lilmissjava Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 As the title implies, I was ghosted (not faded), completely ghosted after four dates with a man from OLD. The dates spanned a month give or take a few days. (No sex, lots of time spent together, movies, shopping, walks in the park, lame attempts at serenading) ha. He has since gotten back into contact, and has asked to see me next week after a weak ass apology. He gave no rhyme or reason for his Houdini act and I have not yet responded to him at all. Is there anyone here that would accept his invitation, hear him out after three months? Or would the majority of lovelorn LS'ers respond with no response at all? I am leaning towards the latter. I did text him a few days after our last date 3 months ago with no response and have not attempted further contact since then.
Poutrew Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 Don't bother. He thought he had anther woman lined up for sweet action so he dumped you . It ran its course, so he is just trolling his old list for potential future action. You don't want to be the one he scrapes off the bottom of the trash can, waiting and eager to please him after all this time... 7
Author lilmissjava Posted November 28, 2015 Author Posted November 28, 2015 Don't bother. He thought he had anther woman lined up for sweet action so he dumped you . It ran its course, so he is just trolling his old list for potential future action. You don't want to be the one he scrapes off the bottom of the trash can, waiting and eager to please him after all this time... Excellent answer. This perspective is really what I needed to read.
oberkeat Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 Let me tell you something: A year ago, I set up a dinner date with a girl I'd been dating for about three weeks. When I texted her that day to confirm, she didn't reply. A week later, she sent me a long text, apologizing for being rude and inconsiderate, said she had been stressed with grad school, but had no right to do that, etc., and asked how I'm doing. She said if I'm still interested, she would like another chance, but if not, she understood. I accepted her apology, and rescheduled. You know what happened? She backed out of that date to! If someone ghosts, don't ever give them another chance, ever. 3
Maggie4 Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 If I enjoy his company, I'd see him again, do the things I like, and meet up when convenient for me. Since I wouldn't be exactly heart broken, not even peeved, by his disappearence, as long as he's fun to be with, why not have a platonic friend to do things with?
SwordofFlame Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 Excellent answer. This perspective is really what I needed to read. You were Plan B. And if you accept that, he may turn you into Plan B again when he meets someone else. Just ignore him. 1
Author lilmissjava Posted November 28, 2015 Author Posted November 28, 2015 If I enjoy his company, I'd see him again, do the things I like, and meet up when convenient for me. Since I wouldn't be exactly heart broken, not even peeved, by his disappearence, as long as he's fun to be with, why not have a platonic friend to do things with? True say Maggie4. I wasn't heartbroken, more like a "wtf" moment because I had just started OLD first time ever. I wondered in the beginning if I'd ever hear from him again, now I know. I am not even going to give him the satisfaction of a "no thanks"
LilaMarie Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 I immediately delete a guy's phone number if I don't see it working out. I would have responded, "Who is this?" or "Who this be?!" 1
IronZ Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 Ask yourself why he felt the need to disappear completely for 3 months. That's a long time to not be in contact with someone. I would think he fell into another relationship and dropped you completely. Now it seems that's ended and guess who rears his ugly head back up again. Don't be a safety net for him.
aprilisi Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 They usually come back in my experience. Just seems to be happening a lot more. Maybe the holidays. I had two today. One a guy I knew from high school who I dated a few months. Texted after a year and a half. And one I went on several dates with early this year. Had one guy tell me once that he had found the "perfect" woman and she broke it off. So he comes back to me a year later. At least he was honest I guess.
truth_seeker Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 Don't bother. He thought he had anther woman lined up for sweet action so he dumped you . It ran its course, so he is just trolling his old list for potential future action. You don't want to be the one he scrapes off the bottom of the trash can, waiting and eager to please him after all this time... Exactly right. Now if you want to teach him a lesson, accept his invitation, suggest a really nice restaurant, have him pay for the expensive dinner, then end the night with a hug. Tell him you'll be in touch and never speak to him again.
cookiemonster26 Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 As the title implies, I was ghosted (not faded), completely ghosted after four dates with a man from OLD. The dates spanned a month give or take a few days. (No sex, lots of time spent together, movies, shopping, walks in the park, lame attempts at serenading) ha. He has since gotten back into contact, and has asked to see me next week after a weak ass apology. He gave no rhyme or reason for his Houdini act and I have not yet responded to him at all. Is there anyone here that would accept his invitation, hear him out after three months? Or would the majority of lovelorn LS'ers respond with no response at all? I am leaning towards the latter. I did text him a few days after our last date 3 months ago with no response and have not attempted further contact since then. If someone has ghosted you, I wouldn't give them a second chance at all. Ghosting shows a lack of integrity and someone who doesn't have integrity is not worth going on any sort of date
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