Ex boyfriend

[Lostsoul1234]

So me and my partner split up after a 2 year relationship we was both amicable about it as we just kept arguing we have been in contact and he still keeps in contact with my 17 year old son, who looked st him like a father figure.

The other night he invited me round his to chat and asked me not to tell my son as he might think we was getting back together..

I went round for a chat and he explained how he wanted to come back but not to the arguments and needed time to sort his head out because he was hurt after our break up and losing us, and wanted to make sure that if he came back there would be no rows and that we were both 109% about us both knowing that it was us we both wanted which I agreed I told him that I was just going to carry on as normal and what would be would be.

And he understood this.

He said the risk I have is that you meet somebody else I know this risk and I'm taking , I just need some time I do miss you both and love you to bits.

He asked me were I had told my son I was going and u said to a friends as we agreed not to tell him but he then said I think he should know we're u was not fair lying to him.

I did stay the night but only talking nothing more then in the morning again he said I think you should tell him were you have been.. Which has confused me as he'd already said before I went over there not to tell my son as my son wants us back together and surely he would think me staying over there the night that's what he would think.

 

Why now is he telling me to tell my son were I was when before he didn't want him knowing.

 

It's my son from previous not his child btw

[TaraMaiden2]

Seriously?

After a long discussion about you two, your future, reconciling and making this work out, all you can focus on is why he said that regarding your son...?

 

I'd be more concerned with suggesting counselling, looking at your individual behaviour patterns, effective communication, proper negotiation strategies, win-win situations and how to resolve situations amicably through loving compromise and respect for one another. All after deciding whether you believe a second chance is practical or wise.

 

But hey, that's just me...

[PegNosePete]

needed time to sort his head

What on earth does that mean?

 

Normally when someone says that, it means they are keeping you in reserve, to see if things work out with someone else first.

 

People who love you and want things to work out, don't need time to "sort their head" out. It's a delaying, smokescreen tactic.

[Lostsoul1234]

sorry it wasnt meant just about my son i just couldnt understand why he didnt want him to know then wanted me to tell him i obviously want to protect my child and not tell them as they he has been texting him about us getting back together and keeps texting my ex saying he missed him. just didnt get the ex wanting him to him to know..

 

There is no body else he cant even get his head straight about us, and i can assure you he would not do that to my son talk to him while he is hooking up with another woman, going out with his friends yes because i did use to moan about him going out so yes i agree he will obviously do that now lol

 

i am the longest serious relationship he has had so, i think its a more of a cross roads his hit stay single and party or stay in a serious relationship i think its more a fear thing rather than a lets go sleep with loads of women.

yes the rows didnt help and neither of us can go back to that we know that so time apart will show us whats important if were meant to be we will be if not then i am sure better things are ahead for both of us so yes him sorting his head out is because his hurting and confused about what he wants.

 

1. is it time to commit and be serious

2. stay single and party

 

 

like i said his never had the family unit before the holidays as a family etc his even said to me its nice to go out but sometimes i still think it would be nice for us to all be together like we use to chilling on the sofa.

 

so that tells me what his head sorting is about conflict with himself

 

so now i am leaving him be to work out what road he wants to take in life were not horrible to each other nothing bad has been said which is harder because hating someone is easier for you to get over a break up..

 

NOT all men are the same lol women need to realise this, i dont wear glasses is see things for the way they are

[PegNosePete]

i can assure you he would not do that to my son

I hate to tell you this, but that's what they all say.

 

Everyone who posts here believes their husband/boyfriend/wife/girlfriend is different, that theirs would never do that. But almost all of them are disappointed to find that where there's smoke, there's fire. And I'm afraid, there's plenty of smoke here.

[Lostsoul1234]

yes i know this i have been there before with my daughters dad

 

so if he was seeing someone else would he of asked me to go over to his and he and i knew i would stay the night lol

 

he could have just invited any girl over there lol why me lol surely that would only make things harder for him IF he was trying to move on lol

our family picture is still up on his wall which surprised me to be honest..

 

i dont think every body can be tarnished with the same brush he has NO reason to keep in contact with me or my son were are finished he could just move on to someone new..

 

last time in the beginning or our relationship we broke up and we both stopped contact straight away didnt talk nothing i moved on to someone new so did he 2 months later we both realized wrong move, and we were just using the other people to get over each other lol

 

this time his in contact well i have stopped it now...

[Lola183]

Hi LostSoul1234

 

Is there any update to your story? Yours has some similar threads to mine, I'm intrigued...