Amelie1980 Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 i cant stop checking his whatsapp to see when he was last online. hasn't blocked me at least. Anyone else do this?
2mehappiness Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 YES! I used to do this all the time and I was driving myself crazy. There is an option on whatsapp where you can change the privacy settings. You wont be able to see when he was last online and he wont be able to check your status either. Go to the privacy settings >>last seen>>nobody. It has helped me tremendously. Even if I want to snoop, I no longer can
TaraMaiden2 Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 i cant stop checking his whatsapp to see when he was last online. Then you are NOT implementing NC. hasn't blocked me at least. Why should he? If you implement NC, then it's up to you to block everything, not him. THis lack of willpower is on you, pot him... Anyone else do this?Never in a million years......
Author Amelie1980 Posted November 24, 2015 Author Posted November 24, 2015 Then you are NOT implementing NC. Why should he? If you implement NC, then it's up to you to block everything, not him. THis lack of willpower is on you, pot him... Never in a million years...... He blocked me on facebook when I found out what he was up to and we were NEVER friends on Facebook. So he stopped me looking at his facebook profile page which only allows you to see his profile picture but not stopped the method of communication we used. That i why I remarked he hasnt blocked me.......
Author Amelie1980 Posted November 24, 2015 Author Posted November 24, 2015 YES! I used to do this all the time and I was driving myself crazy. There is an option on whatsapp where you can change the privacy settings. You wont be able to see when he was last online and he wont be able to check your status either. Go to the privacy settings >>last seen>>nobody. It has helped me tremendously. Even if I want to snoop, I no longer can Yes you can. Just change the settings back. Too easily undone.
Dylon Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 Social media or modern messaging makes breakup so hard. Yes, before I deleted her number from my phone, I checked on the whatsapp too. Delete his number if you can. Then the only way to reconnect with the ability to check on him is to add his number, write to him and he replies.
TaraMaiden2 Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 Yes you can. Just change the settings back. Too easily undone. Yes, but if you don't make the effort you might as well not bother implementing anything at all. It's clear you have no wish to actually stop checking on him.... If he doesn't block you, it's not an open invitation to you to break NC. But if you do - then you cannot hand on heart claim to be in NC, because you're not......
Author Amelie1980 Posted November 24, 2015 Author Posted November 24, 2015 Yes, but if you don't make the effort you might as well not bother implementing anything at all. It's clear you have no wish to actually stop checking on him.... If he doesn't block you, it's not an open invitation to you to break NC. But if you do - then you cannot hand on heart claim to be in NC, because you're not...... Fair enough. I have been involved with this one twice. Not seriously. Hence I wonder if he will give it another shot when he is bored or single again.
TaraMaiden2 Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 You really want to be an option if he happens to be single, or bored...? You really think that's a valid reason to respond to any advances from a man who comes back because there's nothing else on his agenda at the moment...? Hell's bells, don't even give him an opening!!
Blanco Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 I'd never heard of Whatsapp until joining this forum. Based strictly on the posts mentioning it, the app's sole function appears to be making exes anxious and miserable. 1
Author Amelie1980 Posted November 24, 2015 Author Posted November 24, 2015 You really want to be an option if he happens to be single, or bored...? You really think that's a valid reason to respond to any advances from a man who comes back because there's nothing else on his agenda at the moment...? Hell's bells, don't even give him an opening!! Tara you are absolutely right and I KNOW THAT. I have had an even rougher time this year than ever. I got made redundant and am so *****ing bored and miserable I would take the attention.
TaraMaiden2 Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 Well buck your ideas up, because believe me, if I was alone on a desert island, unable to escape under my own steam, and bored bored bored out of my tiny mind - I wouldn't flag my ex's ship down for anything. Not ever. Please do not insult your own integrity and dignity. Bit of self-respect, girl.... 2
Author Amelie1980 Posted November 25, 2015 Author Posted November 25, 2015 Well buck your ideas up, because believe me, if I was alone on a desert island, unable to escape under my own steam, and bored bored bored out of my tiny mind - I wouldn't flag my ex's ship down for anything. Not ever. Please do not insult your own integrity and dignity. Bit of self-respect, girl.... I know. I havent even bothered to get my stuff back from him, I just left it there. So hopefully at least it looks as though I dont give a toss. I am trying my best to find a new job. But he has been through it with work and he used to be sympathetic. I just miss talking to him etc.
foam12 Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 I know. I havent even bothered to get my stuff back from him, I just left it there. So hopefully at least it looks as though I dont give a toss. I am trying my best to find a new job. But he has been through it with work and he used to be sympathetic. I just miss talking to him etc. Do you want it to appear you don't care about the stuff you left at his place or do you really not care? There is a big difference... I am assuming you want it to appear that way since you are watching his log ins and seem to be eager for any bread crumbs. I would say focus all of your online time and efforts on LinkedIn, which will serve multiple purposes. Takes your attention away from your ex, keeps yourself busy, helps you find a job, maybe boost your confidence when people contact you, and most importantly helps you work on yourself.
