Need Advice So The Girl Of My Dreams Doesnt Get Away

[nohopeleft]

So i am really in love with this girl and i really need some advice to get me through this. So it all started when this girl liked me and i told her that we should take things slow so we did and we became the best of friends. I was just about to make my moves about 2 days ago but she is hanging on another guy and someone asks her whats up and she tells them she didnt like that guy but i geuss she doesnt like me like that anymore. She told me that she loved me many times before and now she says she doesnt want to be more than friends because i am her best friend and she has never had a guy friend like me before. She really confuses me. I want to be more than friends and its hard to talk to her for me because our whole friendship has been based on a relationship somewhat more than friends the whole time and even though we were never officialy girlfriend or boyfriend i still feel like i lost her and that she has ripped my heart out. If anybody can give me any advice on what i should do to try to get her back or what i should do period it would be much appreciated.

[whichwayisup]

The best approach is to be very clear, upfront and HONEST with her on how you feel. Tell her that you want a relationship with her and being "just friends" is too hard. You don't want to lose her but you can't go back to holding hands once you've had sex. (I assume that you guys have slept together??)

 

If she does need more time, give her that space, but don't hang out with her. Space is space. Make yourself busy, hang out with friends and allow her time to figure out what she wants, but still talk to her, just don't spend alot of time together. Know what I'm saying?

 

It will be hard as she's the one with the control and deciding what happens next.

 

As a woman, honesty is it for me. No hints, no games, even if it would hurt, I'd rather know than not know what is going on.

 

Hope this helps.

[nohopeleft]

that is very good advice and i appreciate it, if anybody else out there has anymore advice i will still accept anyones opinions

[LucreziaBorgia]

Honestly, this is when you need to distance yourself from her. You have already lost any chance, the second she decided you were "friends".

 

She is telling you this 'friends' thing as a consolation prize, and not out of real honesty. Think about it: do you honestly think that she is telling you that she prefers not to be friends with the guys she dates? Its not that she finds you to be such a great friend, and that's why she doesn't want to date you: its that she finds you lacking in all the things that would make her want you as a boyfriend.

 

Its not the friendship that stands in your way: its her lack of romantic or sexual feelings for you that stands in your way. She doesn't have the balls to tell you that, so she tries to wrap it up in a nice "I don't want to lose you as a friend" package. She probably doesn't want to lose you as a 'friend' that she gets some good use out of - and she knows that if she tells you point blank the truth: that she doesn't have any romantic or sexual feelings for you - that you will not be so keen on being 'friends' after all.

[nohopeleft]

Ok most of everyones advice helped me out, me and this girl is now together and yea. well thanks for everything everyone, except for LucreziaBorgia. your advice kinda was the wrong thing i dont know. but thanks for it anyways