Shorty87 Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 Hi all, I'm new to this forum and am wanting advice on my current situation. I will attempt to keep this short. My boyfriend and I have been on and off again for three years. We originally met on a Contiki trip in Europe and lived in the same province - small world. I went to Europe with my best girl friend and eventually decided to change my plans and went to Belgium with him and then met my girl friend in France. It was the best trip of our lives. I headed home before him as he was about to go on another Contiki trip. During that time, we constantly emailed each other and kept in touch. Once he returned home. We decided to hang out so I drove 2.5 hrs to visit him. Things were going well and we continued for a few months until he decided he could no long do this long distance thing and the spark wasn't there anymore. A few weeks later he left to go on a trip to Europe with a mutual friend. A few months later, I received an email from him and he also contacted my girl friend in regards to my relationship status as I didn't respond to his email in a timely manner. He stated he missed me and enjoyed our time together and was willing to work things out. He drove up to visit me a couple of weeks later and we got back together. He made a continuous effort. In September 2013, I got accepted in college so I moved away from home. He was living with his parents at that time and decided to move to the city with me. I never told him to or mention it. While we were in the same city, our relationship blossomed. We both thoroughly enjoyed our time together and spent every moment together when we could. In January 2013, he was offered a job back in his town and he took it as a chance to get into the field he wanted for college. I was upset that he was moving as I enjoyed being together and scared we would have issues again but supported him anyways. While we were ~ 600 km away, we still worked things out and I visited as often as I could during my school breaks. In September 2014, he got accepted into college that about ~250 km from me. I took bi-weekly trips to visit him. As he was attending school and working 40 hrs a week. And I didn't mind as I was living in residence so that gave me a break from the parties and roomies. We had a few discussions about me visiting frequently and he barely came to visit me as I was getting exhausted but things still were working between us. In May 2015, I was placed in a practicum in the same city as him - what a coincidence. I moved in with him and his four roomies and their two of their girlfriends. Things were challenging as I practicum, he was on practicum, and he was working 40 hrs a week so we barely spent much time together. Not to mention, I had to get up for practicum at 0530am and stay up until 12am each weekday as he didn't get off work until 1030pm usually. We would usually watch a tv show or grab a bite to eat. One the last day of my two month practicum, I got injured. He was there for me which I absolutely appreciated. And I moved back home in July 2015, as that was where my family doctor was and needed regular check ups. We never discussed our future. From July until now, we have nightly skype dates and I would visit him as much as could - one week a month minimum. However, things were continuing to become more rocky as time went on. He was having troubles with the LDR as I was constantly there and now I am not anymore. When the boys went out, their girlfriends would join so he would miss me more. He worked a lot more just to keep himself busy as I didn't know how else to help him in this situation. We often discussed our future, marriage, our parents, kids, and our future goals. However, he no longer wanted to move to my hometown as planned originally. I was very upset at first. He had chosen three larger cities that we could move to and start our lives. I chose the city in was in presently. During one night on our skype date, he wanted to break up with me as he felt like he pressured me in moving when I didn't want to. Yes, it is hard to leave my family, friends, work and the place I grew up in. But I had also started to look for housing and jobs as I came to terms with it. We discussed our future again and were still on the same page. I went down to visit him and we looked at places together. He had called his parents that night to inform them. His parents were not on board. His vibe was different, he was cold, so I decided to give him space and slept on the couch that night. The couple days after, he tells me that they wrote an email to him about their concerns and that they couldn't sleep. But he hasn't read it. However, since we both shared the account I could see that he read it. He reassured me that things were still okay between us. Last week, I told him I had a job interview for this Thursday and asked him for his schedule to see when it would be a good time for me to visit. He also asked for my January 2016 schedule so he could book time off for our birthdays as work was asking him. Well, yesterday... he texted me not to book my flights until we had a talk. After a three hour discussion contemplating about our relationship and what we were going to do as he was feeling uncertain and just not feeling right. He had been talking with the boys about our situation for the past few months as well as his parents apparently. His parents were concerned of our history of breaking up and getting back together especially with us moving in together. My exercise level as he is a personal trainer. He goes to the gym every day for two hours whereas I go to the gym three times a week and that we enjoy hiking but I don't do very well elevation as I get lightheaded. In addition, he wants to be active and do things after work which I didn't display to him during my practicum due to my long hours. His parents are scared that I will hold him down and not let him succeed in life which I would feel horrible for doing so I would let him go in that circumstance as I don't feel that I have done that in our relationship. He was also concerned that he might not be happy in the future. He was also concerned of my health as I am two years older than him and we would wait awhile longer for kids. And the fact that we disagree on movies and music. No matter what I seemed to say or defend myself it didn't seem to mean anything to him. However, he seemed conflicted as he cried and stated he had mixed emotions. I told him I loved him, I missed him, and that I don't want to lose him. He told me it was too late as that's what he wanted months ago. He never reciprocated anything so I don't know exactly how he is feeling. We got no where. So we took a break for a couple of hours from skype as he wanted to go to the gym. When we returned to our discussion... he broke things off with me. He informed me we could try a break or just completely break up but it was my decision. I asked for a break obviously. But then he states that if another guy comes across my path in the mean time, I shouldn't turn him down, I should enjoy myself, and heal up. He stated he wouldn't go out of his way to date anyone but if someone crossed his path he would take the chance. Since that was the case, I agreed as long as he didn't have sex with anyone. He required a rationale to my decision and I stated that if we get back together I didn't want him to be sleeping around. I have a feeling his parents had more to do with this break up than anything. When I go visit him he seems happy we seem to work well together. However, when we are apart that is where he starts have doubts especially since I haven't moved in yet. What I do in this situation? Do I move on? Or do I try to win him back some how? I love him dearly. I already miss him. I believe, he is "the one". We do have similar goals in life. We work well together but when we are apart that is where the uncertainty kicks in. Thanks for reading and the advice.
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