JohnsonBaby Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 (edited) Me and this guy have been having a long winded connection with benefits lasting on and off a couple of years with a couple of future faking" moments. Anyway ,we casually met yesterday at the mall and kissed and hugged each other for a long time. He was leaving for w business trip so I texted him asking him if he made it safe ,he replied "yes thank you,by the way I have a guest over,if you see Lucy coming out my house don't get alarmed and she and I are just friends nothing more" (without me asking) saying he knows me too well. This Lucy is a new entry (lol) never heard of this "friend " before . We ,akwardly met once whil she was going to his house in the afternoon and "Needed a place to crash for the night as she had a meeting the next day " again he texted "in case you thought it ,she s just a friend " . Ok so having said all this I have to mention that we live very close to each other , when he had a gf he claimed her and dint disguise her as a friend . We kept in touch when he had a gf but never done anything as he s faithful once committed . I saw him with a different chic last weekend . Do you guys think there s something more between them ? Why does he feel the need to justify himself to me when I didn't ask who she was in the first place ? Edited November 28, 2015 by JohnsonBaby
basil67 Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 Why does he feel the need to justify himself to me when I didn't ask who she was in the first place ? It's because he "knows you too well". I take this to mean that in the past you have asked him about other girls and he's just pre-empting the question from you. As to whether or not something is going on between them, who knows. Might be just a friend - might not be. Do the two of you have an agreement to be exclusive? 2
Author JohnsonBaby Posted November 28, 2015 Author Posted November 28, 2015 It's because he "knows you too well". I take this to mean that in the past you have asked him about other girls and he's just pre-empting the question from you. As to whether or not something is going on between them, who knows. Might be just a friend - might not be. Do the two of you have an agreement to be exclusive? No we don't . He knows I have strong feelings for him and for a while he seemed to be wanting to give it a shot inviting me out calling me "sweet" names but then it stopped abruptly . I asked him if there was another woman he said no and that he s being distant with other people as well. Since we re not together he doesn't really owe me an explanation to who that girl is . It seems like he s trying to save all his little flings until he makes a decision. I don't know about you guys but I think inviting someone to your house when you re not there is something you do with someone you love and trust . Am I reading too much into this ?
sandylee1 Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 You're too emotionally invested to continue in this situation. You either need to detach or accept whatever he tells you.... So are you both free to date others? Sleep with others? 2
Madame_Noire Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 HMMM... me personally, I would not be a F*ck buddy to anyone. It leaves room for insecurity and paranoia. I think maybe there is something going on with this girl because he gave you the spiel about this Lucy. It sounds like you two are not exclusive, so he do who or whatever he wants. I think you are falling for him though because you mentioned about the long embrace you had at the mall.
Author JohnsonBaby Posted November 28, 2015 Author Posted November 28, 2015 (edited) You're too emotionally invested to continue in this situation. You either need to detach or accept whatever he tells you.... So are you both free to date others? Sleep with others? Yes but I m in love with him. I tried the no contact but he always pops back up doesn't help I see him causally around ..it's like we almost made it and now this woman is staying at his house sleeping in his bed using his towels . It makes me sick . I told myself a lot of negative things for falling so hard for him but it happened and no matter who I see ,date i still think of him . Most times I don't even date because in all honesty ,as much as it hurts to admit,I still love him. Edited November 28, 2015 by JohnsonBaby
preraph Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 Well, you know what "just friends" is, right? Because you two are "just friends." He knows you're more invested and so now he figures to keep you as one of his mares in the corral, he will have to convince you he's "just friends," and I can guarantee you he's telling the other one the same thing about you -- and in his mind, it's true, because you're "just friends" who agreed to sleep with each other and not make an issue of it. Your only recourse here that makes any sense besides just cutting him off knowing it is never going anywhere and that he has nothing more than "just friends" for you is to do what you agreed to do, and that's date other people ( I didn't say "sleep with") and look for something better who does want you. 2
Author JohnsonBaby Posted November 28, 2015 Author Posted November 28, 2015 Well, you know what "just friends" is, right? Because you two are "just friends." He knows you're more invested and so now he figures to keep you as one of his mares in the corral, he will have to convince you he's "just friends," and I can guarantee you he's telling the other one the same thing about you -- and in his mind, it's true, because you're "just friends" who agreed to sleep with each other and not make an issue of it. Your only recourse here that makes any sense besides just cutting him off knowing it is never going anywhere and that he has nothing more than "just friends" for you is to do what you agreed to do, and that's date other people ( I didn't say "sleep with") and look for something better who does want you. Yup that's exactly what I m thinking ,he s probably telling her the same thing . I tried dating other people and I wasn't interested in any of them ,it was almost like forcing myself to like someone else and to shut off whatever feelings I have for this guy . It has been going for 2 years . We have this attachment that it's not just sex but it's not a relationship either . I m totally scared of him and try to avoid him as I feel so weak and soppy around him . I just hate that . I m just feeling so sick thinking that she s sleeping in his bed ,using his stuff maybe even his t shirt to sleep while I never had the change to do that . It makes me feel pretty **** to be honest .