Author Amelie1980 Posted November 25, 2015 Author Posted November 25, 2015 (edited) Do you want it to appear you don't care about the stuff you left at his place or do you really not care? There is a big difference... I am assuming you want it to appear that way since you are watching his log ins and seem to be eager for any bread crumbs. I would say focus all of your online time and efforts on LinkedIn, which will serve multiple purposes. Takes your attention away from your ex, keeps yourself busy, helps you find a job, maybe boost your confidence when people contact you, and most importantly helps you work on yourself. I want it to appear I dont care. This thread is evidence enough that I care. A male friend of mine told me just to leave my things. he said that way i would look like I dont give a damn about him even with him having my stuff an dont even contact him for it. Edited November 25, 2015 by Amelie1980
Blanco Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 The flaw with that strategy is, as you pointed out, that you do care. And I suspect that as long as these things are with him, you will care or at least use it as your ace in the hole to stay connected to him. That's counterproductive, even if you are creating the impression that you don't care. Either send this friend or someone to get the items for you or start assuming you won't see the things again. You're using those possessions as leverage to maybe see him again.
Author Amelie1980 Posted November 25, 2015 Author Posted November 25, 2015 The flaw with that strategy is, as you pointed out, that you do care. And I suspect that as long as these things are with him, you will care or at least use it as your ace in the hole to stay connected to him. That's counterproductive, even if you are creating the impression that you don't care. Either send this friend or someone to get the items for you or start assuming you won't see the things again. You're using those possessions as leverage to maybe see him again. I am not going to ask him for it back. I dont anticipate I will get it back.
darkbloom Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 i cant stop checking his whatsapp to see when he was last online. hasn't blocked me at least. Anyone else do this? NO! That shiz will drive you nuts. Block it and keep it blocked. It makes you feel 1038472348723 times worse when you see them online and they are NOT contacting you. It's kinda like a little mini stab in your heart every time you see that.
Author Amelie1980 Posted November 25, 2015 Author Posted November 25, 2015 NO! That shiz will drive you nuts. Block it and keep it blocked. It makes you feel 1038472348723 times worse when you see them online and they are NOT contacting you. It's kinda like a little mini stab in your heart every time you see that. The problem is I cant do it. I have over a year of nice messages from him on whatsapp. I dont want to delete them so his number stays there even if i delete him from my phone.
foam12 Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 The problem is I cant do it. I have over a year of nice messages from him on whatsapp. I dont want to delete them so his number stays there even if i delete him from my phone. Then you won't ever get over him. First thing I did was delete any texts, and then any pics on my phone or computer were put onto an external hard drive and stored away in my closet. You may as well contact him until you get a reply since that may be the only way you start to move on.
Author Amelie1980 Posted November 25, 2015 Author Posted November 25, 2015 Then you won't ever get over him. First thing I did was delete any texts, and then any pics on my phone or computer were put onto an external hard drive and stored away in my closet. You may as well contact him until you get a reply since that may be the only way you start to move on. he was the last one to contact. I never replied. I didnt wanna give my address to get my stuff back. i have done the contact contact contact before. After a few dead ends i got him back. Now here i am again.
makemineamac Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 They provide an option to export those messages. Export them then move on. I still think you should get your stuff. It's your stuff Amelie. Here's where to go to export those messages. WhatsApp FAQ - Exporting my messages
darkbloom Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 The problem is I cant do it. I have over a year of nice messages from him on whatsapp. I dont want to delete them so his number stays there even if i delete him from my phone. The nice messages don't mean anything now that you are not together anymore. It's going to feel like giving something precious away but it will help you move on and let go to delete them. I can't imagine rereading those messages without feeling like dying a little inside every time.
Blanco Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 It shouldn't feel like she's giving anything precious away. I recall her saying this guy was a player. I'm sure she's far from the only person who has "nice" messages from this guy.
Author Amelie1980 Posted November 25, 2015 Author Posted November 25, 2015 They provide an option to export those messages. Export them then move on. I still think you should get your stuff. It's your stuff Amelie. Here's where to go to export those messages. WhatsApp FAQ - Exporting my messages its only clothing. It was new. But im not bothered. Maybe he's given away. Mind you he held on to my umbrella for months before. Forgot about it and it was in his wardrobe all along.
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