mortensorchid Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 I'm turning 41 in a few weeks. I do not sit here and lament over my bad track record or the bad timing that seems to have happened to me over the years. If anything, I realize that the relationships I have had, be they long or short term, I was lucky to have been broken up with or treated badly by these men - because they rebounded to another woman barely 6 months to a year later and married them and it turned into a total train wreck for them. It wasn't right for whatever reason, they made their choices, it was nothing I did or said to make it bad. I have read a lot of these things in dating guides that say if you want to be loved, you have to love yourself. You have to feel good about yourself and knowing that you deserve it and never loose hope that someday, somehow it too can happen to you. Well, without sounding arrogant, I believe that. THe problem is finding a man who also loves himself, has hope and deserves to be with me just as much. I have a wonderful life, great friends and so much to be happy about except for love. Seems like no matter how much I have tried, everything has failed or ended up in a train wreck. What do others think? Am I wrong to think this way? They keep saying that it will happen to you when you least expect it, but I'm tired. How soon will then be now?
xxoo Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 I have read a lot of these things in dating guides that say if you want to be loved, you have to love yourself. You have to feel good about yourself and knowing that you deserve it and never loose hope that someday, somehow it too can happen to you. Well, without sounding arrogant, I believe that. THe problem is finding a man who also loves himself, has hope and deserves to be with me just as much. . I do believe that. I've found that, personally, I am drawn to people who are also like that. If you have a history of being attracted to men who aren't like that, what are the traits attracting you to the wrong men? 4
smackie9 Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 I agree with the above post......you are following a pattern....you need to figure out what that pattern is in order to stop and correct it. 2
xcupid Posted November 30, 2015 Posted November 30, 2015 Sounds like your "picker" is off and you're choosing the wrong men. If you're tired of dating/searching take a break and recharge your batteries. There is no answer to your question unfortunately but things are more likely to happen when you're committed to finding and actively searching for a quality man.
Author mortensorchid Posted December 1, 2015 Author Posted December 1, 2015 I wish the quality of men is/was better than it has been. There are times when I think the good ones are all gay anyway, then I think "You must not think that or you will never find one - ANYONE - who likes you". So I guess I have to never loose hope that it will someday, somehow happen.
lilmissjava Posted December 1, 2015 Posted December 1, 2015 I feel the exact same way. All aspects of my life are just what I have always wanted it to be. My kids are grown now, my career is great, I am who I have always wanted to be and I truly feel it is my time now. The world is my oyster? No, more like a scurrying crayfish the way my love life has been going. I don't seek anything but truth, honesty and respect. I am wondering if these values are even taught anymore. Alas, I am to be patient, just like everybody else
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