'm going to be in your area Tuesday night. Do you want to go out?" He said yes and we were well on our way.

 

Sure, it'd be awesome if your girl did that, but maybe you are just going to need to do it if you actually want to see her. There's no shame in wanting to see someone or to let it known that you do. Yes there's a risk in sticking your neck out, but I personally think that's better than twisting yourself sideways trying to get someone to respond in a way you want them to.

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fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

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I think you're overthinking things a bit, yes. Everyone's different, obviously, but I know I wouldn't respond positively like that to someone I didn't want to cuddle.

 

More than that though, it sounds to me like you're tip-toeing around a bit, trying to feel her out. But as I'm sure you've noticed, that doesn't really do much to alleviate your anxiety. I would recommend being direct. Say something like, "now that you're feeling better, I'd really like to see you again. When do you want to get together?" If she continues to be respond in a way you feel is evasive, then let it go.

 

For the record, I did that exact same thing with my ex when we first started dating. I'd gotten sick, and even when he asked if I'd gotten better, he still wasn't asking me out again, despite ALL the numerous hints I was giving him, so eventually I said, "I'm going to be in your area Tuesday night. Do you want to go out?" He said yes and we were well on our way.

 

Sure, it'd be awesome if your girl did that, but maybe you are just going to need to do it if you actually want to see her. There's no shame in wanting to see someone or to let it known that you do. Yes there's a risk in sticking your neck out, but I personally think that's better than twisting yourself sideways trying to get someone to respond in a way you want them to.

 

This is the answer I'm looking for. I was thinking of being direct, rather than have idle chatter.

 

Before I sent her "I wonder what mischief you've been up to today" and she's just replied "Today?? Haha I put up the christmas tree and working until late"

 

My next reply will be about arranging a date. I'm expecting her to get me to wait until Sunday for her rota though.

losangelena Established Member

losangelena

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This is the answer I'm looking for. I was thinking of being direct, rather than have idle chatter.

 

Before I sent her "I wonder what mischief you've been up to today" and she's just replied "Today?? Haha I put up the christmas tree and working until late"

 

My next reply will be about arranging a date. I'm expecting her to get me to wait until Sunday for her rota though.

 

Right, if that's the case though, then just chill out a little.

 

Just curious, are you prone to overanalyzing the beginnings of relationships?

newt Established Member

newt

Posted
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From experience, sickness and family emergency are the most popular excuses to break a date.

io2iio Member

io2iio

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If she hasnt asked for a later schedule, her interest level is low to zero

losangelena Established Member

losangelena

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From experience, sickness and family emergency are the most popular excuses to break a date.

 

Yes they can be excuses but they can also be legitimate reasons. If she's truly sick, I'm sure OP doesn't want her coughing and sneezing all over him. There's something going around right now. Two of my roommates and my therapist are all sick.

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fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

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Right, if that's the case though, then just chill out a little.

 

Just curious, are you prone to overanalyzing the beginnings of relationships?

 

Yeah, mostly because I've had my time wasted and it's usually gone nowhere.

 

My reply was going to be "i'll send out my midget ninjas to steal your christmas tree then. Now you're feeling better, I'd like to beat you at bowling.. When would you be free to get together?"

 

Should I send this or not?

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fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

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If she hasnt asked for a later schedule, her interest level is low to zero

 

At the time of cancelling, she did say "Or maybe we could change the plans", but I didn't offer an alternate date.

losangelena Established Member

losangelena

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Yeah, mostly because I've had my time wasted and it's usually gone nowhere.

 

My reply was going to be "i'll send out my midget ninjas to steal your christmas tree then. Now you're feeling better, I'd like to beat you at bowling.. When would you be free to get together?"

 

Should I send this or not?

 

 

Just send it, Jesus! Try to stop overthinking! Early dating, yes is fraught with confusion, but it should also be fun. If she says no, what exactly have you wasted in all this?

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fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

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Sent the reply for the hell of it. Got to be more direct. If it turns out that she'll have to wait until Sunday to find out, then i won't contact her until then.

 

Least i'll get my answer by the end of the weekend.

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