GrapeJuice Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 So, hey there ! Here is what is happening: I met this guy about 5 months ago. He's japanese, he's super friendly and is always smiling, I kinda like him because he's approchable so I kinda felt I had a friend. Once, I asked him about food and he told me I could email him anytime I had a doubt, so we exchanged Lines. We started chatting there, he would start the conversation, would answer pretty fast and everything was fine until one day I asked him if he knew a place to eat this specific japanese dish. He said yes, didn't give me any names but said we could go together. I said ok. There was when he became quiet every time we ran into each other but with everyone else would be as chatty as usual. I just thought this was some sort of cultural thing, you know? 'boys with boys, girls with girls' kinda thing. But we kept chatting. One day before our dinner date/appointment he even walked me home and he seemed his usual self. He picked the place, made a reservation, picked me up and during dinner, he was suuuuper attentive and everything was nice until we had to pay the bill. I gave him my share (6000 total, I paid 2 because he asked for 2 and took 2) but I don't know, it was weird. Of course I pulled out my money and he saw it and he sighed. Then he asked me if I was used for the guy paying for everything and I said it depends on the arrangement people have but as friends everyone pays their share. He just said 'REALLY?!?!' ? Things went downhill from there, the vibe was weird. He was uncomfortable I was uncomfortable, he kept saying we should go out again sometime I said yeah sure and haven't had a text from him in a week. We've seen each other twice at a common place and the first time was weird but the second time he was more relaxed, and even helping me out with stuff and showing interest in what I was doing. I've been told that in Japan, the guy pays for everything but it is still a 'courtesy' to at least pretend, you as a girl, to pay for your part just for the guy to turn it down. So I don't understand what happened. Did I just blew it?
Zippy2000 Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 He picked the place, made a reservation, picked me up and during dinner, he was suuuuper attentive and everything was nice until we had to pay the bill. I gave him my share (6000 total, I paid 2 because he asked for 2 and took 2) but I don't know, it was weird. Of course I pulled out my money and he saw it and he sighed. Then he asked me if I was used for the guy paying for everything and I said it depends on the arrangement people have but as friends everyone pays their share. He just said 'REALLY?!?!' Things went downhill from there, the vibe was weird. He was uncomfortable I was uncomfortable, he kept saying we should go out again sometime I said yeah sure and haven't had a text from him in a week. We've seen each other twice at a common place and the first time was weird but the second time he was more relaxed, and even helping me out with stuff and showing interest in what I was doing. I've been told that in Japan, the guy pays for everything but it is still a 'courtesy' to at least pretend, you as a girl, to pay for your part just for the guy to turn it down. So I don't understand what happened. Did I just blew it? Depends what you want. Are you wanting to date him? Im not sure if you are also Japanese but if you are in his country you need to abide by their customs. The fact that you pulled out your money shows you want to be his friend. Maybe he wants more.
Author GrapeJuice Posted November 27, 2015 Author Posted November 27, 2015 There are many things I don't know about Japan and as I wrote, it is still seen as a courtesy for the girl to try to pay for her part just for the guy to turn it down. Or so I've been told. Actually I've been told a lot of things I should/shouldn't do that I've come to the conclusion it is best not to talk to anyone just so I can avoid offending them. I'm thinking to shoot him a text later in the week asking him if he wants to have dinner with me and a group of friends.
Glitters Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 Are you in Japan or he is here ? That would change a lot of things
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