MillionThoughts Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 Hi all. I would appreciate your opinions. I was dumped after an almost 2.5 year relationship at the end of the summer by my ex-boyfriend shortly after moving out together who claimed he was unhappy & that we did not ultimately have the same goals. Fine. Breakups happen, I get that; naturally I was hurt so I went NC almost immediately (after a week). Shortly after the breakup but right before NC we had briefly met to talk where I kindly requested that he at least return to me half of the deposit I had paid on the new place when he eventually moved or even before then..he agreed. After leaving the meet-up in hindsight I realized I did not even want it anymore as I felt too emotional and having met-up was a bad idea. He attempted to contact me 3 times following NC which I ignored. Well he texted me today saying "Hey" to which I finally responded feeling/thinking I had gotten past the breakup. It has been just about 90 days of NC. While my response was brief ("whats up") he asked if I was free (responded "I am not") to which he reminded me about the deposit I long forgot about and to let him know when I was free. I never responded after that, the text just reaffirmed why I began NC in the first place-that I wanted nothing to do with him. I do not harbour feelings for my ex anymore but there were a lot of things left unsaid on my end and I have a tendency to internalize my thoughts and think too much. Should I just have told him I don't want the money and to lose my number? Or should I reapply NC and continue to ignore his texts for the time being? what would you do? I will do what I ultimately feel I can handle but I figured I need some diferrent perspectives from you to help evaluate the situation. TL;DR Ex wants to give me back something I asked for which I decided I didn't want anymore besides the fact I never want to see his face again.
Blanco Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 This is something that could be mailed, correct? Ask him to mail it. Once you get it, either block his number or continue to ignore his texts.
Samhain Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 Never say anything to him again. You're already at the place whee that's what you want. Forget him.
marky00 Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 Hi all. I would appreciate your opinions. I was dumped after an almost 2.5 year relationship at the end of the summer by my ex-boyfriend shortly after moving out together who claimed he was unhappy & that we did not ultimately have the same goals. Fine. Breakups happen, I get that; naturally I was hurt so I went NC almost immediately (after a week). Shortly after the breakup but right before NC we had briefly met to talk where I kindly requested that he at least return to me half of the deposit I had paid on the new place when he eventually moved or even before then..he agreed. After leaving the meet-up in hindsight I realized I did not even want it anymore as I felt too emotional and having met-up was a bad idea. He attempted to contact me 3 times following NC which I ignored. Well he texted me today saying "Hey" to which I finally responded feeling/thinking I had gotten past the breakup. It has been just about 90 days of NC. While my response was brief ("whats up") he asked if I was free (responded "I am not") to which he reminded me about the deposit I long forgot about and to let him know when I was free. I never responded after that, the text just reaffirmed why I began NC in the first place-that I wanted nothing to do with him. I do not harbour feelings for my ex anymore but there were a lot of things left unsaid on my end and I have a tendency to internalize my thoughts and think too much. Should I just have told him I don't want the money and to lose my number? Or should I reapply NC and continue to ignore his texts for the time being? what would you do? I will do what I ultimately feel I can handle but I figured I need some diferrent perspectives from you to help evaluate the situation. TL;DR Ex wants to give me back something I asked for which I decided I didn't want anymore besides the fact I never want to see his face again. This is why guys are scared to end relationships. It seems quite a few women dumpees become quite stoic after breakups and after some time the male dumper can feel like the dumpee when his ego gets damaged post breakup. Your officially a dumpee but your are talking like a dumper.
Blanco Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 This is why guys are scared to end relationships. It seems quite a few women dumpees become quite stoic after breakups and after some time the male dumper can feel like the dumpee when his ego gets damaged post breakup. Your officially a dumpee but your are talking like a dumper. You say that as though it's a bad thing.
lchf Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 Why do you have to see his face to get money back? What's wrong with an internet transfer? Just get the money back then reapply NC, not that complicated.
marky00 Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 You say that as though it's a bad thing. ????? I never said thats a bad thing. I was pointing out her feelings and position is quite common, She shouldnt be concerned.
Meli22 Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 If you really want the money then just ask him to mail it. If you genuinely don't care about it, just ignore him. And congrats on your progress
lchf Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 Mailing cash is never a good idea. If you must use the mail get him to mail a non-transferable cheque, or use the internet.
AspenBaldwin Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 (edited) Can't you send someone to get the money back? That way you don't have to face him again. You are lucky you don't have kids otherwise you wouldn't be able to escape his claws so easily. Edited November 29, 2015 by AspenBaldwin grammar
Author MillionThoughts Posted November 29, 2015 Author Posted November 29, 2015 Thanks for the input guys. I had decided long ago didn't want the money (actually had totally forgotten about it) hence why I have not retrieved it thus far. I only responded to try and move past the silence of NC and be more amiable in regards to the future. He was still a heartfelt guy who never mistreated me during the relationship. Guess I just needed some help sorting out my thoughts so that I wouldn't have to spend an extended amount of time dwelling it, but I will be back on NC. This is why guys are scared to end relationships. It seems quite a few women dumpees become quite stoic after breakups and after some time the male dumper can feel like the dumpee when his ego gets damaged post breakup. Your officially a dumpee but your are talking like a dumper. A solid perception, in a nutshell. I'm observant by nature so I take life experiences for what they are....that's not to say the break-up didn't sting (at least for awhile). Although I cherished my relationship, even from my short dating history I know when I should not let a break-up get in life's way. However, if it has affected him more than it affected me...well then...that's unfortunate since he was the one who wanted to end it. In the end that I wouldn't know
Wewon Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 Tell him that you appreciate his effort and just to mail it to a particular address when he's ready, then go no contact.
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