unicorn40020 Posted November 26, 2015 Posted November 26, 2015 I was feeling sad in my relationship of 9 months, he wasn't giving the relationship enough effort because he is immature and doesn't know how to act even though i expressed how i felt many times. So I broke up with him today. I was crying for hours, but later in the day; I didn't feel sad. I just feel happy and normal. I still get a little sad and teary eyed thinking about the breakup but in general I'm not sad. The thing is, I love him and I want to get back with him although I have been feeling sad with him. Now that we are apart and I feel happy, I feel like I can feel this happy in the relationship if he puts more effort in. Is this crazy to think? Am I still possibly in denial that we broke up? I want to be with him I love him so much I just don'y want the sadness that comes with it. This is such a weird feeling. Why am I not sad
ty10 Posted November 26, 2015 Posted November 26, 2015 I was feeling sad in my relationship of 9 months, he wasn't giving the relationship enough effort because he is immature and doesn't know how to act even though i expressed how i felt many times. So I broke up with him today. I was crying for hours, but later in the day; I didn't feel sad. I just feel happy and normal. I still get a little sad and teary eyed thinking about the breakup but in general I'm not sad. The thing is, I love him and I want to get back with him although I have been feeling sad with him. Now that we are apart and I feel happy, I feel like I can feel this happy in the relationship if he puts more effort in. Is this crazy to think? Am I still possibly in denial that we broke up? I want to be with him I love him so much I just don'y want the sadness that comes with it. This is such a weird feeling. Why am I not sad Your first paragraph rings true with me - my ex wasn't putting in the effort and she is immature. I considered ending things but gave her the benefit of the doubt due to her new job, she then ended things with me when I told her I wasn't happy with her effort, although other issues I believe played a factor. I think if I had ended it I would've been in the same boat. You're not sad because you weren't happy with the relationship as a whole, you broke up because the relationship was broken and your needs weren't being met.
marky00 Posted November 26, 2015 Posted November 26, 2015 Very soon post-breakup, dumpers tend to feel relieved simple because they have made a decision. Making a decision, right or wrong brings relief. You will probably feel that way for a week or two and then enter a different phase where you may start seeing the good in the relationship and possibly start to have some regrets. Your never going to be 100 percent sure of your decision, that's why they are tough decisions. Unless there is cheating or abuse involved, there is always gonna be that thought of "maybe he could have changed" or "maybe its more about me than him" etc etc. As its stands you have a made decision. Yes there may be some second guessing that occurs. But unless you willing to act on the regrets you may have (i.e. reconcile the relationship), you just going to have to accept those thoughts as the consequences of the decision.
schlieman Posted November 26, 2015 Posted November 26, 2015 Just be carefull. I broke up with my wife a bit more than 2 month ago because i couldn't take the way she treated me sometimes and being selfish anymore. Up until 2 weeks ago i did not feel sad much, i felt like a new start. But them 2 weeks ago it hit me, all the feelings of loving her and missing her came up, to the extend that i reached out to her...just to be shattered. You might not feel sad now but be prepared that it might hit you still.
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