BC1980 Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 No, the only time we talked about this was about 2.5 months after dating. I asked what he's looking for/ what are we. He said he doesn't like to use labels and they put a lot go self induced pressure on him and he's not sure why/ couldn't explain it. I asked if he just wanted something casual/ hooking up and was clear I didn't want that. He said he didn't want that either, and he would be out of the relationship a log time ago if he sensed I wanted that. I asked if we were exclusive ( at this 2.5 mark)and he told me he hasn't been dating anyone else and isn't a fan of multi dating. I confirmed so you won't date anyone else? If you do you will tell me and this will be over then? And I also confirmed that would be no sex with anyone else right? I pointed out how confused I was bc all this is the same as a gf but for whatever reason the label was " too much". I asked if he would one day bring it up to call me his gf? And he said yes and also said if I am ever anxious or insecure about anything for me to bring it up. Time to bring up labels again? I'm sure he enjoys spending time with you, but he's not in love and not willing to be your BF. That old excuse about not liking labels is so lame. I think being worried about a text is a symptom of a bigger problem. Just because he said he isn't actively dating others or sleeping with them does not mean he wants to commit to you. If you are okay with this setup, that's fine. But I can't see this turning into more than it already is. Not friending you on FB is weird. Definitely weird.
mattelipstick Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 I asked if we were exclusive ( at this 2.5 mark)and he told me he hasn't been dating anyone else and isn't a fan of multi dating. I confirmed so you won't date anyone else? If you do you will tell me and this will be over then? And I also confirmed that would be no sex with anyone else right? I pointed out how confused I was bc all this is the same as a gf but for whatever reason the label was " too much". I asked if he would one day bring it up to call me his gf? And he said yes and also said if I am ever anxious or insecure about anything for me to bring it up. Time to bring up labels again? What you described here is not the same as a girlfriend/committed relationship. It's an arrangement, sure -- but a forward-moving relationship, no. I think on a gut level, you KNOW what you have is lacking, which is why you keep trying to force the things that come naturally when two people are in a committed, progressing relationship.
mattelipstick Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 I don't buy this. From the way you post about this guy, I think you'd love to introduce him to your parents. I think the reason you haven't and think it would be awkward, Is that deep down you know what his response would if you asked him to meet them.......... Agree. You aren't ready for him to meet your parents, but you started a thread about being ready to meet his mom? At least be honest with yourself, OP. I think you'd love to introduce this guy to your parents. And if you aren't afraid of his response, perhaps the issue is that you wouldn't want to be pressed by your parents about why you're in this limbo after 6 months.
mattelipstick Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 I'm personally not really interested in meeting the mother just yet. From what he's told me about his family, there are some crazy relatives ( who doesn't have them) which he actively avoids. I'm not sure how the rest of them are... But I believe more " normal". Um, you have a whole thread on here about wanting to meet his mother. o_O This is an exercise in futility until you decide to be honest with yourself.
Gaeta Posted November 30, 2015 Posted November 30, 2015 No, the only time we talked about this was about 2.5 months after dating. I asked what he's looking for/ what are we. He said he doesn't like to use labels and they put a lot go self induced pressure on him and he's not sure why/ couldn't explain it. I asked if he just wanted something casual/ hooking up and was clear I didn't want that. He said he didn't want that either, and he would be out of the relationship a log time ago if he sensed I wanted that. I asked if we were exclusive ( at this 2.5 mark)and he told me he hasn't been dating anyone else and isn't a fan of multi dating. I confirmed so you won't date anyone else? If you do you will tell me and this will be over then? And I also confirmed that would be no sex with anyone else right? I pointed out how confused I was bc all this is the same as a gf but for whatever reason the label was " too much". I asked if he would one day bring it up to call me his gf? And he said yes and also said if I am ever anxious or insecure about anything for me to bring it up. Time to bring up labels again? OMG Sweetie you're gonna fall from so far high. Six months dating and still not bf-gf, not friends on FB, not meeting family.... Here is some reading for you; 12 Reasons Why He Won't Call You His Girlfriend | Julie Spira
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