snowgirl75 Posted May 28, 2005 Posted May 28, 2005 my boyfriend and I broke up 3wks ago and I am not managing well at all. I can make it through the work day but the second I'm alone the tears start flowing. I have also been experiencing panic attacks. I have been unable to sleep normally and am not eating properly either. I can't figure out why I am so upset and hurt. We were together for over a yr. But I saw this coming for months. He suffers from depression and has been pushing me farther and farther away. He was getting counselling and I guess I just kept telling myself that it would get better but it never did. He is still in counselling. We have not talked at all since the split. A few emails here and there but now even that has stopped. It is killing me. I am constantly wondering if he is Ok, wondering what he is doing etc........................ I want to talk to him so bad. I don't understand why I am having such a hard time functioning when I've known for so long that things were not right between us. I often break out into hystirical crying fits. Everything reminds me of him. I don't have any ill feelings for him, I want him to get better and not be so depressed anymore. But I need to get better myself and I don't know how.
stargazer26 Posted May 29, 2005 Posted May 29, 2005 I know how you feel. It makes sense in your head, but it can hurt so much in your heart. It's hard to find a balance between your emotions and your logic. I struggle with the same thing and when my emotions start to take over they just completely overwhelm me. It's can be extremely painful. But remind yourself that you had that compainionship for over a year. It makes sense that you're going to feel like there's a big void now. So you weren't meant to be, but that doesn't mean you still didn't love or care about him. It was the right thing to do, but it is a loss and you are grieving. It's okay to miss him, how could you not after being together that long. If I need to cry I let myself do so, but I try not to dwell on it. Have your cry and then remind yourself of everything you can be thankful for in your life ... that you have a life! You've probably heard all this, but try to stay occupied. Do not lock yourself up in your room; that makes it so much worse. Maybe give yourself little pep talks. It sounds really cheesy, but sometimes it comforts me. I know you worry about him but maybe keeping no contact for the time being may actually be the best thing for him. I also think it might be the best for you too ... I've talked to my ex and trust me, it doesn't help. It's going to take both of you longer to move on and heal. Hopefully, he has people in his life that look out for him ... let them worry about him for the time being. Obviously he wasn't meant to be your mate, but someone else somewhere in the future is. You deserve to take this time to focus on yourself and your healing ... to getting back to the person you were before. Be strong and hang in there!
Author snowgirl75 Posted May 29, 2005 Author Posted May 29, 2005 Thanks alot for your comments. I am trying very hard to get back into my old routine, going to the gym and hang out with friends. I guess it is just really tough as we had talked about a future together and it is so hard not to think of him. I know that time will heal. I have to stop worrying about him.
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