Quokka Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 Basically me and this girl we'll call her C. We had a thing recently and I mean thing as in we were talking and fooling around with each other. I saw this girl as. Potential girlfriend so I was rather interested cause it's hard for me to find someone that I actually like. So I really did like her. She's had a crush on me since I was 16 and she was 14. She's now 17 and I'm 19. I never really noticed her when she was 14 because I wasn't into girls younger than me at this time in my life. Fast forward a couple years and we talk, hangout at parties, go out to eat together, etc. she recently got out of a really ****ed up situation like I won't even go into detail but just trust me it was a really really ****ed up situation I'll lend you a hint, it involved her and a guy MUCH MUCH older than her. After her parents figured this **** out that ended realllll quick. She also had a boyfriend of 2 years prior to the ****ed up situation. There's the backstory. Recently, however, she's been hitting up, calling me, coming over, ****ing me, just bein dirty with me and I was really diggin this girl. Fast forward a week and we're at party during that week before she party we had no contact besides a few snapchats sent by her. I see her at this party and she tells me she got in trouble because she snuck me into her house and her mom had cameras in the house!! I was like fuuuuuck. After our conversation I go outside to smoke a cig, come back in, can't find her anywhere. I noticed her ex boyfriend is gone as well. I put two and two together and figured out what was up. An hour goes by she comes out of this bedroom hair all ****ed up, make up all ****ed up and 5 mins later who comes out the bedroom? You guessed it, her ex. Now, I really didn't know what to think or how I was gonna react but this is what I did (mind you I had a couple drinks during my reaction) I ignored her the rest of the night didn't even bat her an eye and then I left the party with all my homies. I'm still pretty mad about the situation and a little drunk so in my drunken state I decide it's a good idea to send this girl a text (you can see where this is going) Now, the text I sent was relatively harmless. Here's the text I sent: "I don't really have a right to be mad. We weren't anything at all to begin with. I'm sure you gotta good guess as to why so I won't explain. I just kinda figured you had a thing for me but I realize it really wasn't like that. Like I said I don't really have a right to be mad so I won't be I just prefer you don't hit me up anymore or try and talk to me cause I just ain't down with it. I was kinda diggin you and wish **** could be different but to me it seems you just don't like me like that. And yeah I kinda care or I wouldn't be sending you this. And yeah my feelings are kinda hurt or I wouldn't be sending this. So I guess you can take what you want from this. Just don't try to talk to me anymore please. I really just don't like that kinda ****. If you say something to me. Just mean it." She replied two days later with this: "Kyler, I just want you to know I really do like you I really do care about you. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Me and my ex always get back together and I don't really know why. I've had a thing for you for awhile now. And I was just kinda going with the flow." I didn't respond and it's been around 2-3 days since I got that message. I honestly just felt disrespected cause I know she was only hittin me up when other dude wasn't hitting her up. And I let my ego get the best of me and it just really irked me to know some dude was ****ing her 10 feet from me. I like this girl but damn why do women always got to be doing some shady ****. So with all this said, was my reaction over the top or justified? And what's my next move at this point? I'm thinking silence is the best way to go but I just kinda need an opinion. Thank you so much if you read all of this. -quokka
runforafall Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 I think her actions, and response to your text message, make it pretty darn clear that she is not really interested in anything more than your current 'no strings attached' relationship with her right now. If she was really that into you and wanted things to progress, she would have been hitting you up at that party, not her ex. If you are not OK with this arrangement, you are right to end contact with her. Given that it sounds like she is not the most stable individual in the world and has a lot of emotional baggage, it's probably for the best in any case.
