I am interested in an enormously attractive guy at my school...

[littlez360]

Question OP : what if this guy is not into sleeping around and rather wants a relationship based on other other aspects where sex is only a part of it ? Basically , you get rejected because of your one mind track about him : sex and he loses any respect has for you ?

 

I wouldn't put too much concern into the idea that an 18yr old guy is going to reject a girl simply because she wants to have sex with him...

That's a girl thing...

[RedRobin]

What do you do? You treat him like anyone else you are interested in getting to know.

 

Right now, you know zero about him. He could be a complete jerk for all you know.

 

Regardless of what he looks like, if you don't have any interests in common, it won't go anywhere.

 

I would reject opinions from people saying you should dress 'cheap' trying to lure him in that way. If he is worth half a damn, he will see through that kind of stuff. If he's not worth half a damn... Well, there are lots of pretty faces to waste time with I guess. I've never been one to get too flustered over those guys.

 

I treat them like people. You can't help how you were born. It is what you do with it that matters. Character. Integrity. All that.

 

Edited: every young woman (and man) needs to learn that anyone can just have sex. If the guy were willing to sleep with me and any other woman ASAP I would question HIS judgement. I suspect this thread is going to be highly edited soon due to the liberal use of the S word... As it should be. There is no place for double standards.

 

Long story short... OP... Get to know him before you develop romantic feelings or thoughts. Don't let anyone's look, status, money, power, or anything else unduly effect you. Keep your head when all others are losing theirs... And they will be the ones following you... Not the other way around.

Edited November 28, 2015 by RedRobin

[littlez360]

I think if other people really read into what Mariah is saying, she just wants to hook up with this guy at the very least. She hasn't even hinted towards the intention of getting to know him and being in a relationship. I'm sure she would be open to it, but her prime interest is hooking up with him, she's looking for a discussion around that.

From the 2 guys that have actually following the thread, we're just being honest with her, yet again, warned her that he may not want anything to do with her afterwards, to be responsible about sex if it get's there.

She's 17, seems free spirited and doesn't seem confused about what she wants at all...

[RedRobin]

I can read quite well, thank you. What I see is a young person not sure what she has to offer this guy who seems so awesome to her (based on not a lot, if you ask me)... And getting 'advice' about her projected value and using derogatory terms to prop up their opinions. How is this helping exactly?

[littlez360]

I understand a womans perspective on the advice given by both T.Seeker and I. However given the circumstances, I really think we're just being simple, honest, and did in fact warn her of the possible outcome of her intentions. I'm personally one to motivate people to go after what they want rather than express what other people might think of you. I also told her to keep us posted. Because there's always the possibility that she will not know how to handle his reaction...

I don't have it all figured out. But I just happened to be "that guy" she's referring to back when I was a senior in h.s. So I felt my input may be of some use...

[truth_seeker]

This girl is going to do whatever she wants, regardless of what is posted here. Some of us were being light-hearted, having fun with suggestions (look at her responses laughing about what some us of wrote) but we also warned her of the consequences.

 

So, if Mariah is reading this: if you want to sleep with the Greek God, be prepared that he may use you only for sex, you may get hurt, and it may cause you to get tagged with a reputation around school for being easy. If you're okay with that, then happy banging.

[KatZee]

This thread is 9 pages deep and I'm going to be honest, I don't really have the attention span to read all 9 pages of hair twirling and high school flirting. I'm just going to give my advice. If it's been posted already, apologies.

 

This is what you do:

 

TREAT HIM LIKE A HUMAN BEING.

 

So far, he's been at your school for a month, and instead of anyone really trying to KNOW him, every female is just throwing themselves at him and I basically picture a raw steak, and 5-10 lions fighting over it.

 

Your plan of: inviting him over and then touching his biceps and complimenting them... not to be rude, but you couldn't be any more vapid if you tried.

 

Listen, this guy KNOWS he's attractive. I'm sure he looks in a mirror before he leaves his house, and he's obviously no stranger to slutty teens and people just fawning over his looks.

 

I'm an attractive female. When I was online dating, EVERY. SINGLE. DUDE. who would message me would go, "You're so beautiful!" "Hey beautiful!" "You're so gorgeous." "How can I talk to a gorgeous woman." OK, yes, thank you for the compliment, but is that it? Is that all you come up with to say? I'm way more than a physical appearance, and so is this guy.

 

If you WANT to stand out, treat him the way no female's ever treated him before (at least not at your new school anyway), like a human! Find out who he is, become a friend to him, become someone he respects in his eyes.

 

Don't just be another babbling, idiotic, blonde hair tossing, pair of legs willing to open for him. Get inside his head. Obviously he's much deeper than any of you know. Shy, quiet people are surprisingly deep and there's a lot under the surface that you don't see.

