ohwell_01 Posted December 1, 2015 Posted December 1, 2015 (edited) First of all hey guys, been lurking this forum for a while and I could use a word of advice from some of the more experience guys around here This might end up a bit of a long post so sorry in advance. She's in her early 20s, I'm in my late 20s, I was single, she was in a 4 years long distance relationship with on and offs, she told me about her relationship from the beginning. We met about 2-3 weeks ago and we kinda clicked, spent a lot of time together on a daily basis since we both have a common hobby. Few days ago she got in an argument with her bf and called me to have a drink (up until this moment we both kinda knew we like each other but we didn't do anything cause of her relationship) Anyway, few beers later and we're in my apartment fooling around (nothing too serious happened the first night). The next morning, she "officially" broke up with her bf and she kept sleeping at my place for a few more days but she kept having thoughts about her bf, they kept talking, she cried a few times, **** like this.. then one morning we had "the talk" and she told me we should take it slowly, let her move on and then give it another try cause she loves her bf and whatnot.. and that was about it, the other day we met and we discussed everything, she said she got together with her bf again, she doesn't wanna give up that relationship yet even tho she's really attracted by me but she loves him too much she says... during our last talks she kept telling me our relationship wouldn't work cause we don't have many things in common, unlike with her bf, she also told me she doesn't like that I was all in from the beginning and, like I made my schedule so we could spend as much time together as possible and similar stuff (I did **** it up a bit cause I'm pretty sure I came up a bit needy but tbh all I wanted was to spend some time with her those few days since I was hoping this to happen for the past weeks I've known her and she didn't really seem to be bother by it until last moment when she decided to get back with her bf) Now... my dilemma is.. I'm not sure if I should stop contacting her or leave it like this and keep seeing her randomly. Last discussion we had she told me she's really into me but she can't/won't give up her relationship without giving it another try. Like I said, we'd bump into each other probably every 2nd day either way. I left it with her that I'd think about it and see if I wanna keep seeing her like this or we should just avoid each other. Tbh, I'd like for us to get a real chance at a relationship and I'm wondering if that can happen in the near future, we really get along great and I'm pretty sure her relationship can't really keep going considering what happened between us, she said she definitely doesn't wanna tell him about us or he'd freak out and break up instantly. Am I retarded? should I just give up and move on with my life? I do have some feeling for her which are bothering me right now considering the situation... Thing is, she was really cute and thoughtful about us and she told me from the beginning that it might not be a good idea and also that she's going to be a mess and whatnot but I tho we can handle it and get past it and have a healthy relationship Cheers and sorry for the long post again. Later edit: I should also mention I knew from the beginning that their relationship wasn't working (she made sure to let me know) and that was the only reason I kept going with it. Edited December 1, 2015 by ohwell_01
Nickr3023 Posted December 1, 2015 Posted December 1, 2015 Go and read my first post. I actually just posted to it just now so it should be near the top...it's called "moving on". I was in a very similar situation. I didn't think I was a rebound because it felt "different". It wasn't different.
LostOnes05 Posted December 1, 2015 Posted December 1, 2015 Move on bro...be friendly, but not "friends". A simple hi and bye will do at work.
Author ohwell_01 Posted December 2, 2015 Author Posted December 2, 2015 Thanks for the quick replies. Yea, perhaps giving up and moving on would be the safest and easiest choice right now, however I can't help but wonder what if :X, what if I'd stick around, perhaps she'd figure her **** out and we'd get a 2nd chance like she also mentioned at some point in fact. Thing is, even last time we met and talked about us there was a lot of IOI and kino going on, even tho she didn't let me kiss her cause she said she'd got back with her bf but still.
PegNosePete Posted December 2, 2015 Posted December 2, 2015 I can't help but wonder what if Yeah. what if. She has shown that she is perfectly happy to cheat on her boyfriend. What do you think would happen if you were to become her boyfriend...? there was a lot of IOI and kino going on The PUA talk makes it seem like you're not in this for a relationship, just to get laid? If that's the case then go ahead. Just don't get serious with her because as stated above, she is a cheater and has no morals.
Author ohwell_01 Posted December 2, 2015 Author Posted December 2, 2015 Yeah. what if. She has shown that she is perfectly happy to cheat on her boyfriend. What do you think would happen if you were to become her boyfriend...? The PUA talk makes it seem like you're not in this for a relationship, just to get laid? If that's the case then go ahead. Just don't get serious with her because as stated above, she is a cheater and has no morals. Yea, tbh I'm not really sure what I'm after either, I mean, for starters I never had a relationship, all I had were ONS and at first I tho this would be my first real relationship, I mean, yea everything was so ****ed up but we were really into each other, still are I guess... and I really wanted it to work, but after reading so much about rebound relationships these days and similar experiences I guess the chance for a healthy relationship in those circumstances is really slim... if not close to 0... Like you said, even if she didn't really cheat per se, I mean we didn't do **** until they broke up she did jump right in my arms the first night they had a small fight. Just my luck I guess, never having a relationship and the first small chance I see at one I end up being the rebound...
Erik30 Posted December 2, 2015 Posted December 2, 2015 Move on. She's keeping you on the back burner in case things don't work out with her bf. And if you do get to date her at this point, you'll definately be a rebound. If her ex would come back, she'll dump you for him in a heartbeat. She also told you that a relationship with you wouldn't work.
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