BlueBull Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 Hello everybody, this is the first time I'm posting here. I need people to talk to about this because most of my friends just aren't as experienced with women. Anyway, she and I got together over a year ago. We met on the first day of college. At the time she was dating another guy but that soon fell apart because he was a jerk to her. We ended up spending a ton of time together and we had a lot in common. We then started dating in October and had a blast. After a few months we were convinced that we were soul mates. We rarely fought and when we did, we were so mature at fixing the problem. It was one of the most mature relationships I've ever seen. We were that best friend couple that never wanted to leave each others side. Last summer we moved into an apartment together. We could barely be apart during winter break (she lived hours away from me) and we felt it'd be better if we didn't go the summer without seeing each other. We were ok with the idea because we practically lived together in her dorm room. We only grew closer during the summer as we struggled to make it by and pay rent. School started this year and things changed. She got two more jobs because she wanted more money, (even though she had plenty). She started skipping classes and it just seemed like she was starting to throw her future away. I was barely able to see her during that time. She also started hanging out with the guy in the apartment below us and befriended him. I was ok with this because she's had tons of guy friends before. I've never been a controlling boyfriend. A little over weeks ago we broke up. She kissed that guy one day and told me she thinks we grew apart. After a week of talking with her and trying to get her to stay with me, we mutually broke it off. She wanted to be single, and I was somewhat alright with it. My life is pretty crappy right now. She jumps at any chance to hang out with that guy. He's only here on weekends because his new job is hours away. She doesn't want a relationship with him because she'd rarely see him and he's like 6-7 years older. We still live together because we signed a lease and if one of us left, the other would be screwed. The past few weeks I've been working towards making myself a better person with the goal of getting her back. I still love this woman to death. I know that she's the one and that I'm willing to wait for her. I have plenty of time to love her. We've been hanging out the past week and she admitted one night when I ask that she's kind of falling for me again but she still just wants to be single. She still hangs out with that douche of a guy though which just confuses the hell out of me. I just don't know if I'm wasting my time. I still love her so much and I don't want to move on but it hurts to know she's hanging out with that guy still. She could hang out with any other guy but him and I'd be fine with it.
Samhain Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 If she was "falling for you again" she wouldn't want to be single and she wouldn't want to see other guys. She's making her life more comfortable and easier to handle since you live together still by telling you what you want to hear. She can see you are trying to win her back, women can sniff out weakness like you wouldn't believe. And that is exactly what she views you as. Weak. It's a harsh reality. And I wouldn't believe for a second that she "doesn't want to be with that guy" he's most probably the one who only wants a weekend hook up. Stop making yourself so available. She knows you're there at her beck and call so if things go awry with other men she can fall back on you and you will be there with open arms. Treat her like a housemate and nothing more or less. Move on with your own life.. Don't chase her don't even speak to her unless you have to regarding home issues. Live your life, even if it kills you inside. When she sees you are standing on your own two feet and don't NEED her, only then will you become more endearing to her. If that's what you truly want. Personally I'd live as roomates until I could change my situation and let her do whatever she pleased. She pretty much broke up with you so she could sleep with the guy downstairs.. Don't allow that to get lost on you.
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