PegNosePete Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 It doesn't matter. You're clearly not compatible. Just NC her and move on.
casey.lives Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 that person is extremely disrespectful.... MOVE ON and don't ever make contact again. respect is something that must be taught at a young age.
littlez360 Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 I hear what other's are saying, and maybe they're right, the mature thing to do would be to drop her like a bag of hammers and move on. However I personally, would spin the tables around on her just for kicks. Get a date with her, and make sure she finds out somehow that you slept with another girl before hand. Just play the same card... "yeah... sometimes that just happens with me, kinda like you and your ex"
dobielover Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 I hear what other's are saying, and maybe they're right, the mature thing to do would be to drop her like a bag of hammers and move on. However I personally, would spin the tables around on her just for kicks. Get a date with her, and make sure she finds out somehow that you slept with another girl before hand. Just play the same card... "yeah... sometimes that just happens with me, kinda like you and your ex" This kid is 19. If he does this, he'll start down a path of responding with ridiculous nonsense when faced with rejection instead of taking it like a man. He'll be drawn to drama and drama to him. So, if he is looking for quality girls to be interested and drawn to him, this is the last thing he should focus on or do. 1
littlez360 Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 This kid is 19. If he does this, he'll start down a path of responding with ridiculous nonsense when faced with rejection instead of taking it like a man. He'll be drawn to drama and drama to him. So, if he is looking for quality girls to be interested and drawn to him, this is the last thing he should focus on or do. I get what you're trying to say. But 19 isn't that young... I don't think he's going to develop any kind of complex from this situation, especially if he tries to make light of it and get a laugh out of it. Yes he can just drop it, it sucks that happened to him and that's that. Nothing wrong with that, I agree, that'd be the mature thing to do. But I don't think him playing around with this disrespectful chick is gna hurt his chances of finding a quality girl in the future... He's not being any less of a man by reacting to some bull**** that went down. I don't like games, but if a girl were to pull that **** on me, It wouldn't take much effort for me to spin it around on her and maybe she'll learn a lesson and save other guys from her ways...
littlez360 Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 Then again, I don't think of a relationship as the "goal" of dating, but merely an occasional "outcome" of dating. So how I would approach situations are probably very different from others.
mystikmind2005 Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 I'm thinking possibly your not all that into her? People in a fresh new relationship are usually inseparable, yet she is somehow left alone to hook up with her ex at a party? I wonder did she feel ignored or left out? I'm not excusing what she did, just wondering if you were never all that strongly into her?
xcupid Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 I hear what other's are saying, and maybe they're right, the mature thing to do would be to drop her like a bag of hammers and move on. However I personally, would spin the tables around on her just for kicks. Get a date with her, and make sure she finds out somehow that you slept with another girl before hand. Just play the same card... "yeah... sometimes that just happens with me, kinda like you and your ex" At least we know the immature thing to do.
littlez360 Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 I'm willing to set all maturity aside to get a good laugh out of what would normally be an upsetting situation, and if anything else, somebody gets a taste of their own medicine. I don't always find it necessary to be a mature adult.
joseb Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 I'm thinking possibly your not all that into her? People in a fresh new relationship are usually inseparable, yet she is somehow left alone to hook up with her ex at a party? I wonder did she feel ignored or left out? I'm not excusing what she did, just wondering if you were never all that strongly into her? He went out to smoke. Didn't take her long to hook up. And they are not in a relationship. OP she's not worth bothering with. Forget her.
mystikmind2005 Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 He went out to smoke. Didn't take her long to hook up. And they are not in a relationship. I don't buy that at all, no one could be that stupid to think they can have sex and not get caught when the bf is outside having a cigarette!! hehehe He blew her off in some way shape or form, that's why she did it - but again, no excuse.
joseb Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 I don't buy that at all, no one could be that stupid to think they can have sex and not get caught when the bf is outside having a cigarette!! hehehe He blew her off in some way shape or form, that's why she did it - but again, no excuse. I'm only going on what the OP said. Maybe it's bs. But he is not her boyfriend. They are barely dating.
Author Quokka Posted November 29, 2015 Author Posted November 29, 2015 I'm only going on what the OP said. Maybe it's bs. But he is not her boyfriend. They are barely dating. THIS. Yeah I'm not dating this girl we were only fooling around but she made it seem like she wanted me to be a potential partner. We were only just starting to talk. We were just figuring each other out, get to know each other. Then she pulls some **** with her ex. But I kinda expected it tbh. The town I'm from, no one tries anything new. It's a small town so people just go back to whatever they're used to. Such a shame. But yeah, I would kinda like to get back at her just cause I know this girl does like me. She has for 4 years so she didn't ever stop liking me. But as of right now. I haven't said a damn word to her since all of this.
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