Lobouspo Posted November 26, 2015 Posted November 26, 2015 Say you broke up with your significant other, and harsh and hurtful words were exchanged when it ended. Would you break no contact to apologize for the some of the things you said?
hippychick3 Posted November 26, 2015 Posted November 26, 2015 As long as there were no expectations of a response back and no hidden motivation to reconnect.
casey.lives Posted November 26, 2015 Posted November 26, 2015 If much time has passed, let it pass. saying harsh words help with the inevitable for some.. facts of life. 1
Silver_star Posted November 26, 2015 Posted November 26, 2015 No apologies are required if that is the way you felt. It probably helps them move on if things were so hostile at the end. I would say stay NC. Apologizing to someone you just broke up with may give them false hope. Even if it is sincere, it will just look like an attempt to try and get them back at some point. They are needing space. Down the line, when they have moved on you could say sorry for the harsh words, but it is not a good time right now. 1
roxan Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 No, dont break NC to apologize unless you want or try to get back with your ex. If you are not interested in reconnecting with your ex,then there's no for apologizes,just leave them alone,because even if you regret what you said,it will just look like you re trying to get back with them 1
Author Lobouspo Posted November 27, 2015 Author Posted November 27, 2015 Thanks I've never been with a woman who pushed my buttons like her. She said some things to me that would literally leave me in tears. I would block her and she'd always come back and aplogize, and we would get back. She made some comments about my mother and I just lost it and said some awful things about her past. I feel bad about what I said, and want to at least end things amicably, but I don't want to make things worse, or even get back together for that matter.
todreaminblue Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 yes...i often apologise to people even if i feel i havent done anything wrong...just to end an argument or disagreement........i really dislike no contact with people i care about.....ill often just talking to them again like nothing happened.....until it can be bought up peacefully when the other party is calm and i am calm....deb
candie13 Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 sounds like a toxic RS, OP. Stay in no contact, that is MOST important for your health. However, I also understand about guilt. You need to deal with the guilt and let it out. Try writing letters to her - and never sending them. Pour your heart out on paper and let it all out. Let a few days, maybe even a week, and then write another one... you'd be so surprised at the stuff that comes out. Most likely, your reaction is not just linked to her but to some old woundings from your past. Try to identify them and heal those, if you don't want to run into another woman triggering you against your will... read a bit about anger, it'll do you good. 1
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