JackieT Posted November 26, 2015 Posted November 26, 2015 Hi guys! So I'm having the following issue. I started university last year and after some time noticed a guy in one of my classes. It was a huge class with almost 1,500 people but he still caught my eye. I would sometimes look in his direction during class and catch him looking in mine (which of course could have been just a general direction and not him specifically looking at me). I had a lot of stuff going on so I didn't pursue it. Months later, I passed him on my way to our final and he smiled at me. Again, I didn't do anything about it because I was in a rush and nervous about the exam. This year we’re in a class again and things are different. This time we’re only 90 students and the lecture room is relatively cozy. I sit in the front to record the lectures while he sits like 10 rows behind me (which is also kind of above me since the rows build an acclivity). Every time I turn around our eyes meet (well yeah, I occasionally turn around to look at him. Guilty.) Couple weeks ago I met a friend at the lobby of one of the campus buildings after that lecture me and the other guy go to. While we were talking, Blondie (yep, that's him) went to the men’s room across from me and my friend. After he came out, instead of walking directly to the entrance/exit he took an unnecessary detour and passed us. I might again be interpreting things into what's really nothing but I found it strange. Why take a detour? Don't humans tend to take the easiest and fastest route? A day after that, I spent a couple hours at the library. I soon found out that he is usually there on that day at that time. He would then prefer one of the computers you have to stand in front of rather than sit. I on the other hand write my assignments and essays there so I prefer to sit. So I sat there and did my thing and he just came out of another room and sat down diagonally from me. Again the stupid glance exchanging game until he left. I honestly thought that he might be really shy or something since in the course of a year I have never seen him talk to anyone. A guy like him should be swarmed by girls. Anyways, when I’ve talked to him last week for the first time he seemed very composed and cool (not unfriendly or anything, just confident). We were at the library again and as I passed him and I thought “Oh, what the hell” and stopped at his desk. I just asked him smiling if we were in a class together last year because he seemed familiar. He returned the smile and asked me what course I was thinking of. He then inquired about my major and my academic plans for the future (turns out we have the same major and similar goals). He looked at me all this time and averted his glance only once, namely when he said he couldn't remember me. I asked him for his name and introduced myself shaking his hand. We talked about university stuff, the course, and crap like that. After 10 minutes I said I'll let him continue with his work or whatever he was doing and he said “OK, I'll see you in class.” I have noticed that for a guy he talks very quietly. Naive little me thought I closed the deal. I just had expressed my interest not too explicitly but not that obscurely either. Some weeks ago, we had a test. I spend the hour before the test sitting in the hallway across the door to our lecture room, studying. He usually goes directly inside when he arrives as he’s always there before I am. This time, he sat on the floor too next to some other guy. I couldn't directly see him since he was sitting on the same side of the hallway as me and a large garbage can was standing between us. After like 15 minutes he got up and entered the room. I didn’t look up from my notes but I heard him. The week after he stood directly in front of me in the hallway and I felt like he was kind of waiting for me to say something but I didn't because I'm stupid. Last week he passed me on his way out of the lecture room. I wanted to say something to him but I was so surprised that he actually “did something” that I forgot about it. He raised his eyebrows in recognition and mumbled something like “Hi” or “Bye” and quickly left. This week I brought a friend along to lecture because he was killing time. We sat in front of the lecture room with another friend of mine and talked and laughed and stuff. Blondie passed us, looked at me, and went inside. It’s now a month ago that I've talked to him and last week was the first and do far last time he at least greeted me. Next week’s our last class this year. My question now is: would you say I'm right assuming he dislikes me? Thank you all for your answers, JT
basil67 Posted November 26, 2015 Posted November 26, 2015 I doubt he saw your exchange in the library as an expression of interest. All I got from the exchange is that you were friendly to him. I don't think he dislikes you. I think it's more about the two of you simply not connecting or being weird when you do connect.
BrocasHelm Posted November 26, 2015 Posted November 26, 2015 Jeez, I can't believe you survived so long like that! Couldn't tell whether he likes you or not from what you wrote, all I'm sure of is that you've been analyzing this stuff for months without even trying a thing! If you like this guy and he doesn't look like he's gonna ask you out, then ask him out yourself! Even if he says no, you'll be set and there's no more torturing yourself 2
Author JackieT Posted November 27, 2015 Author Posted November 27, 2015 Jeez, I can't believe you survived so long like that! Couldn't tell whether he likes you or not from what you wrote, all I'm sure of is that you've been analyzing this stuff for months without even trying a thing! If you like this guy and he doesn't look like he's gonna ask you out, then ask him out yourself! Even if he says no, you'll be set and there's no more torturing yourself Thank you for your answer. You're right and a reasonable person would do what you suggested. But I did try something. After that stupid glancing game went on for some time I went and talked to him. I was hoping that he would at least say Hi from now on when he sees me but he didn't so I thought "OK, that might be his way of telling me doesn't like me".
Author JackieT Posted November 27, 2015 Author Posted November 27, 2015 I doubt he saw your exchange in the library as an expression of interest. All I got from the exchange is that you were friendly to him That might be because you're from Australia. I've never been there but from what I've heard people there are very outgoing. Here in Toronto people are socially really awkward. Me talking to him for no apparent reason would normally be seen as making a move here.
Grumpybutfun Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 Think about guys who act like they are interested and care about you, not guys who you have to guess about. Guys who are interested act like they are interested...end of discussion unless they are socially inept. Maybe you like those guys...if so, do whatever you need to do to reward his indifferent behavior. G 1
BrocasHelm Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 That might be because you're from Australia. I've never been there but from what I've heard people there are very outgoing. Here in Toronto people are socially really awkward. Me talking to him for no apparent reason would normally be seen as making a move here. "would normally be seen" means it's not yet an obvious move. Maybe he's really awkward and was totally oblivious to it. Ask him out!
introverted1 Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 Yikes, that's a whole lotta analyzing happening there. Anyway.. you introduced yourself and, in doing so, made it clear you've been aware of him. He has not chosen to extend or escalate that introduction so my take is that he is not interested. You can confirm this by asking him out -- you never know, he might surprise you -- or you could just move on to someone who is interested in you. Personally, I would take the latter approach but you seem pretty invested.
Recommended Posts