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How to Handle NC When There Was No Dumper


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Posted

Break up was *I guess* mutual? I didn't want it, but I initiated it. I felt that I had no choice in the matter, as the situation had become untenable. It had become a LDR because she moved away indefinitely, and there was absolutely no plan on her part and how/when we would be back in the same vicinity. So after much frustration, I ended it. To this day she says that breaking up was all on me. But then again, it's not like she fought that hard to keep us together once I did suggest it.

 

So, I read a lot about NC and it's always how the dumpee shouldn't contact the dumper, and only vice versa, but what the hell do you do in a "mutual" situation??

Posted

"No Contact" is as easy as it sounds. You simply arrange things so that you neither initiate dialogue, in any way, shape or form, nor respond to the same.

 

You don't need a role or a position. You just do it.

 

In laymen's terms, you completely ignore her.

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Posted

Right but so many people on here say it's up to the dumper to come back, with real words of change rather than breadcrumbs. I guess it's just hard to decipher who is to do that when there was no real "dumper" per se.

Posted
Right but so many people on here say it's up to the dumper to come back, with real words of change rather than breadcrumbs. I guess it's just hard to decipher who is to do that when there was no real "dumper" per se.

 

Doesn't seem like any of that is particularly relevant at this point. It's a long-distance situation still isn't it?

Posted

It doesn't matter dumped who. If you feel like staying in contact is bad for you then go NC so you can try to heal.

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Posted
Doesn't seem like any of that is particularly relevant at this point. It's a long-distance situation still isn't it?

 

Yes, it is. You are correct, it's not particularly relevant and that is how I maintain strength to remain NC. Conversation unfortunately doesn't change the fundamental situation. I guess I have my answer, really.

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