mariacarnie Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 So I need to begin by saying I have been dating a guy for 2 years but we are in the process of calling a quits. My good friend Pat, who I am not dating but we've been friends for 8 years, is aware of everything that has been going on with my current boyfriend. While Pat and I have never dated - I know on my end there has always been a slight attraction to him. I never entertained dating him though because I always assumed he saw me as a friend and in turn that is how I chose to see him. 2 weeks ago, Pat had told me he has recently developed feelings for me and while they aren't anything serious he needed me to know because he has had a hard time keeping it to himself. He then kissed me. Since then, I told him the truth about how I have felt - and that even now - I feel like I would like to explore what we have when I am completely single. We have spent time together and he has been forward with his feelings towards me (telling me different things we could do together if dating is in line for us). He always reassures me that he just wants me to be happy and no matter what I choose to do with my current boyfriend he wants me to be at peace. He says frequently when we are together how he wants to be with me but doesn't want to make things more difficult or confusing and apologizes if he is making me confused. He was texting me a lot during the day to say hello. Several nights ago we were up late together talking and hanging out. I told him I was going to end it completely 2 nights agoy with the guy I am dating but when the day came around I was unable to do it because of circumstances that were out of my control. If I am being honest - I am developing really strong feelings for Pat which I think have always been there. I feel like A terrible person for even entertaining the idea of another relationship when I am not single. I am also so afraid that Pat will lose interest in me - leaving me heartbroken even more than I already am. Within the past 3 days, Pat has become a little distand in communication. Where he used to talk to me through texts throughout the day - he has cut back or takes a long time to respond. What do I do? Does it seem like he is losing interest or like he doesn't like me anymore? How quickly can a guy just get over feelings? Any insight would be great.
Buddhist Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 Pat has probably been harbouring feelings for you for a very long period of time even though he say's they are recent. You've been in a relationship and now it looks like you're making a break from one. He came on strong while you were still attached so he doesn't lose his chance with you before you start dating someone else. He wants you to know, that he wants to be next as soon as the opportunity arises. You feel the same way. So, what he doesn't want though is for you to start up with him while you are with someone else, because then you are a cheater and that's not what he wants in a girlfriend. That's why he's pulling back. He's giving you space to do the decent thing here and cut ties with your current man so you can be with him. How you handle it? You realise that your decision to leave your current relationship was yours and made before Pat put forward his offer. If you are still behind that decision then you carry on through regardless of what Pat does or doesn't do. You're making that decision for yourself right? If after all of that you then want to pursue Pat then do so and see how it goes. It's nobody's business when you choose to date someone else, or who you choose to date, as long as you're single when you do it.
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