ZA Dater Posted November 30, 2015 Posted November 30, 2015 Alright so my long running ambition is moving forward at about the same pace a snail moves across the ground. However K now seems to be more friendly, the e mails are less formal and she is offering up more information than she needs to. A good sign I would think. Do I keep doing this and how long do I wait before I try another friend zone type move, I really want to see her so she can see the rather radical changes I have made in appearance and general way I come across but how is the best way to do this. Her friend is saying I must definitely go for it but I am extremely nervous considering the history.
Satu Posted November 30, 2015 Posted November 30, 2015 Always and everywhere, just be yourself. You have the right to be who you are.
Qboro90 Posted November 30, 2015 Posted November 30, 2015 Give some examples of the email exchanges you're having with her and your replies. What you might see one way, some people here might view different and be able to advise your replies and wording to better achieve the results you're looking for. And stop aiming for this friend zone with her. Even if you became her friend, you're just going to feel teased and more eager to develop a romantic relationship out of her. No body likes being in the friend zone. You may think it's a step up because you've never made it that far before, but guarantee you that after 2 weeks in the friend zone you'll be thinking "****... This sucks, I definitely don't enjoy hearing her tell me about the guys she likes and goes out with."
Author ZA Dater Posted November 30, 2015 Author Posted November 30, 2015 Give some examples of the email exchanges you're having with her and your replies. What you might see one way, some people here might view different and be able to advise your replies and wording to better achieve the results you're looking for. And stop aiming for this friend zone with her. Even if you became her friend, you're just going to feel teased and more eager to develop a romantic relationship out of her. No body likes being in the friend zone. You may think it's a step up because you've never made it that far before, but guarantee you that after 2 weeks in the friend zone you'll be thinking "****... This sucks, I definitely don't enjoy hearing her tell me about the guys she likes and goes out with." Well the sense she is offering up more information voluntarily, answering questions I didn't really ask. Small steps but seeing as I have nothing else remotely interesting that gives me any sense of excitement I am happy with small steps.
Qboro90 Posted December 1, 2015 Posted December 1, 2015 Well the sense she is offering up more information voluntarily, answering questions I didn't really ask. Small steps but seeing as I have nothing else remotely interesting that gives me any sense of excitement I am happy with small steps. I don't think you follow what I'm asking. I've posed this same question to you in past threads and you reply what a general explanation of what goes on during your interactions and dates. What I'm asking it for you to literally copy/paste the exact email exchanges you and her are having. Obviously you remove your personal information or anything that you're uncomfortable sharing. But the point is giving the people here an actual real life look into what you're doing during your conversations. I have a feeling that this will be able to highlight things that you can either word differently or express in a different manner that would have a better chance of gaining the outcomes you desire. Just think of it as having your term paper looked over before you submit it to be read and graded for the teacher. You don't have to go back very far, just the most recent emails or texts, or both if you want from the time you feel like the changes you've made start to be noticeable up until now . Hoping you give it a shot. 1
StBreton Posted December 1, 2015 Posted December 1, 2015 Q ... I was just about to respond with what an artful dodger ZA is being. Come on ZA ... offer up the goods. We're here to help. Plus I want to know what is so fascinating about K in the manner she speaks and engages. 1
Author ZA Dater Posted December 1, 2015 Author Posted December 1, 2015 I don't think you follow what I'm asking. I've posed this same question to you in past threads and you reply what a general explanation of what goes on during your interactions and dates. What I'm asking it for you to literally copy/paste the exact email exchanges you and her are having. Obviously you remove your personal information or anything that you're uncomfortable sharing. But the point is giving the people here an actual real life look into what you're doing during your conversations. I have a feeling that this will be able to highlight things that you can either word differently or express in a different manner that would have a better chance of gaining the outcomes you desire. Just think of it as having your term paper looked over before you submit it to be read and graded for the teacher. You don't have to go back very far, just the most recent emails or texts, or both if you want from the time you feel like the changes you've made start to be noticeable up until now . Hoping you give it a shot. There is too much personal information in the e mails to do that unfortunately. Yes, we are working on various things together which I guess is something so basically the mails are more geared towards that, before she used to ignore my question "how are you", now she answers that. The biggest problem I have at the moment, I feel good, I feel confident, people compliment me on how I look and the changes I have made.. SHE hasn't seen me since then, you have no idea how badly I want to show off this new look but I really don't know how to do that. That part is seriously sitting on my mind and bugging me a lot.