 

Get over the fact that he's a "Greek god." (He's not). He's a person just like any of you. The second you take him down a few notches, is the second you'll stop acting like he's some untouchable being, someone you can't even approach.

[Ruby Slippers]

I've had relationships with a couple of girl-magnet men like your crush, and I totally agree that these guys almost always prefer to pursue the girl. They view girls who throw themselves at them as ordinary, even find it a turn-off to be pursued, since it happens so often.

 

Though I'm not the hottest girl either of these men could get, they both told me that one of the major differences between me and the typical girl is that I was interested in them and got to know them for more than their looks. Also, I didn't take any crap I wouldn't normally take just because they were so good-looking.

 

I suggest you start by getting to know him as a person. If there's chemistry between the two of you, it will be evident, and he'll make a move. I don't think that being too forward is likely to get you anything but possibly something purely physical and rather shallow.

[Mariah98]

I've had relationships with a couple of girl-magnet men like your crush, and I totally agree that these guys almost always prefer to pursue the girl. They view girls who throw themselves at them as ordinary, even find it a turn-off to be pursued, since it happens so often.

 

Though I'm not the hottest girl either of these men could get, they both told me that one of the major differences between me and the typical girl is that I was interested in them and got to know them for more than their looks. Also, I didn't take any crap I wouldn't normally take just because they were so good-looking.

 

I suggest you start by getting to know him as a person. If there's chemistry between the two of you, it will be evident, and he'll make a move. I don't think that being too forward is likely to get you anything but possibly something purely physical and rather shallow.

He seems to be a wonderful person as well, at least my impression of him is that he is very humble, considering how he always smiles kindly and shows respect to the girls who approach him.

 

By the way, just how easily does a guy like this typically get something "sexual" from other girls?

I mean, can he just "exist" at school and wait for the girls to ask him out and then show up at the date, and let the girl do all the approaching towards a kiss or something?

In that case this surely must mean that he has probably had casual sex with some of the girls at that school, no matter how socially awkward he is...?

[guest569]

There is so much crap in this thread. If you are interested, go and talk to him. Thats all you need to do at this point. Going and staring at him and wearing minimal clothes or sexually assaulting him really is not going to achieve much.

[guest569]

Also my advice is NEVER obsess or fantasize over a man or put him on a pedestal. Dont get ahead of yourself, or you will just get hurt over what is frankly nothing.

[Mariah98]

There is so much crap in this thread. If you are interested, go and talk to him. Thats all you need to do at this point. Going and staring at him and wearing minimal clothes or sexually assaulting him really is not going to achieve much.

Yes, I really hope I can find him on Monday and talk to him.

 

I was just wondering though, how easily does a guy like this typically get dates etc with girls?

I mean, do you think he gets asked out all the time without doing anything at all himself, and then the girls will take the initiative to kiss him and whatnot during that date, even if he does nothing at all himself to "move forward" in anything?

[littlez360]

There is so much crap in this thread. If you are interested, go and talk to him. Thats all you need to do at this point. Going and staring at him and wearing minimal clothes or sexually assaulting him really is not going to achieve much.

 

Well if she want's to just hook up with this guy. Sexually assaulting him will probably achieve more than you'd think...

But yes, go talk to him.

[littlez360]

Also my advice is NEVER obsess or fantasize over a man or put him on a pedestal. Dont get ahead of yourself, or you will just get hurt over what is frankly nothing.

 

She gives good advice... Don't put anybody on a pedestal but yourself. But I still say go for what you want.

[RedRobin]

You don't know this guy at all. You will have to learn for yourself how to read people and what path is best for you.

 

Lots of stupid stereotypes being thrown around here. I work around all men, and I will tell you that they are not all the same. Duh, right?

 

I'd think we were past the point in our evolution where women were being told to be passive and demure. Clearly, that hasn't worked for a lot of the ladies here who are still single, eh?

 

As for girls who do this or that being called easy... Well, it takes two to tango... These days with STDs etc, the guys who do that will also not be considered the cream of the crop... It's your job to sort them out though. The ones who are genuinely interested in YOU... Or ones who are tacky, mean, or just plain blabber mouths...

 

When I was your age, I didn't date anyone in my own high school... I didn't like the gossip and rumor mill. Plus, I didn't want to face them on a daily basis if/when we broke up. That old, don't shyte where you eat... It applies in HS too... Unless you vet the crap out of them. Same as if you were at a job. Right now, school is your 'job' and I would take it just as seriously... Not worry about this or that cute dude you'll likely never see again after you go to college.

 

Find a cute guy at another school, is my advice. If this guy wants to prove he is worth your time, then let him try and see what he is made of.

[Qboro90]

I'm shocked by some of the replies here and don't think that some of this is the right advice to be giving a 17yo.

