io2iio Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Iam 32, Male dating a 28 Female. We have been dating for about 4 months. The relationship is going well and i like her. I assume that she likes me too. We spent atleast 1 to 2 times a week together. She lives by herself and i live by myself and we live in the same city. Recently a friend of mine found out that she is still has an online dating profile on okcupid and she is still active. When i asked her about it, she said she is checking it for funny messages and she likes the relationship where it is and she isnt thinking about anything serious at the moment. She feels that its ok to have an online profile because most messages from guys are useless. I feel its disrespecting the other person and also keeping her options open if some other guy comes along. We have had the conversation that she isnt interested in dating in anyone and iam not interested in dating anyone. My theory is that she isnt into it for 100%. Am i wrong ??. Unbaised and open opinion please Link to post Share on other sites
Redfisher Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 So you had the exclusive talk? If so then yeah she should take down her profile. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
VengeanceGuidesMe Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Exclusive = no profile If you had the talk, I'd break up with her. I wouldn't even give her a chance to take it down now. No talk, you want exclusivity, then you need to bring it up now and tell her you don't like the profile anymore. If she said no, and I wanted it, I'd leave her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ic1 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 she isnt thinking about anything serious at the moment. Was that her exact words "at the moment"? As in, no interests from guys messaging me online at the moment, but one could come up! She feels that its ok to have an online profile because most messages from guys are useless. I feel its disrespecting the other person and also keeping her options open if some other guy comes along. We have had the conversation that she isnt interested in dating in anyone and iam not interested in dating anyone. My theory is that she isnt into it for 100%. Am i wrong ??. She needs to close it if you two are both truly not interested in anyone else. Having it for entertainment is an excuse and not a reason for it. (There is no rational reason for it). Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Your read as in "she's not in it 100%" is my read as well. If I really liked her and saw a future I'd tell her point blank I am looking for a exclusive R, am I looking in the wrong place? Her reaction and response will give you the answer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author io2iio Posted November 25, 2015 Author Share Posted November 25, 2015 (edited) Was that her exact words "at the moment"? Yes she said i enjoy spending time and what we have now. She also dated an alcoholic abusive dude for close to 2 years before me who threatened to kill himself if she doesnt come back after she told him that she is ending things with him. Dont know if that plays any role. Maybe iam thinking too much into it. I cant trust her words because her actions dont follow her words Edited November 25, 2015 by io2iio Link to post Share on other sites
J21 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 You either had the exclusivity talk or you didn't. If you did, then break up. If you didn't, have one, and then clarify the profile should be down. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 You need to dial back your interest and go get back online and find someone who is ready right now for what you're ready for. She's not, for whatever reason. Since: she is still has an online dating profile on okcupid and she is still active. and she said: she is checking it for funny messages and she likes the relationship where it is and she isn't thinking about anything serious at the moment. That means that despite what you think is going on, the same is not going on in her head in the exact same way. This rather lets you know there is no exclusivity from her point of view. IF she felt that way, the profile would be inactive. Yeah, ask her, but understand that she's going to do what she wants to do, as she's already told you she's not getting rid of the profile. Ball is in your court now. Do you keep playing with her or do you leave the court? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
11012015 Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 she said she is checking it for funny messages That is BS. She feels that its ok to have an online profile because most messages from guys are useless. 4 months is a long time. And it is not OK. I feel its disrespecting the other person and also keeping her options open if some other guy comes along. Exactly. My theory is that she isnt into it for 100%. Am i wrong ??. You are not wrong. She is keeping her options open. You should too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 What are people saying break up with her. There is NO relationship here to break up. You guys are merely dating. Has one also read the part where she saud she isnt looking for anything serious!! Think that says it all really. Link to post Share on other sites
mssweet Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 (edited) Don't let her fool you. If you guys are exclusive, the profile should come down. No excuses. But you said "she isnt thinking about anything serious at the moment". So she is obviously keeping her options open and/or is insecure and enjoys receiving validation from other guys. Edited December 18, 2015 by mssweet Link to post Share on other sites
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