Author ZA Dater Posted December 1, 2015 Author Posted December 1, 2015 Come on ZA ... offer up the goods. We're here to help. Plus I want to know what is so fascinating about K in the manner she speaks and engages. I'll try explain. Within 5 minutes of meeting her I wanted to date her, I am probably one of the most fussy people around and just everything impressed me and it has done each time I have seen her, just don't see her often enough! Its that feeling which I never ever had before, mostly its personality driven as opposed to lust, the personality makes me want her in that way, the way she speaks my kind of language so to speak, the fact she is different to most people in her views, interests and topics of conversation. The feeling is very special and having had it each time with her, now its all I want. The fact she challenges me intellectually, debates with me. All of that is incredibly likeable and very attractive.
StBreton Posted December 1, 2015 Posted December 1, 2015 There is too much personal information in the e mails to do that unfortunately. Yes, we are working on various things together which I guess is something so basically the mails are more geared towards that, before she used to ignore my question "how are you", now she answers that. The biggest problem I have at the moment, I feel good, I feel confident, people compliment me on how I look and the changes I have made.. SHE hasn't seen me since then, you have no idea how badly I want to show off this new look but I really don't know how to do that. That part is seriously sitting on my mind and bugging me a lot. Well if you're working on various "things" together, ask her out for coffee or tea or shots of tequila or whatever. That's good you are feeling more confident! What is this "new look" you have? A few months ago you mentioned you had spent money on clothing but that was then...what have you done lately? And I'm sure K will notice as she seems to be an observant person:)
StBreton Posted December 1, 2015 Posted December 1, 2015 I'll try explain. Within 5 minutes of meeting her I wanted to date her, I am probably one of the most fussy people around and just everything impressed me and it has done each time I have seen her, just don't see her often enough! Its that feeling which I never ever had before, mostly its personality driven as opposed to lust, the personality makes me want her in that way, the way she speaks my kind of language so to speak, the fact she is different to most people in her views, interests and topics of conversation. The feeling is very special and having had it each time with her, now its all I want. The fact she challenges me intellectually, debates with me. All of that is incredibly likeable and very attractive. Give us LSers a few examples of her views/interests/topics of conversations...please:)
Author ZA Dater Posted December 1, 2015 Author Posted December 1, 2015 Give us LSers a few examples of her views/interests/topics of conversations...please:) Ancient history, world politics, current affairs, wine, travel, literature, movies she, like me, likes to write. She speaks beautifully from a vocab point of view. She has wide interests and views, the body of a 24yo and the mind of a 35yo
Author ZA Dater Posted December 1, 2015 Author Posted December 1, 2015 Well if you're working on various "things" together, ask her out for coffee or tea or shots of tequila or whatever. That's good you are feeling more confident! What is this "new look" you have? A few months ago you mentioned you had spent money on clothing but that was then...what have you done lately? And I'm sure K will notice as she seems to be an observant person:) Well my hair style is significantly different, 10/10 people think it looks good and is a vast improvement. Apparently it softens my face a lot, in fact some people didn't initially recognize me. K has not seen this new hair style yet. I am also working out, building some more muscle tone and that is going quite well, seeing results there, again people are complimentary of that. Again she hasn't seen that either. Mostly I am feeling burnt from the last time she rejected my overtures, which is making me extremely hesitant, because I would need to ask via e mail and I feel that is likely to not work, for this to work I need to ask face to face. Guess I can try run into her at some of the more popular places but I just want this to work now more than ever.
Qboro90 Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 Ancient history, world politics, current affairs, wine, travel, literature, movies she, like me, likes to write. She speaks beautifully from a vocab point of view. She has wide interests and views, the body of a 24yo and the mind of a 35yo Cmon man why are you so evasive and vague when people ask you about the actual details? This is the 1 thing that you could elaborate on where people here can take a peek inside your interactions with her and give you real world advise or suggestions on what to do more of, less of, word differently, etc. I asked you to share the email exchange between you and K. You said there was too much personal information in it. There's no need to include that information.. And you can simply edit the parts you feel are "too personal" and change the names or nature of it so you'd feel less exposed. Not that it would matter anyways, this is a completely anonymous forum so no ones interested in trying to invade your personal life in reality. Even if you don't want to share this email exchange. Share past ones where you've interacted with her or show the one where you asked her out via email before. Or show the messages you've had back and forth through Online Dating and dating sites... Show something other than the vagueness you give when asked specifics. It's not doing you any good and just keeps going in circles . Stbreton asked you to explain examples of what you and her talk about and the nature of your conversations to which you replied with general topics that anyone who reads a newspaper could talk about. What is different about these conversations exactly. How does she challenge you intellectually? What does she say exactly that does this. Is she smarter than you? Does she stump you with questions she asks? Details please so we can finally get past this stagnant discussion and really make headway. Because to be perfectly honest, a new hair cut and "toning up" isn't going to suddenly open her eyes to your romantic potential. It's the communication and how you carry yourself that will.
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