ExpatInItaly Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 Me and this guy have been having a long winded connection with benefits lasting on and off a couple of years with a couple of future faking" moments. Anyway ,we casually met yesterday at the mall and kissed and hugged each other for a long time. He was leaving for w business trip so I texted him asking him if he made it safe ,he replied "yes thank you,by the way I have a guest over,if you see Lucy coming out my house don't get alarmed and she and I are just friends nothing more" (without me asking) saying he knows me too well. This Lucy is a new entry (lol) never heard of this "friend " before . We ,akwardly met once whil she was going to his house in the afternoon and "Needed a place to crash for the night as she had a meeting the next day " again he texted "in case you thought it ,she s just a friend " . Ok so having said all this I have to mention that we live very close to each other , when he had a gf he claimed her and dint disguise her as a friend . We kept in touch when he had a gf but never done anything as he s faithful once committed . I saw him with a different chic last weekend . Do you guys think there s something more between them ? Why does he feel the need to justify himself to me when I didn't ask who she was in the first place ? I'm curious about that comment. Have you been jealous of other girls in his life before? If so, I would imagine that's why he's telling you ahead of time. No way of knowing if she's just a friend. Could be true, or maybe they're very new and have been out a couple times. The more important question is: do you want more with him?
Author JohnsonBaby Posted November 28, 2015 Author Posted November 28, 2015 I'm curious about that comment. Have you been jealous of other girls in his life before? If so, I would imagine that's why he's telling you ahead of time. No way of knowing if she's just a friend. Could be true, or maybe they're very new and have been out a couple times. The more important question is: do you want more with him? No,never jealous as I try my very hardest to "keep my cool" ,when we start going well he suddenly disappears for no reason so when o see him I d ask what's going on ? Or mention calmly are you seeing someone. That's it nothing over the top
AspenBaldwin Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 If you like him, you should put a ring on him.
Author JohnsonBaby Posted November 28, 2015 Author Posted November 28, 2015 (edited) Edited. . Edited November 29, 2015 by JohnsonBaby
sandylee1 Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 Yes but I m in love with him. I tried the no contact but he always pops back up doesn't help I see him causally around ..it's like we almost made it and now this woman is staying at his house sleeping in his bed using his towels . It makes me sick . I told myself a lot of negative things for falling so hard for him but it happened and no matter who I see ,date i still think of him . Most times I don't even date because in all honesty ,as much as it hurts to admit,I still love him. going to end in heartache for you the longer you carry on . It's just an FWB for him clearly andI think you nearly made it....because you said he pulled back and that was before Lucy came along. You don't seem the type who can deal with just a FWB thing... it's not for everyone and you'll be very very hurt in the end. Try NC again and don't let him pop back in to your life. Be clear that this situation doesn't work for you. You don't need to profess your love and if this guy cared for you and your feelings.. he'd end it. People who care don't want you to get hurt.
joseb Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 Yes but I m in love with him. You do realise you are just Fwb don't you? If you are in love with him somehow, then you need to stop pretending and either stop seeing him or make it a relationship.
Maggie4 Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 You're just a friend too. So now he has two FWB's?
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