Author JohnEarly Posted December 2, 2015 Author Posted December 2, 2015 Don't be so hard with yourself. You're doing fine. You have the control. Do you want to leave her? Do it. But I advice not immediately. Everything you can do today, you can do it tomorrow, next week, of next month. You are too pissed right now. If you go NC now, you might regret it to morrow. The best thing for you is not to take any decision in the next few days. Relax, calm down, and then you'll know better what exactly do you want. Thanks for these words man... Ill follow your advice, even if its easier said than done right :/
Friskyone4u Posted December 2, 2015 Posted December 2, 2015 John, If you had a dollar for every time "we are just friends" is a load of crap, you would be a rich rich man. She is going to find a new app to talk to him and eventually you will find they hooked up. You are young and have a long life ahead of you. Leave her in the dust and do yourself a real favor.
Confusioncreepsin Posted December 2, 2015 Posted December 2, 2015 Not to be a broken record, but please stop trying to work this out as a rational thing. Personally, I would do what I suggested before. Ask her, while in the presence of the computer, to see the FB messages. Ask her to see the phone together. WATCH and LISTEN...any excuse is bull**** (you don't trust me, blah blah blah). If there is nothing to hide, there is nothing to hide. OR Stay quiet and nice, wait for the next date and find out where and when and either show up or strategically be there early for a good seat. Take a guy friend with you so you can have an excuse to be there as well. WATCH, don't react. If nothing happens while you are watching, then half way through stop by and sit down beside her and introduce yourself nicely to the friend. Be happy and do not show any concern at all. WATCH this dynamic play out. Personally, I would just ask for the access to her fb messages and have her sit down with you while you read (if she lets you have them). Then if you are done, then BE DONE. No more contact. If you think that you can trust her ever again (which will take time) then give it another go with clear boundaries. 2
Confusioncreepsin Posted December 2, 2015 Posted December 2, 2015 BTW, I did the same thing with mine. I did a screen shot when I found her ****, then waited for something to come up and asked her. She of course, deleted them so she was like "see, nothing there". Until I pulled out the screenshot. I didn't care who the guy was, be she always said "he is just a friend" or "he is a gay friend of mine, no worry there". Yeah, BS. At that moment I walked on the basis that she LIED to me, covered up her LIE, then omitted the truth for the past year. You need to "test" if she is lying or covering up the truth since that is important to build trust. I didn't care who it was, it was WHAT she did. 1
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