 

You're not going to walk up to him and kiss him, no one does that. Don't dress like a skank to get his attention either. Do you want to hopefully date this guy or just want him as a physical hook up Bc you find him so attractive?

 

If you "slut it up" with your clothing then he's not going to respect you. And guys don't date girls they don't respect.

 

Most of this is besides the point because I think you need to re evaluate how you approach dating, sex, and attraction. Your mindset and goals are incredibly immature and won't be beneficial to your development as a woman.

Why do I say this? Because you're drooling over this guy and making him out to be some God like figure and it sounds like all he needs to do is say "hi" to you in order to get you to have sex with him or give yourself to him emotionally/physically.

 

What's so concerning about that? You don't even know this kids name!!!!!? In fact, you know nothing about him at all other than the fact that he's the new kid in school who is attractive and athletic and popular. However, for all we know, he could be a huge ******* who treats girls like **** and is a complete deuche.

 

Just because you over heard a few conversations he's had due to you snooping, doesn't mean you know who he really is. You built him up to be this perfect guy when in fact you know next to nothing about him as a person at this point.

 

Please slow things down. You're in high school. This guy won't be the last hot male you come across. Plus there's also the chance that even if you do meet and get tk know him, he won't feel the same way about you at all. You're getting your hopes and expectations way ahead of yourself.

 

Why don't you start Monday by going up to him either at lunchtime, or if you are around him between classes, or have class together, or after school is over for the day by simply saying " hey I noticed you just started here this year, I'm Mariah" . Simple, easy and cool. You can ask him where be used to go to school, etc.

 

There's a fine line between being assertive and a confident girl, and being an overly easy, clingy girl who requires no effort on the guys part to hook up with.

[littlez360]

I'm shocked by some of the replies here and don't think that some of this is the right advice to be giving a 17yo.

 

You're not going to walk up to him and kiss him, no one does that. Don't dress like a skank to get his attention either. Do you want to hopefully date this guy or just want him as a physical hook up Bc you find him so attractive?

 

If you "slut it up" with your clothing then he's not going to respect you. And guys don't date girls they don't respect.

 

Most of this is besides the point because I think you need to re evaluate how you approach dating, sex, and attraction. Your mindset and goals are incredibly immature and won't be beneficial to your development as a woman.

Why do I say this? Because you're drooling over this guy and making him out to be some God like figure and it sounds like all he needs to do is say "hi" to you in order to get you to have sex with him or give yourself to him emotionally/physically.

 

What's so concerning about that? You don't even know this kids name!!!!!? In fact, you know nothing about him at all other than the fact that he's the new kid in school who is attractive and athletic and popular. However, for all we know, he could be a huge ******* who treats girls like **** and is a complete deuche.

 

Just because you over heard a few conversations he's had due to you snooping, doesn't mean you know who he really is. You built him up to be this perfect guy when in fact you know next to nothing about him as a person at this point.

 

Please slow things down. You're in high school. This guy won't be the last hot male you come across. Plus there's also the chance that even if you do meet and get tk know him, he won't feel the same way about you at all. You're getting your hopes and expectations way ahead of yourself.

 

Why don't you start Monday by going up to him either at lunchtime, or if you are around him between classes, or have class together, or after school is over for the day by simply saying " hey I noticed you just started here this year, I'm Mariah" . Simple, easy and cool. You can ask him where be used to go to school, etc.

 

There's a fine line between being assertive and a confident girl, and being an overly easy, clingy girl who requires no effort on the guys part to hook up with.

 

 

I agree on most points here... however, she really does seem like she just wants to hook up with this guy, she hasn't mentioned once that she actually wants a relationship with him. As a guy, I know there's been girls that I strictly just wanted to hook up with and couldn't care less if she actually respects me later on, and that started long before I turned 17... Again, women mature much faster. If she just wants a hook up, and understands that she may get turned down, understands that she may just get used, understands she she may be disappointed.

I can't argue, that if you just want sex with a guy... make it easy for him. Btm line... :/

True, he may very well "prefer" it to be a little more traditional and make him notice you and get his curiousity... But then again, as a guy that had plenty of attention of girls in H.S., I just can't picture him being totally turned off by a girl just because she's making it clear that wants to get busy.

You people act like 17yrs old is young.... When I was just a year older than her, I was on the front lines in Afghanistan with ordinances blowing up all around me and my brother bleeding out in the AV behind me.

 

 

My opinion is a little different than most on this website, I accept that. But it's all about perspective... people are just being honest for the most part in this thread, but it certainly did turn into a little more than it should be.

[littlez360]

Believe it or not. It's all that uncommon for two people to....

Treat eachother like crap, disrespect eachother, but still engage sexually with eachother and still go on to have a healthy self esteem...

Who's to say what's right and wrong here?

