brokengirl85 Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 I hope you all had a happy thanksgiving! I had a date with someone I really liked. It was only a first date, one could already tell, right? After that, he did contact me in several occasions, mostly nice texts asking for a second date and wishing me a happy thanksgiving. I noticed, however, that texts are somehow dry, and after my reply or his, they die organically. In the meantime, we've both have been active on online dating. I've changed my profile picture, he's been online talking to others, I suppose. The lack of fluidity and the fact that he proposed a second date but he failed at setting a time and date (he said he has to think about it) made me realize that, even though he likes me to continue communicating, he doesn't like me enough to aggressively pursue me (he doesn't make any questions, he doesn't seem very worry by the fact I'm online, he's himself active as well) How to manage the fact that I might like him more than he does? I'm not initiating, mostly because his extensive online activity which makes me think he is actively dating others. But how should one do to decrease expectations and not get hurt?
hippychick3 Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 The only way to do this is to date others and not allow yourself to get attached to any man until you've gone on several dates (sexless) and he has suggested exclusivity.
Author brokengirl85 Posted November 28, 2015 Author Posted November 28, 2015 Good point. About the sex thing, I'll not have sex with anyone until I know we're exclusive. This is something I've learnt after I bumped my head to the ground several times. On one hand I agree, I'd have to date others. But on the other hand I think, damn, again other first dates, again all the nervousness, again and again. I'd very much gave a second date with someone I really like. I guess it's part of the game
goldengirl11 Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 Don't most men though only suggest exclusivity after you've had sex with them though? That's always been the case for me, unfortunately! 1
AspenBaldwin Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 It seems to me in relantionships there is always one loving and the other one allowing the other to love him/her. Love is not a two way street, sometimes you make a u turn, turn left, turn right, and end up recalculating your whole life. 1
RedRobin Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 (edited) Don't most men though only suggest exclusivity after you've had sex with them though? That's always been the case for me, unfortunately! Nope. There are quite a few men who are exclusive before sex... and only date one at a time. It's the only kind of man I will date. The trick is to screen out multidaters ASAP. The die hard multidaters will have a hard time being exclusive even when they claim to be... Even after sex. Those are the ones more likely to be having sex or trying to with multiple people in order to hedge their bets. If you don't like it, then don't keep dating them and don't have sex with them. It is pretty simple. Anyway, OP, if his communication is boring, why are you still interested in him? Stop responding to his texts. In fact, don't respond to any texts that aren't a request to talk on the phone or set up a date. That's what I do. Works great. You don't waste time with the texting idiots trying to build a fan club and you save your time and attention for people who genuinely want to get to know you. Edited November 29, 2015 by RedRobin
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