The Next Big Thing Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 (edited) I underlined the critical points/issues for those who are lazy to read but I would be really thankful if you would read all because you will understand where Im coming from. Im at university, Ive never had a girlfriend yet. But I believe Im really good with girls/women. Im talkative, I can be funny, flirty. Im meeting a lot of girls and when I like some girl I try to get to know her better, of course. But when she shows interest in me and things progress (like she seems to really like me, we talk a lot and I can just feel like if things go this way it could get into relationship), I start to lose interest. Its crazy. At those moments Im saying to myself : "well, she isnt as pretty as you first thought, there are hotter girls , etc..maybe you should try it with them." ...I know it sounds shallow but thoughts like these sometimes come to me because Im just afraid to start a relationship with someone who Im not THAT attracted to because Im afraid I would look at other women/girls and lose focus on this one, and then just break her heart..I dont want that. Sometimes I think like "if you get into relationship with this girl, you will lose time during which you could have be with the other girl you are attracted to also." Its like I want them all and cant decide. But whats crazy is that it would happen even if she was the hottest supermodel in the world, I would still say "there are prettier women out there and you can get them so why be with this one..." ...its stupid! I want to stop it! Also sometimes when I know some girl for a longer time and know her personality more, sometimes then I dont think like that anymore, but there is another thing, that Im just hesitant to make that commitment. You know, basically let a stranger person into my personal life, let that person know my family, my life, everything about me....then I fear that if we break up one day, how will our relationship be? She will know everything about my life and she will not longer be a close person. Will she tell about some of my personal stuff to somebody? Will she use it somehow? You know, you leave yourself vulnerable by opening your heart and if the relationship ends, I fear that the person can hurt you. But I heard that some people remain good friends after breakup, so that makes me calm, but Im still hesitant. Someone would say, you may NOT breakup. And thats the third issue. I also wonder if Im gonna have to stick with this ONE person for the rest of my life. Thats why I am thinking about their looks, personality...everything. I want to date and have relationship with multiple women in my life so I also know better what to expect from relationship and what I want from it. Do YOU enter into relationships with the intention to stay with the person forever? Like "this is the ONE" ? You know, few times in my life I have met girls that immediately I thought they were perfect (for me). I saw her and when we connected with eyes I just felt weird connection. They were really beautiful physically (face, etc) ... but theres a difference when I see a hot girl with boobs and I think sexually about her AND THIS , when I met these girls, I didnt think about stuff like that AT ALL. I was just curious what person they were and I just perceived them as so soft and gentle. Unfortunately, I never used the opportunity to its full potential to make something out of those interactions. But those were probably the only girls in my life where I didnt feel hesitant at all. You know, if I would have proceeded with every single girl that was interested to me I would have already slept with lot of girls but Im still a virgin and it bothers me a bit to be honest. But I try not to focus on it. WHAT should I do? What is your opinion on this? Should I get into relationship with the first girl that shows interest in me eventhough I wont be THAT interested or little hesitant? Or I should wait maybe to my 30s when I meet the perfect girl I already met several times and lost several times also...? Edited November 27, 2015 by The Next Big Thing
LilaMarie Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 Have you tried seeing a therapist or psychologist?
smackie9 Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 A) It's possible the loss of attraction due to the sexual/performance anxiety. B) You want your first experience with sex to be with the queen of Sheba. C) You are just making excuses because you are afraid of sex. Tip: sex is just sex, so just have it. You don't need to be so emotionally involved, plans of marriage and naming your kids to have sex. Just give into your hormones and the anxiety will go away.
Glitters Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 Sometimes all takes is one step to make things working or going out of your comfort zone. You can do the one step forward , two steps back , till it's the other way around. It will happen but will take a conscious effort on your part. Take every failure as a step forward.
Author The Next Big Thing Posted November 28, 2015 Author Posted November 28, 2015 Have you tried seeing a therapist or psychologist? No, but I thought about it.
Author The Next Big Thing Posted November 28, 2015 Author Posted November 28, 2015 A) It's possible the loss of attraction due to the sexual/performance anxiety. B) You want your first experience with sex to be with the queen of Sheba. C) You are just making excuses because you are afraid of sex. Tip: sex is just sex, so just have it. You don't need to be so emotionally involved, plans of marriage and naming your kids to have sex. Just give into your hormones and the anxiety will go away. Yeah, I think Im kind of stressed out that I will share this intimate part of my life with basically "stranger" who may probably leave my life after some time. I should probably change the view on this...but I dont know how. There are MANY girls I know who Im attracted to physically and I think they like me...do you think it would be the right thing to do to get into relationship with such a girl, if the only thing I would do it for at first would be just sex??
Author The Next Big Thing Posted November 28, 2015 Author Posted November 28, 2015 Sometimes all takes is one step to make things working or going out of your comfort zone. You can do the one step forward , two steps back , till it's the other way around. It will happen but will take a conscious effort on your part. Take every failure as a step forward. Thank you!
Author The Next Big Thing Posted November 30, 2015 Author Posted November 30, 2015 So what do you think?
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