Is it a good idea to go return my ex-boyfriend's belongings today when he's not home?

[Ashleywill88]

I'm not really sure how to link two discussion threads so i'm reposting my previous thread with my current thread.

 

I've been with him for 3 years and we're both in our late 20's. I know this may sound really embarrassing, but I rarely wear underwear (panties) when i'm wearing work clothes. I only do this if i'm wear pretty baggy work pants I do this. I just hate wearing them and i don't wear underwear when i'm home. I've been doing this for a long time, but i guess he never noticed. So last Wednesday i was over his house and he asked me to change into his shorts instead of being in my work pants. So i did and he noticed I wasn't wearing any underwear. He got so outraged that I can't even put it in writing; he kept asking "why the hell aren't you wearing underwear?", "you've never done this before", and so on. He also said that he's going to make sure to go have sex with another girl. I reassured him that I do this often and i actually went over his house several times before after work and i didn't have underwear on. I would just change into his clothes and put his boxers as soon as I got to his house, or he just didn't notice until now. So I was and still am really hurt; i even started crying just a little, because we claim that we trust each other and i was shocked at his entire reaction. This was my first time actually crying in front of him. He even tried to kick me out, but I stayed at this house for a couple hours after that and continued to reassure him that I always do this and i didn't do anything wrong. We haven't been in contact with each other since last Wed. Yesterday marked 1 week that we didn’t speak.

So fast forwarding to now, he's in contact with other girls via social media, so the hope i had for our relationship is now gone. I've fought for our relationship so many times in the past and it's just so easy for him to let me go now. It hurts beyond words. I have a lot of his clothes that he didn’t want to take before. I’m wondering if it’s a good idea to drop them off at his front door. He won’t be home. I just want to try to move on and looking at his stuff just hurts. thoughts?

[Silver_star]

In regards to his stuff...you could drop it off on his door step if you want. No harm in that. You could also not go through the trouble, and just get rid of it. I don't think he is expecting it back. If he asks for it back after you get rid of it, just say you didn't think he wanted it because you wore all of it without your underwear on...

 

 

 

He sounds like an immature, insecure little boy. What a weird conclusion he came to from you not wearing underwear... it must mean that you are sleeping around.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Move on.

[PegNosePete]

Technically from a legal point of view you're responsible for his things. If you for example throw them away, or put them in the street and they get stolen or trashed, he could sue you for the value.

 

But in practice, as long as you leave them somewhere safe at his place, you're good. Just leave them out of sight or in the wheelie bin or something, and put a note through his letterbox telling him where they are.

[pidgeon1010]

I think the "underwear" thing was just a pretext for breaking up. He sounds like he wanted out and just used that as his vehicle.

 

Regarding his clothes, if he didn't want to take them before, then you can dispose of them any way you want, including leaving them at his front door.

[Silver_star]

I would say that it not completely correct Pete.

 

His belongings are on her property and she cannot be responsible for these clothes indefinitely.

 

I don't think he is going to care, personally. Unless he is kind of crazy about his few clothing items.

 

 

But if you do look at it from a legal standpoint...you can give him 30 days to collect his things if he doesn't THEN "legally" you are entitled to remove them/toss them, whatever you wish. It's reasonable to notify someone that their items are on your property, and that you will toss them if not collected in X time frame.