Riptide91 Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 Is it ever worth it to let someone figure out how they feel about you? If they say they need time to figure out their own life is that basically a way out or could they potentially come back? My recent girlfriend and I split a little while ago with no hard feelings. She has many dreams and aspirations, which was one of the things I loved most, in which take up her time. We were very good for each other and got along perfectly. We fell very fast, and cared deeply for each other. She told me how she had never been treated so well. However, the things in her life have gotten harder and she began to be very stressed with finishing college and figuring out what to do from there. She decided it would be best for both of us to end it as she couldn't give enough to the relationship and that wasn't fair to me. She said that she hoped she could find me when she was done with school, but not to wait. Normally I would chalk it up a loss and move on but something about this girl had me with my eyes set far into the future with her. Now obviously, I'm a grown man and I would never put my life on hold for however long just to see if something MIGHT happen. But just for curiousity how often does this ever happen? Do you think it was sincere? Also, do you think I should jump back into dating or take some time off to figure out what I want again and regroup?
LilaMarie Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 If I loved someone I wouldn't take a chance and let them go. Actions speak louder than words...
Zippy2000 Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 (edited) She said that she hoped she could find me when she was done with school, but not to wait. Great Scott! I mean really? There`s nothing worse than for a woman to give you a little hope and make it sound that in the future it will work. Well, McFly. I got something to tell you. In the future they dont need roads and you wont be with her. Women communicate indirectly as to not hurt your feelings. Lilamarie is right. Actions speak louder than words. She let you go for a reason but she just hasnt told you. Give it time and the truth will come out. It always does. Edited November 28, 2015 by Zippy2000
Author Riptide91 Posted December 3, 2015 Author Posted December 3, 2015 If I loved someone I wouldn't take a chance and let them go. Actions speak louder than words... I think this is how I feel too. Why would you let something get away that is good for you without trying first? The things is we still talk almost everyday. And it seems like she still has feelings for me, in fact, I know she does. So why end it, maybe she's afraid of commitment? Or?
kassy Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 Personally I'd just go NC so you can move on. Tell her you need to move on and talking all the time isn't working for you, but to get in touch if she comes to a place where she might want a relationship again. She doesn't want you or she would be with you. You don't need to work out why, it doesn't matter. Just move on, this limbo is just drawing out the pain
katiegrl Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 (edited) Is it ever worth it to let someone figure out how they feel about you? If they say they need time to figure out their own life is that basically a way out or could they potentially come back? My recent girlfriend and I split a little while ago with no hard feelings. She has many dreams and aspirations, which was one of the things I loved most, in which take up her time. We were very good for each other and got along perfectly. We fell very fast, and cared deeply for each other. She told me how she had never been treated so well. However, the things in her life have gotten harder and she began to be very stressed with finishing college and figuring out what to do from there. She decided it would be best for both of us to end it as she couldn't give enough to the relationship and that wasn't fair to me. She said that she hoped she could find me when she was done with school, but not to wait. I think she just said that to let you down easy. There is no way if she were into you that she would let you go like that. When we're into someone and care....there is always time, even if that time is limited..... you don't just break up with someone. That said, you said her life had become stressed and she didn't feel she could devote enough time to the relationship.....that it wouldn't be fair to YOU to continue on. Just asking....but do you think it's possible she felt pressured by you to devote more to the RL? Perhaps all she needed was a bit more space....were you open to that? Do you think it's possible she thought you were a bit too demanding of her...her time, etc? That may have turned her off and stressed her out even more than she already was.... or maybe it was just the RL in general that was stressing her out. I don't know.... I am just asking if you think that's possible. Edited December 3, 2015 by katiegrl
Author Riptide91 Posted December 3, 2015 Author Posted December 3, 2015 (edited) I think she just said that to let you down easy. There is no way if she were into you that she would let you go like that. When we're into someone and care....there is always time, even if that time is limited..... you don't just break up with someone. That said, you said her life had become stressed and she didn't feel she could devote enough time to the relationship.....that it wouldn't be fair to YOU to continue on. Just asking....but do you think it's possible she felt pressured by you to devote more to the RL? Perhaps all she needed was a bit more space....were you open to that? And I get the whole "let them down easy" thing, I've done it before, but if it was that why would she contact me all the time still? And it's not like friendly things it seems more flirty, etc. Actually, this has come to light recently that she kind of thinks we moved too fast. She said she wasn't ready in her life for something like we had and that she needed a little more time to finish herself before getting ready to REALLY be serious. Now I wonder if she just wanted to go slower than we did and got caught up in it. It seems like the more distant or less demanding I am the more into it she is? Edited December 3, 2015 by Riptide91 Typos
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