It doesn't matter what intentions she has when she walks away from this, but if she has a postitive outlook and is prepared for the possible outcomes. Then the forum served it's purpose.

[Mariah98]

I understand that I should not be overly clingy if I want something a bit more serious with him, and I efinitely hope that he will find me interesting enough to spend a lot of time with.

But at the same time, I cannot help but feeling overwhelmed by his looks every time I see him, and this makes me react like "wow, oh my god, he is so darn hot...!", and then I will just wanna get intimate with him right away.

That's just my spontaneous reaction every single time he shows up, lol, but I try to view him as a possible more serious boyfriend as well.

 

I guess my fear is that I will get dumped very quickly for someone else if we do get together.

[Mariah98]

Haha, actually I have already decided that I am going to approach him and flirt with him tomorrow, so my "plan" is settled.

 

The problem with being "very sexually forward" is that I feel that I could very easily become seriously interested in him as well, since as far as I can tell, he always seems very humble and friendly to all the girls who approach him.

I have not seen the slightest sign of him being cocky or anything in any way at all, so he probably isn't like that - on the contrary, I have seen a lot of indications that he is a kind and friendly guy, judging by his warm smile and modest body language.

And if I do become truly interested in him, I would really want to be special for him - it would suck if he just saw me as quick and easy sex and then dumped me for someone else.

[truth_seeker]

Haha, actually I have already decided that I am going to approach him and flirt with him tomorrow, so my "plan" is settled.

 

The problem with being "very sexually forward" is that I feel that I could very easily become seriously interested in him as well, since as far as I can tell, he always seems very humble and friendly to all the girls who approach him.

I have not seen the slightest sign of him being cocky or anything in any way at all, so he probably isn't like that - on the contrary, I have seen a lot of indications that he is a kind and friendly guy, judging by his warm smile and modest body language.

And if I do become truly interested in him, I would really want to be special for him - it would suck if he just saw me as quick and easy sex and then dumped me for someone else.

 

I'm going to be very serious here:

 

Talk to him first then see how you feel. As of right now, you're lost in this fantasy of how great he is and how you project him to be. You're in love with what you see, I mean, you're infatuated with this guy.

 

One step at a time.

 

Say hi, see where it goes.

[xxoo]

Haha, actually I have already decided that I am going to approach him and flirt with him tomorrow, so my "plan" is settled.

 

The problem with being "very sexually forward" is that I feel that I could very easily become seriously interested in him as well, since as far as I can tell, he always seems very humble and friendly to all the girls who approach him.

I have not seen the slightest sign of him being cocky or anything in any way at all, so he probably isn't like that - on the contrary, I have seen a lot of indications that he is a kind and friendly guy, judging by his warm smile and modest body language.

And if I do become truly interested in him, I would really want to be special for him - it would suck if he just saw me as quick and easy sex and then dumped me for someone else.

 

Sounds like he may be an awesome guy!

 

Treat him normally. Be friendly and sweet, and get to know him. Show your spunk, but don't throw yourself at him, and don't worry if other girls do. Be the different girl, the cool chick

[Mariah98]

Sounds like he may be an awesome guy!

 

Treat him normally. Be friendly and sweet, and get to know him. Show your spunk, but don't throw yourself at him, and don't worry if other girls do. Be the different girl, the cool chick

Yep, it's pretty relieving to see him appear shy and somewhat awkward, this will hopefully mean that he doesn't think I am too weird if I end up giggling and blushing all the time while trying to talk to him.

[Glitters]

I will only retreat that if this guy is so hot and the way you describe his personality and him being approached by so many other girls , he knows he is a catch. But is still humble, then , you need to be different from others who are not after his body. He knows he has a hot body. You need to click in his mind that you are not after it ( even though you are !)

 

If you are being part of the herd , why would he choose you over others ? Look at him as a person and not someone you want to jump over. He sees that every walking moment !

 

People who are gawked at all the time , either start feeding in it or get repulsed by it. Former have low self esteem and later know they are more than a hot body and want someone who sees them that way.

[Mariah98]

I will only retreat that if this guy is so hot and the way you describe his personality and him being approached by so many other girls , he knows he is a catch. But is still humble, then , you need to be different from others who are not after his body. He knows he has a hot body. You need to click in his mind that you are not after it ( even though you are !)

 

If you are being part of the herd , why would he choose you over others ? Look at him as a person and not someone you want to jump over. He sees that every walking moment !

 

People who are gawked at all the time , either start feeding in it or get repulsed by it. Former have low self esteem and later know they are more than a hot body and want someone who sees them that way.

Yes, however, how common is it for a guy like him to get dates and sex invitations without doing anything at all himself?

I mean, does he like get asked out and invited home to girls even if he is 100% lazy and pretty much only "exists" and says yes to dates?